Wednesday, December 30, 2009


1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before? I moved to North Carolina. Having grown up in Wisconsin and living there for 24 years, moving to a new state was quite a change for me
2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I didn’t make any New Years resolutions last year but this year I resolve to give up soda, save money and pay off debt.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Yes, two of my good friends gave birth and many more became pregnant
4. Did anyone close to you die? No, thankfully
5. What places did you visit? Punta Cana in the Dominican Republic, Myrtle Beach, SC and Charleston, SC
6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009? More time spent with just the hubby and myself. This past year has been all about changes and getting settled into a new job, new city, and a new life as a married couple. This year as we are finally settled, I would just like to take the time to enjoy our lives together
7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? April 1, 2009. The day I moved to NC. I will never forget the long drive from Wisconsin to NC and saying goodbye to my parents. As excited as I was to move, I was sad to leave my family behind
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? My job. After going to school for years and working in a variety of jobs, I finally found the job of my dreams!
9. What was your biggest failure? Worrying more about others than my hubby. I was so concerned with trying to make friends down here in NC,and trying hard to be friends with people who could really care less that I pushed my hubby away. I should have realized that he is my best friend and he is all I really need.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Thankfully we were both healthy
11. What was the best thing you bought? A new tv for my parents! They were so excited
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? M's def. He always puts me and our relationship first. I am saddened by how selfish I am at times and vow to work on that in the upcoming year
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? A woman at our church who takes advantage of people's kindness. Instead of using the money given to her by the church in order to buy christmas presents and clothes for her 6 kids, her and her hubby took a personal vacation.
14. Where did most of your money go? Our cars and getting things for our apartment
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? M coming home. He came home from a 9 month deployment in January. I couldn’t ask for a better way to bring in the new year. Next would have to be our honeymoon which we waited a whole year to take
16. What song will always remind you of 2009? Then by Brad Paisley
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Happier! I’ve learned a lot this past year and have really grown as a person. I look forward to seeing what the new year has to bring
b) thinner or fatter? After spending a week at home with our families, fatter!!!
c) richer or poorer? Richer! All we need to do is pay off some more debt and we will be set
18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Reading and enjoying time with the hubby
19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Complaining and stressing out about things I can’t control. Also having people take advantage of me
20. How did you spend Christmas in 2009? At home in Wisconsin with our families!
21. Did you fall in love in 2009? I fall in love more and more each day
22. What was your favorite TV program? Tori and Dean, Home sweet Hollywood.. Don’t ask me why
23. What did you do for your birthday in 2009? Celebrated with friends. I was still living in Wi during my bday and M was in NC waiting to go on leave so we spent our birthday’s apart. This year however, we have a lot of things planned and will finally be able to spend our bday's together.
24. What was the best book you read? Handle with Care by Jodi Picoult and Beyond the Blue Star Banner by Michelle Cuthrell
25. What did you want and get? My hubby to come home and for us to start our life together
26. What did you want and not get? We weren’t able to pay off any debt
27. What was your favorite film of this year? Every One’s Fine with Robert De niro. That movie really makes you think about and evaluate your personal relationships with others
28. Did you make some new friends this year? I did! I made a few great friends living here in NC. It is so nice to live near and meet other people who can relate to what we as military wives go through on a daily basis. I am so fortunate to have met the friends I did
29.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Paying off debt and living closer to our families. I miss my parents and niece everyday
30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009? I used to be very cute and fashionable. But now I work with kids and my wardrobe consists of any type of clothing that can get ruined. So basically jeans, a plain top, and flip flops. I’m always wearing flip flops
31. What kept you sane? My husband and my parents
32. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Johnny Depp. I love him
33. What political issue stirred you the most? Free health care and sending more troops into Afghanistan. I’m not even going to comment on my own personal views. I hate talking politics. I feel everyone is entitled to their own opinions and shouldn’t be made to feel bad about their own personal views
34. Who did you miss? My parents, my brother and my best friend in WI
35. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009. Don’t sweat the small stuff

To My Fellow Bloggers


Since I am new to the whole blogging thing, I am still trying to figure some things out. How can I make my posts in the middle of the page and have widges on both sides of my posts instead of just one side.

