Monday, August 26, 2013
Lately I've been feeling overwhelmed and have felt the need to slow down our daily pace of life. One night a few weeks ago I was doing laundry after the kiddos had gone to bed. In my head I was getting angrier and angrier about the fact that I barely had had a moment to myself all day. The only thing I wanted to do that night was sit on the couch, turn on some trashy reality tv and have a glass of wine. Instead I stormed onto our front porch, ready to start yelling at my husband who sat there reading a book. Before I lost it I paused and thought about my day. At 9:30 that morning I took the kids to a playdate, ran errands afterwards, stopped at a friends for lunch and got home around 4ish where it was time to clean up quickly and start making dinner. Truth be told I had had plenty of me time that day. While my kids had fun at the playdate they probably would have preferred staying home and playing with each other or myself. They def did not want to be carted around on errands or to hang out at a friends house after being busy all morning. I had no one to blame but myself for my irritation at having to catch up on housework late at night. Since my husband left last summer I have filled my schedule with activity after activity. I am in a Mom and me group, a local mommy group, a military wives group, my small group at church, and Mops. I have something every day of the week. I loved seeing my calendar full of activities and hated having a day with nothing planned. And while all those activities are great opportunities for me to meet other amazing mommies, and attend play dates with the kids I wasn't feeling as fulfilled as I wanted to be. Not to mention that I wasn't leaving time for myself to clean, do things around the house or even work out. If I was able to cram all those things into my day I ended the day feeling frazzled and my kiddos and husband got my left overs. Instead of a fully present wife and mother, I rushed them around, tiring myself out and then played catch up trying to get everything done. I started to realize that although I spent all day with the kids, the quantity of time spent together wasn't as important as the quality of time. In a few short years they will both be in school, freeing up my schedule to do with as I please. Now though I feel like my time should be spent with my kids, one on one, creating memories, playing, and fully enjoying every moment spent with them. It amazes me how fast they grow up and I don't want to miss a single moment I also realized that I need to be more intentional with my friendships. It is not the quantity of friends but the quality. I want to be surrounded by people who make me a better wife and mother. That is important to me and while I met so many amazing woman in these groups that I'm in, being so busy and being involved in so many prevented me from forming deeper relationships with people and really getting to know them I never want my kids to look back and say that although I was with them at all times, I wasn't fully present. So from here on out I vow to put my kids first. I am stopping all activities except my Mops group and am going to focus more on spending quality time with my kids. If I want to go to the zoo, I will go myself. I don't need a group of woman and kids to go with me. If I want to stay home four days in a row and do nothing but play with my kids, read and catch up on housework I am going to do just that. So that's my goal. With my husband leaving again soon I want to concentrate on what's really important. And that's my family How do you all balance your time with everything?