Friday, August 9, 2013

Finding a Balance

Some days I feel that as a SAHM I'm busier than I have ever been. And usually I like being busy.  In college I took a full course load and worked 2 jobs. After I graduated and started working a full time job I also worked two part time jobs to help pass the time when my husband was deployed. And when the weekend rolled around I jam packed them with activity after activity. Even now my husband is always telling me that we can still spend quality time together hanging out at home. In fact I think his favorite thing about when I was pregnant was that I was so tired all the time that all I wanted to do was stay home and sleep!

After the husband left last summer I went crazy filling our schedule up with activities to help pass the time. I joined a new church, joined two small groups, served on the Steering Committee for our town's Mop's group, joined a bunch of Mommy groups and still made time to hang out with my friends. Every day we had something to go to. Some days we had multiple activities and although I swore we would stay home every night for dinner, some nights we had plans with friends for dinner. After Ethan was born I slowed down my schedule a bit but it didnt last long. Before I knew it I was back to all our activities. And for awhile it was fun. I met some awesome people, I love the church we attend and I really enjoy my Mops group. But right before the hubby came home in April I started feeling burnt out. All the running around with two kids was exhausting.

One of the things that bothered me the most about our crazy schedule was my "Me" attitude. After a day of running around from playdate to small group and grocery shopping I'd come home irritated that I still had to unload and put away all the groceries, plus clean the house and make dinner. While I was doing those things the kids would most likely be plopped in front of the tv and I'd be upset that I was so busy and could never sit down and relax. Yet I was the one that made this crazy schedule!

This summer I tried to cut back on activities but with school starting they are all resuming again. With the husband leaving again in a few weeks I know I will need some outlet for me to help pass the time but I am struggling with what to choose. I feel that the kids are at the stage where I should be taking them to do things on my own. Where we should be spending quality time together. After all who benefits more from a play date. The kids or myself. And who benefits from the bible study. The kids are in daycare when I go to those things and I don't feel that is fair to them. Plus if I want to go to the gym before bible study or a mommy group that just adds to the time they are in daycare.I feel torn. Do I need the me time or should I be using more of my time and effort in the time spent with the kids.

So my goal is to plan activities for two days during the week. Whether it is a playdate, story time at the library or my Mops meetings. After those two days the rest will be spent at home. I feel if I try to stick to that I will be more relaxed, the house will be cleaner, I will have less chores to do when the weekend rolls around and I will be spending more quality time with the kids.

What do you all think? How do all you SAHM;s balance out your time with your kiddos? Any advice?


  1. While I am not a stay at home mom, I am a school teacher so I am off all summer. I really like the idea of two days a week at home. This summer I felt really torn. I would plan a bunch of activities and we would run, run, run. Then I would feel like we are never home so I would plan some time at home. Next thing I know I am stressed out because we are "wasting" these beautiful summer days when I am off by just sitting at home.

  2. I think 2 days out will be a good balance for everyone. :) It will all work out.