If someone could let me know I'd appreciate it


To Concieve or Not to Concieve

If you would have asked me 5 months ago when M and I were going to have children, my response would have been not for 4 more more years, when I'm 30. However, if you ask me now the answer is a little different

Let me explain. When M and I first got engaged we talked about whether or not we wanted kids. We both came to the conclusion that we would wait until I was at least 30 and then if it happened it happened and if it didn't, well it didn't. Don't get me wrong, I love kids. I work with kids everyday but as far as being a parent, that was something I was always on the fence on. Until recently that is

It all started in October, M was gone for training for a few weeks and I went to a good friend of ours birthday party for her son who was turning one. At this party, something just clicked, somehow I knew I was ready to have kids. When M came back of course I discussed this with him. The look of shock on his face was priceless. I'm still surprised he didn't run for the hills!

So I did what every other girl does who is ready to have a baby. We hung out with all of our couples friends who had children and I made sure to hold the babies, play with the kid's and make sure M saw all of this, hoping that seeing me hold a baby would make him want one. I think it just made him think I was crazy. It didn't help that all of my friends recently started getting pregnant. M was not too thrilled. After a discussion between us I agreed to wait a few more years

I am not as crazy as I'm sure I sound in this post. I know that children are hard work and not just some cute little accessory you can hand off to their parents. Trust me, as a behavioral therapist I've seen it all, the good, the bad and the ugly. I just finally came to that point in my life where I am ready to have kid's which is something I had never really considered before

And I def am not the type to throw away my birth control and trick my hubby into getting pregnant. I respect M's decisions to wait. I will be turning 26 in February, I can wait until I'm 30.

Plans changed after being home for the holiday's. After two days of spending time with our niece, M pulled me aside and said that he just wanted to wait a year and then we could try. He even announced this to our families. Kinda of embarrassing, but very exciting. Yesterday, after we arrived back in NC we had another talk about it and M discussed his fears of being a parent. He grew up in a household that wasn't very hands on in raising him or his sister and M is afraid he won't be a good parent to our child. M is amazing with kids. He will def be the fun parent!

So after officially deciding that in a year's time we will start trying for a baby. We made a plan. Our goal is to save as much as possible and pay off all of our debt. This year we are putting ourselves on a strict budget. I know we can do it! And as the self proclaimed nerd that I am, I went out and bought the book What to Expect Before Your Expecting. I am the type of person that reads up on anything and everything and will buy a book on just about every topic I am interested in so I figured I better start now!!!

Monday, December 28, 2009

Recap of our Week in Pictures

As I was uploading pictures to my computer from my camera, I decided to add some of my favorite pictures taken from Christmas

My parent's Christmas tree

The Hubby and I with our niece!

Our First Christmas Together

All of Us Cousins

My Family

The hubby, My sister in law, my niece and myself on Christmas Day

Our First Christmas

We finally arrived back in NC about three hours ago after another long drive. Looking back on the past week, I cannot believe how fast the holiday's went by. In a way I am sad but also excited about what the new year will bring.

I am very thankful to have had my husband home for the holiday's this year and that we were finally able to celebrate our first Christmas as a married couple. I am also very grateful that we were both able to get off of work and drive home to visit our families and friends. It was so good to see everyone and be able to spend time with them.

I am blessed to have such an amazing husband and this Christmas is one I will never forget. Our week was full of activities, from meeting with family and friends for numerous lunches and dinners, going to Candy Cane lane and seeing all the houses decorated for Christmas, gift shopping for our family members and just being able to spend time together with no distractions. I will forever be grateful for that.

My hubby surprised me with a very thoughtful gift this year. As I have mentioned before we got married down in Key West, Florida. Our photographer's took a picture of us along the main strip, Duval Street in front of a popular bar and grill, Sloppy Joe's. The painter Thomas Kincade had just come out with a painting set in Key West which featured Sloppy Joe's in almost the exact angle as our wedding picture. At the time, after paying for a wedding we were unable to afford the painting. This Christmas however, my hubby found the painting on sale and purchased it for me. I am so excited and already cleared off room in our living room to hang the picture. I can't wait until it arrives. Above are the mentioned pictures!

