As Gianna sat eating her favorite lunch, my homemade chicken and dumpling soup, I took the time to wash up the lunch dishes and explain to her that after lunch it would be time to take a nap.
She shook her head and slowly kept eating. After she finished, I picked her up and gently washed her hands and face. I carried her into the living room once again telling her it was nap time. I spotted her baby doll lying on the floor, put her down and told her to go get it. Instead she flopped dramatically across the couch, sighing in exasperation. I picked up baby for her, took her hand and walked her to her room
I changed her diaper, laid her in her bed and pulled her mermaid comforter up to her chin. I paused, waiting for her to pat the pillow next to her asking me to sleep with her or for her to start crying or beg me to read her a story. She didn't. So I offered to read to her. No mommy. I asked if she wanted me to lay with her. No mommy. Good night
I slowly peeled myself off the bed waiting for her to change her mind and ask me to lay with her. Ok waiting isn't the right word. More like wishing
I got to her door and turned around giving her one more chance to ask me to lay with her. Instead she smiled and waved telling me good night
I walked out of her room, feeling sad yet happy. Since she turned 2 we have been having to lay with her until she falls asleep both at nap time or at night time. Funny how when she needs us to lay with her I sometimes get annoyed due to the million things that need to get done during nap time. But when she doesn't need me anymore, I need her.
As I walked out of her room I realized that life from here on out would be full of these moments. She is past the age of needing me for everything. She is starting to get more and more independent and wanting to do everything on her own. While this makes me happy and proud it also makes me sad. For it won't be long before she's hitching a backpack over her shoulders and walking into school for her very first day, or dancing at her first ballet recital, or going to middle school, going on her first date
So while at time moments of motherhood can seem frustrating, they are oh so fleeting and most likely you will wish you had Savored the moment or could relive them all over again
And that is my goal to my children. To be more present in their lives, to savor each moment with them Instead of hurrying through it to attend to my to-do list of housework that will always be there. To just be.
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