When I first started blogging a few years ago it was for a number of reasons. One, I had just seen the movie Julia and Julia and thought the idea of a blog sounded like a great one. I was a newlywed at the time and a newly wed army wife at that. I had just moved from Wi where my family has lived my whole life, to North Carolina where my husband and I were starting our new life. I figured blogging would be a great way to journal our life as a newly married couple. I also figured it would be a great way to meet other military spouses and to connect with those who knew what I was going through. And lastly I thought it would be a great outlet for me! And it was all that and more. I met so many amazing bloggers and I loved when I saw my follower number incerase and I felt excited seeing each new comment on any post I wrote. Blogging was fun!
These past few years I have found myself blogging sporadically and less often. Sure it was a great way to journal about my pregnancies, deployments, fun times with the hubby and kids but I started to get less and less comments, my follower number stayed the same and I couldn't think of anything new or exciting to blog about. Blogging to me starting reminding me of high school. I didn't feel pretty enough, thin enough or exciting enough to post anything worth reading. People I had started reading when their blog journey had begun started becoming immensely popular, leaving my lonely blog along on the sidelines. I felt discouraged. I couldn't find my niche within the blog world. I am certainly not a fashion blogger, I barely wear anything other than workout clothes these days. When I do dress up I def do not want to share a picture as I am still struggling with body image and losing weight. I don't have time to photoshop my pictures, and make them all pretty and clear. I barely have time to put together a well written blog post. I feel other mommy bloggers out there can articulate their feelings about motherhood so much better than I can that I struggle to find something original to post about. I am not a creative person, so DIY posts are not my thing, nor is my house Home decor magazine worthy so that's out of the question. So as I pondered all these things and my place in the blog world I came to a realization. I started blogging for me. And for only me. I blog to keep track of memories, pictures, things we've done and things we've gone through. It's an outlet, my release and a way for me to continue to meet people that are experiencing the same things that I am. I read other blogs that speak to me, blogs that are written by friends I have made these past four years of blogging and that is enough for me
I may never have 1000 plus followers. I always have the best intentions of writing my posts down, proof reading them and tweaking them before hitting publish, but who am I kidding. I can't even use the bathroom alone, let alone blog uninterrupted. So the posts that seem so inspired and thought provoking to me may come across as a random jumble of word vomit to everyone else. Maybe one day I will have some place to go that requires dressing up and doing my hair so that I can post fashionable pictures. And maybe one day I will have time to actually learn how to use my DSl and edit my pictures before posting them on my blog. And maybe I can also sit down and read other blogs on my computer, rather than having to pull them up on my phone which makes commenting really hard, therefore making me unable to comment on most people's post. Until then I will continue blogging for me. To keep a memory of my kids, to vent about deployments, to meet other bloggers, to get inspired by what my fellow blog friends posts and to share with everyone what matters the most to me. My family and our adventures. So as I get back into the swing of things with blogging that is my goal. To stay true to me and to post about what matters to me.
Sorry for the random jumble of thoughts. Happy hump day everyone!