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Away We Go

Tonight is my last night in Wisconsin. Tomorrow we head back to North Carolina and I can honestly say that I don't want to go back. Work, school and just life in general make it easy to forget about how much I miss home when I'm in NC. But after coming back home and falling right back into place with our families and friends makes me sad to go back

As enjoyable as it was to spend Christmas with our families, it was very hard to split our time between all of our family members and friends. I wish I could have spent more time with my parents and brother. I wish that I could have slowed down time and made this past week go by as slowly as possible. I wish I could have gotten more time off from work. After visiting my grandparents, seeing my cousin who is pregnant with twins and talking about wedding plans with my other cousin, I realize how much I am missing out on at home.

Last year at this time I was impatiently waiting for my hubby to come home and for us to finally start our life together. This year I am not looking forward to going home. I feel selfish for not wanting to go back, that I shouldn't take any time with my hubby at home for granted, but at the same time I don't want to be away from my family

As I laid in bed last night, I cried for hours. I wanted to prolong today as long as possible but as we had plans with three different members of our families, today just flew by. I am dreading all the goodbyes we have to make tomorrow and the look on my parents face as we drive away. As excited as I was to come here and visit everyone, I never thought about how I would feel after we left to return home. I have never been good at goodbyes, and I am the type to compartmentalize my feelings. Instead of telling everyone how I feel I push them away. Luckily my family knows I do this and don't take it personally but that is one thing about myself that I want to change. If there is anything I learned this week, it is this.. You cannot let life get in the way of things and that spending time with family and friends is more important than anything else.

I cherished all of our time with family and look forward to when we can come visit them again. On the plus side, it will be nice to have some alone time with my hubby :)

Thursday, December 24, 2009

I'll Be Home for Christmas

My favorite Christmas cd by far is Noel by Josh Groban. My favorite song on the album is I'll be Home for Christmas which has messages to and from the troops intermixed in between the verses of the song.

Last year at this time M was deployed and every time I listened to this song I would be reduced to hysterical fits of sobbing. This year even though M is home the song still makes me cry. After experiencing a deployment during the holiday's my heart goes out to those who are not with their spouses this year. I can remember the feelings of sadness, anger, and loneliness I felt on Christmas even when surrounded by my family. All I wanted was my hubby to be home and I knew that was impossible.

No one should be separated from their loved one's during the holiday's but as a Military wife spending the holiday's alone is a fact of life. In the end it is what separates us from the civilian world. Us spouses know what it's like to be away from a loved one, we know what it's like to worry, to wait for every phone call and to not take the little things for granted. To those spouses who are away from their loved ones this year, I wish you a Merry Christmas and wish I could give you the strength and courage to get through this day. My thoughts and prayers go out to you all and I wish that next year you will be with your spouses on Christmas

To the Soldiers, I want to thank you for your bravery and commitment. I pray you have a blessed and safe Christmas and I pray also for your safe return to your families.

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

A Christmas Vacation

Who would have thought that a week would not be enough time to see family and friends. We have only been in Wisconsin for two days and have the rest of our weeks planned. Already our families are complaining that they aren't seeing enough of us. Here is our crazy schedule.

Today-Spa day with my mom. Then out to dinner with M's aunt and uncle

Wednesday- Lunch with the in-laws. Class and Dinner with my best friend and her hubby

Thursday-Christmas Eve: Heading to my grandma's in the morning as it is to hard for her to leaver her house. Dinner at my parent's house with my dad's side of the family. Then off to midnight mass

Friday-Opening presents at my parents, then heading to my sister in laws to watch my three year old niece open presents. Headed to the in law's for dinner

Saturday- Visiting my first kiddo I ever worked with as a behavioral therapist. I cannot wait to see how far my kid has come in the past year! Then spending our last night in town with my family

Sunday-Lunch with the in laws and then heading home

We have a crazy few days ahead of us. But so worth it to see our family and friends!

Monday, December 21, 2009

Bah Humbug! School needs to be over!!

As I sit at home with my family and hubby in Wisconsin you would think I would be spending time with them and relaxing. Wrong

I am studying and taking exams for school. I am currently enrolled at the Florida Institute of Technology working on my Applied Behavior Analysis Certification. The program is broken down into 3 courses each consisting of 7 units. The first course I loved and passed with flying colors. This course however is proving difficult. It is all about graphing, taking data and interpreting data. This is not my strong suit and since I take the classes online, it is very hard for me to learn the material the way they present it. My instructor is dry and boring so when he lectures on such dry and boring material my ADHD kicks in and I start zoning off.

