Deployment #2 is fast approaching. M leaves in less than two weeks and the time is flying by. I wish I could say we have been spending every single moment together but that is not the case. Last week I had the flu bug that is going around, this week M is sick and yesterday we had to rush our dog to the vet because I came home to blood stained little presents all over the house. I am happy to report that my dog is doing a little better and it is M that is the sick one in the house.
When we first learned of this deployment the estimated time was 6 months. Now they are saying 3. M's last deployment was supposed to be for 6 months and it turned into 9 so I am going to plan on 6 months so I won't be devastated when he doesn't come home in 3.
Our first deployment was very difficult to say the least. M left a month after we were married and to say I wasn't prepared was an understatement. With all the wedding planning and getting everything organized I barely focused on the approaching deployment. We even started off the deployment on the wrong foot. I wasn't even there to see M off because his deployment date had changed and I had no vacation time to take to be at the airport with him. Let me remind you I was staying in WI at this time and he was leaving from NC. I will never forgive myself for not being there.
One of our main issues during this deployment was lack of communication. I was working at the city's Police Dept. My hours were 3pm-12am. M normally woke up between 10-11 our time and would try to call. Since my job was to mainly answer phone calls and take reports I couldn't really tell the citizen on the phone, I'm sorry that you are getting raped right now but can you please hold while I talk to my hubby who is calling from Afghanistan. At first M was understanding but after a few months of hardly talking this got old very fast.
M also had some trust issues that I had to deal with. M had been married before to a woman who cheated on him with one of the guys from his unit. To say he had some trust issues is def the truth. I felt like I was constantly bearing the brunt of some other girl's mistake. It was awful
Besides our lack of communication and trust issues, it was hard to have a marriage over the phone. Especially a marriage that was just starting out. We had this whole relationship to build as man and wife and we weren't able to live and be with each other like most newlyweds.
Our relationship really hit rock bottom when M went through a few difficult experiences over in Afghanistan. I didn't know how to be there for him and it seemed that no matter what I did, it wasn't right. I would then get frustrated and upset and then M would become frustrated and upset. I also would expect things from M and when they didn't happen become sad and lash out. The time that we actually spent talking was probably mostly spent arguing.
When it got closer and closer to M coming home I was afraid of what was going to happen. Would we make it, would things be weird, did we make a mistake rushing into getting married. All those thoughts disappeared when I saw M for the first time in 9 months. We immediately started crying and apologizing for everything that had happened. We spent the rest of the day talking about everything. It was then I knew we would be fine.
This past year and a half that M has been home has been amazing. Our communication has improved greatly. Whenever we have a problem we immediately discuss it and work it out. From the past experiences during his deployment we have learned a lot. Our respect for each other and our understanding for each other has grown. We are stronger because of everything we dealt with during his deployment and even though I am sad M is leaving I know we can handle anything. As bad as the first deployment was our love for each other is much stronger and we won't let anything get in the way
SO bring it on Deployment #2