Monday, August 19, 2013

I was a perfect parent

I'm sure you've all heard this saying "I was a perfect parent until I had kids"
And it's so true. Before having kids I was an awesome parent. I could look at misbehaving kids in the grocery store, or at the mall or at a friends house and swear my kids would never be like them. I was going to have structure, clear rules and behavior that would be unacceptable. I mean c'mon, parenting is that easy right
And then I had my first baby. And I admitted I wasn't as much of an expert as I thought. Well as far as babies were concerned. Toddlers were another story. All they need is love, structure and discipline and I continued to parent friends toddlers while holding my sweet baby girl who would never misbehave.
Fast forward a few months and I have a toddler and a baby. Life just got interesting. Oh did I mention my husband was deployed. Throw in a colicky newborn, a tantruming toddler and nap schedules that never coincided and all thoughts of routine, structure and discipline went right out the window with the lack of sleep I was getting
And I started to notice that I was now the parent that was being judged. For everything! And people felt the need to constantly comment on things, or give me advice that I never asked for. Or my personal favorites, the passive aggressive insults masked as compliments
Or when friends with only one baby try and tell me how to do things with my toddler and baby. (Just you wait my friends, life with 2 is way different than life with 1) and my sweet baby that I swore would grow up to be a sweet toddler is a master manipulator, strong willed, Independent child who is constantly throwing me for a loop. And I have years worth of child education and development classes under my belt!
I swore to myself I would never ever again judge another parent. Sure, we are all going to do it. There are things that I do and believe in that my friends don't and vice versa. And that's ok! Because at the end of the day as long as you are putting your child first then that's all that really matters.
I believe that
- Breastfeeding is awesome
-formula is just as good
- you can never hold or spoil a baby. Hold them often
- routines work for some.
For others they don't.
- kids need to learn how to go with the flow as well as adapting to structure and routine
- yelling does not work when rationing with a toddler
- your way is not my way but either way is awesome
- moms should support one another, not dismiss others
- never compare your child to its siblings or other children. Every child develops differently and at their own pace
- 2 under 2 was hard. Extremely hard at first. But now it's getting easier and easier. I'm considering adding number 3 into the mix
- always let your children know you love them. That's all the really matters
- Parenting is a learning process
- Stop judging other moms. At the end of the day you are all struggling to get through and figure it all out for the well being of your children and yourself
- The perfect mom you see at the grocery store, the one all put together with her kids politely behaving really isn't as put together as she looks. She has her own issues just like you so don't down yourself or compare yourself to her.
I saw this on Pinterest and felt like it summed everything I've been trying to say up perfectly

My kids are awesome, well adjusted and loved. I may not have it all together and some
Days have no clue what I am doing but none of that matters. My kids are loved and are thriving. That's the most important
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

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