When I started this course I didn't think it would be a problem. M was going to be away for 2 months training so I figured I would have all the time in the world to work on school. However I had also just picked up hours at work and my work week now consisted of Monday-Saturday's 8am-7pm. Having to watch over 30 videos a week for school, each over 30 minutes long was becoming impossible. Two weeks after the course started M returned. This decreased my motivation for school even more. Throw in moving into the mixed and I was one stressed out cookie.

I thought things would calm down after the move but getting ready to come up to Wisconsin and trying to finish up things for work before hand continued to make actually doing my school work impossible. To make matters worse, I have an exam today, an online meeting the day before Christmas and 15 videos to watch by the end of this week. Doesn't FIT know that it's Christmas and that this week should be spent with family.

Being a military spouse, I know how precious time is. Last year for the holiday's my hubby was deployed. This year we are finally together, for our first Christmas and I am doing school work. I'm up in Wisconsin visiting my family who I haven't seen in almost a year and I'm studying. I am one pissed off military spouse and when it comes time to write up my course evaluation it is not going to be a good one.

When a school makes you choose them over spending time with your loved ones, I chose my spouse and family. You never know what next year may bring, M could be deployed, working on the holiday's,or we may not get leave to visit our families. So I am going ot enjoy every precious minute spent with my Hubby and family. I guess this means I will be getting up extra early just to watch the video's and cram in studying but what's more important to me is spending time with the hubby and finally spending our first Christmas together. FIT needs to get their priorities straight! I cannot wait for this course to be over

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Home for the Holiday's

We are finally home in Wisconsin after spending more than 24 hours in the car!

Having grown up in Wisconsin and living there my entire life I was beyond excited to move to North Carolina with it's warm climate and to escape the cold, snow, slush and crud. However the warm weather got old fast when in August and September the weather continued to get warmer and warmer. This snow bunny was ready to bust out my cute boots and gloves! I really started wishing it would snow in NC the day after thanksgiving when I started preparing for Christmas. I got the tree out, put up decorations, started baking christmas cookies and cuddled on the couch and watched a White Christmas with the hubby. All that was missing was the snow.

So as it got closer and closer for us to leave to go to WI for the holiday's I was beyond excited. I went out and bought a new hat and gloves and couldn't wait to see some snow. Just our luck that the day before we leave, northern NC, Virginia and West Virginia got hit with a huge snowstorm and to make matters worse, this was in our direct path of our route home. I worked until 2:30 yesterday afternoon and after getting home and watching the weather reports we decided to leave. We packed up the car, gave the dogs a mild sedative for the ride and set off.

We plugged in our destination into the GPS and our estimated arrival time to hit Wisconsin was 6am. Perfect! We made good time until we reached West Virginia where we were told at the first poll that traffic was going to be held up due to the roads being cleared of wrecks. We hit the bad traffic at around roughly 830pm. We sat at a standstill in the mountains of West Virginia until 1:30am. After being forced to listen to Blue Collar Radio and to Larry the Cable guy tell countless jokes about poop, farting and his sister Rolly Polly, I was ready to strange my hubby with my scarf and set off on foot. Finally traffic let up and we exited the interstate to fill up our tank with gas. The roads were awful off the interstate, none had been plowed and there was no gas for more than 50 miles around. We had more than half a tank so we got back on the interstate and started off once more. We made it until about 3:30am until we couldn't drive anymore. The wind was blowing snow and we didn't want to take any chances. After sleeping in the parking lot of a gas station, cramped in our honda civic with my hubby in the driver's seat, me in the passenger seat and our two 70 pound dogs in the back seat I was ready to get home.

We got back on the road about 7am and finally reached Wisconsin at 4pm. Joking with my husband I said that if we could survive spending 24 hours in a car with each other we can survive anything!!

I am very grateful that we made it home safely and can't wait to start the festivities of our holiday season. And I have to report that we left the snow in NC. There is hardly any snow on the ground here in WI so I am keeping my fingers crossed that we will end up having a White Christmas after all

Friday, December 18, 2009

A NewlyWed Christmas

This Christmas is very special to me as it's our first Christmas together as a married couple. Tomorrow we leave for Wisconsin where both of our families live. We are excited to be going home, as M hasn't been home for the holiday's in two years and I'm still getting used to living far away from my family

M and I decided not to exchange gifts this year and instead save up our money so we could go on a trip for our birthday's coming up in February. However, I decided that on my quest to create the perfect Christmas and start our own traditions, I wanted to get M something he has been asking for and then surprise him on Christmas morning when we are opening up gifts with my family

I knew M wanted a Craftsman tool set and a shop vac. Since I am your typical girly girly, I called my Dad for help who thankfully went shopping for me! I was ecstatic. My Christmas surprise for M was going according to plan.

