Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Planning A Wedding-Military Style

My husband proposed in Jan 2008. We knew that he would be deploying shortly and set about trying to plan a date for our wedding. We first talked about waiting until he got back from his deployment and then getting married but after a morbid discussion led by my husband we decided to get married beforehand.
One of my first lessons as a soon to be military wife was that everything constantly changes when it has to do with the army. My hubby's deployment date moved from June, to May, to April. Planning our wedding proved to be difficult. I grew up Catholic and my church refused to marry us unless we went through pre-marital counseling. Since it was the beginning of Feb we didn't have time for that. My family then tried to push us to wait as they already thought we were rushing into things but we had our hearts set on getting married before he deployed.
In the beginning of January we had gone on a trip to Key West, Florida and while laying out on the beach witnessed a beach wedding. It was beautiful! So one night for shits and giggles, we looked up weddings in Key West. Within an hour we had our wedding coordinator, flowers ordered and the location set up. It seemed too good to be true. We set the date for April 11, 2008 as we had finally heard from my hubby's Captain that that weekend he could guarantee that the hubby would have off. We broke the news to our family and friends expecting people to be happy and excited. Instead we received the opposite. Many of my friends whose weddings I had stood up in enjoyed being a part of, disapproved. My parents thought I was being careless and stupid and refused to support our wedding. What should have been a happy time turned out to be more stressful than I ever expected. In the end we realized that no matter how. where or why we got married, we wouldn't make everyone happy.
We decided to go through with our plans and sent out the invitations. Both my parents and his came down for the wedding. Along with our siblings, best friends and my aunt and uncle. It turned out to be the most amazing day of our lives, more so than we ever expected. I truly am blessed to have married my best friend and soul mate
I can't believe that our two year anniversary is coming up. Looking back I realize that all of my parents disapproval had more to do with not feeling included in the plans than not being supportive of us. I think they would have liked more time to get adjusted to the fact that their only daughter was getting married. They also knew that once my hubby got back from his deployment that I would be moving away. They only saw him as someone taking their little girl away, not as someone who made their little girl happy. I'm sure my husband and I will feel the same way when we have our own daughter one day. Now my parents love my husband and truly see how happy he makes me. The past is the past and we have all moved on from that and are now really close.
I will say that when you are planning your wedding, in the end, all that matters is you and your husband. It is you two who will be starting your new lives together, it is you two that for years to come will be looking back and remembering your wedding. Make it something special for the both of you, do something that makes you happy. You can't please everyone and it is your day. No one else's.

1 comment:

  1. Wow, very similar situation to me and my hubby! We met and got engaged in 5 1/2 months, then married 3 months later. My fam was pretty shocked and my Mom was pretty upset too b/c she barely knew F and we wanted to get married in my Pastor's office. I changed my mind and let my Mom plan my wedding but she had to agree to a few major things I wanted (well didn't want). It ended up being at their house and 40 people and it was perfect! And of course now they LOVE him!