Tonight is my last night in Wisconsin. Tomorrow we head back to North Carolina and I can honestly say that I don't want to go back. Work, school and just life in general make it easy to forget about how much I miss home when I'm in NC. But after coming back home and falling right back into place with our families and friends makes me sad to go back
As enjoyable as it was to spend Christmas with our families, it was very hard to split our time between all of our family members and friends. I wish I could have spent more time with my parents and brother. I wish that I could have slowed down time and made this past week go by as slowly as possible. I wish I could have gotten more time off from work. After visiting my grandparents, seeing my cousin who is pregnant with twins and talking about wedding plans with my other cousin, I realize how much I am missing out on at home.
Last year at this time I was impatiently waiting for my hubby to come home and for us to finally start our life together. This year I am not looking forward to going home. I feel selfish for not wanting to go back, that I shouldn't take any time with my hubby at home for granted, but at the same time I don't want to be away from my family
As I laid in bed last night, I cried for hours. I wanted to prolong today as long as possible but as we had plans with three different members of our families, today just flew by. I am dreading all the goodbyes we have to make tomorrow and the look on my parents face as we drive away. As excited as I was to come here and visit everyone, I never thought about how I would feel after we left to return home. I have never been good at goodbyes, and I am the type to compartmentalize my feelings. Instead of telling everyone how I feel I push them away. Luckily my family knows I do this and don't take it personally but that is one thing about myself that I want to change. If there is anything I learned this week, it is this.. You cannot let life get in the way of things and that spending time with family and friends is more important than anything else.
I cherished all of our time with family and look forward to when we can come visit them again. On the plus side, it will be nice to have some alone time with my hubby :)