However, yesterday as we were figuring out how much money to take to WI and how many more Christmas gifts we needed to buy an argument arose. M's check is direct deposited on the 1st and 15th of each month. Mine is sent in the mail so it takes a little bit longer. Our bank allows us to do a deposit from home but only to M's account. Normally we use M's check to pay the bills and mine is used for groceries and things we need and then we split it up between the two of us for gas and such. However today M decided to keep all the money in his account so he knew how much we had going into the long drive home and he could budget out our trip. I asked for some money which led to him asking what it was for. I was shocked, it was my paycheck after all and he never questioned what I needed money for. That's why we have two separate accounts and split up my check. So basically as we argued over money and what I needed it for I ended up having to tell him I owed my Dad for picking up M's Christmas presents.

After revealing what I needed the money for I became your neurotic, emotional wife, I started crying and complaining that our first Christmas was ruined and it was all his fault. Over the top I know, but I really wanted this Christmas to be special. Was it so wrong that I tried to keep something a secret?

I realize that he was just trying being smart with our money so that when we get to Wisconsin we can do all the things we want to do and he also knows that when my Mom and I get together we shop till we drop. At the moment however, I didn't want to hear any reason. I was mad and I was going to pout about it

After this fight we did what everyone says not to do. We went to bed angry. I hate sleeping next to my hubby when we are both laying as far away from each other as possible and trying our best not to touch each other. I didn't sleep at all. This morning however, we were able to resolve our fight and communicate like two rational adults instead of like two 5 year olds.

I realize that M is anxious to go home as it has been two years since his last visit and he his excited to see his family.Tensions are also high due to the fact that we have two families we have to spend time with and plan our time accordingly between the two so no one gets hurt. It shall be interesting to say the least. My parents try to monopolize our time and so does his. When we get back we will probably need a vacation after a vacation

As things have calmed down between the hubby and I, I am still excited for Christmas and the celebrations and traditions that we will be creating together as a couple and with our families. And we still have the matching pajamas to wear on Christmas morning!!

Thursday, December 17, 2009


My husband and I have officially been together two years this month. December 2007 was when we had our first date, went on our first trip to Vegas and spent our first Christmas together.
This year December has even more meaning to me now that my husband will be home for the holiday's. It was hard last year celebrating the holiday's when you are newly married and your husband is deployed. As much as I love my family and friends, they were no substitute for my hubby.
So this year I am going all out.I took the tree out the day after thanksgiving, I bought us brand new Christmas stockings and celebrated St. Nick's and I even bought us matching pajamas for us to wear while opening gifts Christmas morning. I also make my poor hubby suffer through every Christmas movie imaginable. Starting with a White Christmas. Luckily he has been a good sport about it and we are looking forward to finally celebrating our first Christmas together as a married couple!

A Solider's Christmas Poem

The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.
Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
Transforming the yard to a winter delight.

The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,
Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.
My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.
In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,
So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.

The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,
But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.
Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know,

Then the sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.
My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,
And I crept to the door just to see who was near.

Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.
A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,
Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.
Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,
Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.

"What are you doing?" I asked without fear,
"Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!
Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,
You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!"
For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,
Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts..

To the window that danced with a warm fire's light
Then he sighed and he said "Its really all right,
I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night."
"It's my duty to stand at the front of the line,
That separates you from the darkest of times.

No one had to ask or beg or implore me,
I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.
My Gramps died at ' Pearl on a day in December,"
Then he sighed, "That's a Christmas 'Gram always remembers."
My dad stood his watch in the jungles of ' Nam ',
And now it is my turn and so, here I am.

I've not seen my own son in more than a while,
But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile.
Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,
The red, white, and blue... an American flag.
I can live through the cold and the being alone,
Away from my family, my house and my home.

I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,
I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.
I can carry the weight of killing another,
Or lay down my life with my sister and brother..
Who stand at the front against any and all,
To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall."

" So go back inside," he said, "harbor no fright,
Your family is waiting and I'll be all right."
"But isn't there something I can do, at the least,
"Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast?
It seems all too little for all that you've done,
For being away from your wife and your son."

Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,
"Just tell us you love us, and never forget.
To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone,
To stand your own watch, no matter how long.
For when we come home, either standing or dead,
To know you remember we fought and we bled.
Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,
That we mattered to you as you mattered to us."

Recap/About Me

Since I am new to this whole blog I decided to write about past events to catch everyone up.
So from now on I'm going to focus on current things going on in my life instead of talking about past events.
Here is more information about me...
-I am a 25(soon to be 26) year old Army Wife. I have been living in North Carolina for 8 months now. My husband who I shall call "M" has been home for these past 8 months and life couldn't be better. We are finally starting our lives together enjoying being newlyweds finally. We are looking forward to celebrating our first christmas together and will be going to Wisconsin to celebrate the holiday's with our families. This will be M's first time going home in 2 years so we are looking forward to seeing everyone
-I am a proud mom to two fur babies: A black lab named Kenzie and a yellow lab named April.
-I am a behavioral therapist who works with children with autism. My job can be challenging at times but every one of my kiddo's hold a special place in my heart
-We recently moved into a new apartment and are enjoying decorating our home together
-I love reading and will read just about anything. So if anyone has any suggestions let me know
-I am addicted to shopping and need my husband to monitor me at the mall!
-I love finally being able to be a wife. I love cooking and cleaning and getting things for our house. All those little things we missed out on during our first year of marriage when M was deployed
-My favorite thing to do is curl up with the hubby and watch movies
-I love chinese food and could eat it everyday
-I need to start working out more but work and school have been crazy these past few months
-I miss my family and friends back home but love my life as a military wife and wouldn't change it for the world

North Carolina Here We Come!!

About a month before my husband returned from his deployment I started making plans to move to North Carolina where he is stationed. I found us an apartment, put notice in at my job and started packing up my things to move. I couldn't wait to start our life together
During M's deployment I started watching the show Army Wives along with reading the book. So I imagined wives from the FRG to be waiting at our door, welcoming me to North Carolina. I also imagined that these women and I would become life long friends and life would consist of group functions and girls nights when the men had training. This was not to be the case.
I was shocked when no one greeted us at our door. I was also shocked to find out that M's unit had disbanded their FRG. Where were my new best friends, how was I going to meet people, what happened if M had to go away for training. How was I going to handle living by myself. I was terrified. I had just left my family and friends, moved 2000 miles away and wanted to turn the car around. Finally I got myself out of the car, gave myself a kick and told myself that if I could handle a deployment, I can handle anything.Why was I worrying about meeting people when my best friend was finally home? As hard as it was to move away from my family and friends, I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. My favorite quote which sums up military life for me is "I cast my lot with a solider and where he is is home to me". After my initial shock of realizing that my new life wasn't going to be like an episode of Army Wives, I settled in just fine.
Now 8 months later I am fortunate enough to have made some amazing friends,North Carolina finally feels like home and I give thanks everyday that my husband is home and we have been able to spend the majority of this past year together.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Dear Deployment-You suck

My husband deployed a month after we got married. To say I wasn't prepared for a deployment was an under statement. I had no idea what to expect or what it was going to be like. Since I had my family, friends, job and school in WI I decided to stay there during the deployment.At first it seemed like the best option. I threw myself into work. I picked up two more jobs and basically worked from 8am-midnight. I was always working when my husband called and that created problems. Looking back I realize that I had been on auto-pilot, going through the motions and counting down the days till my husband came home. Now I realize that as I was coping I was also pushing him away and not being the support system he needed.
Friends didn't help the matter much. When my husband and I would argue, I would turn to them for support but since no one had ever experienced our situation they had little advice. TO them our fighting and being apart was bad news for an early marriage .Any little fight we had my friends turned into a big issue. Instead of being supportive and trying to understand, they would criticize us and our relationship. "You should have waited to get married, you guys are not going to last. "I had one friend start researching annulments. All this just created even more for my husband and I to fight about. My family didn't help much either. Don't get me wrong they were a huge support system for me but were always trying to get in our business.
The worst of the deployment came about a month before he came home, Right around this time last year. We had had a huge fight and ended up saying things we didn't mean and I thought that we were over. I dreaded the days until he came home. Things between us were tense and on edge. I drove down to North Carolina wandering how things would be between us. I now know I had nothing to worry about. The minute we were back in each other's arms all was right with the world.
If and when my husband has to deploy again we are more prepared. We learned from all of our mistakes and now can look back on that experience and laugh. We now know that all that happened made us stronger and that if we can handle a deployment we can handle anything. Sometimes the best things come out of the worst things in life. As much as I hated this past deployment in a strange way I treasure it. Our marriage, relationship, and us as individuals were tested in a way that not many ever have to experience. Knowing that we made it through something like that, not only made us grow as a couple and as individuals but it made us stronger.

Planning A Wedding-Military Style

My husband proposed in Jan 2008. We knew that he would be deploying shortly and set about trying to plan a date for our wedding. We first talked about waiting until he got back from his deployment and then getting married but after a morbid discussion led by my husband we decided to get married beforehand.
One of my first lessons as a soon to be military wife was that everything constantly changes when it has to do with the army. My hubby's deployment date moved from June, to May, to April. Planning our wedding proved to be difficult. I grew up Catholic and my church refused to marry us unless we went through pre-marital counseling. Since it was the beginning of Feb we didn't have time for that. My family then tried to push us to wait as they already thought we were rushing into things but we had our hearts set on getting married before he deployed.
In the beginning of January we had gone on a trip to Key West, Florida and while laying out on the beach witnessed a beach wedding. It was beautiful! So one night for shits and giggles, we looked up weddings in Key West. Within an hour we had our wedding coordinator, flowers ordered and the location set up. It seemed too good to be true. We set the date for April 11, 2008 as we had finally heard from my hubby's Captain that that weekend he could guarantee that the hubby would have off. We broke the news to our family and friends expecting people to be happy and excited. Instead we received the opposite. Many of my friends whose weddings I had stood up in enjoyed being a part of, disapproved. My parents thought I was being careless and stupid and refused to support our wedding. What should have been a happy time turned out to be more stressful than I ever expected. In the end we realized that no matter how. where or why we got married, we wouldn't make everyone happy.
We decided to go through with our plans and sent out the invitations. Both my parents and his came down for the wedding. Along with our siblings, best friends and my aunt and uncle. It turned out to be the most amazing day of our lives, more so than we ever expected. I truly am blessed to have married my best friend and soul mate
I can't believe that our two year anniversary is coming up. Looking back I realize that all of my parents disapproval had more to do with not feeling included in the plans than not being supportive of us. I think they would have liked more time to get adjusted to the fact that their only daughter was getting married. They also knew that once my hubby got back from his deployment that I would be moving away. They only saw him as someone taking their little girl away, not as someone who made their little girl happy. I'm sure my husband and I will feel the same way when we have our own daughter one day. Now my parents love my husband and truly see how happy he makes me. The past is the past and we have all moved on from that and are now really close.
I will say that when you are planning your wedding, in the end, all that matters is you and your husband. It is you two who will be starting your new lives together, it is you two that for years to come will be looking back and remembering your wedding. Make it something special for the both of you, do something that makes you happy. You can't please everyone and it is your day. No one else's.

Friday, December 11, 2009

The Finnegan's

My husband and I have been married for almost two year. We have a very unique story of how we met and I thought it would be fun to share it. I had been working for Police Dept in the city I grew up in when a fellow co-worker and friend of mine needed to create a myspace account so that she could keep in contact with her brother who was currently deployed overseas. I helped her create an account and as he and I were her only friends we added each other to be funny. This turned into simple comments and messages over myspace but I didn't think much about it until her and I planned a trip to Las Vegas. She then asked if her brother could come as he would be back from his deployment. How could I say no to a solider returning from war. I agreed and the simple comments and messages turned into long emails and a few phone conversations. When he came into town around Thanksgiving, we met and hit it off. For about a month after this meeting we exchanged constant text messages, emails, and phone conversations. I was falling for this guy. Then came our trip to Vegas. A few days before we left we went on our first official date. It was amazing to say the least. Vegas was a blast and somehow I knew I had found the person I wanted to be with. Luckily he felt the same way! Shortly after we got engaged and were married a total of 4 months after we met. Many thought we were crazy but we are happier than ever and never have had any doubts that we are the ones for each other