Tuesday, March 2, 2010

I'm Already Gone

Today I rushed to Barnes and Nobles to pick up this..

I love Jodi Picoult's books. For those of you who have never read her she wrote My Sister's Keeper which was then turned into a movie with Cameron Diaz. Last year I read that she was working on a book about someone with asperger's syndrome. Today that book was finally released. As many of you know I am a behavioral therapist and work with kiddo's along the autism spectrum.I am looking forward to how she portrays the someone with asperger's in her novel. In the reviews I read some people complained about the way she portray's the family members of this child so I can't wait to read this and form my own opinion. Tonight I am taking a break from work and school tonight to just lay on the couch and start reading this book!!

On another note, I hate the days leading up to a deployment. We both know that are days together are limited and even though that makes us sad, in a way we are ready for M to leave. M has been walking around the house the last few days in a zone. After literally talking to him for ten minutes yesterday without any acknowledgment I became upset. M snapped out of his trance, apologized and explained that he had so much to do before he left that half his mind was already gone and the other half was figuring out everything he needed to do before he leaves. I can understand that for sure. I switch between being sad and commenting on the amount of days left together, to crying about him leaving, to just getting irritated about anything and everything he says and does.Some days I just want to snap and tell him to leave already. I know that sounds awful but sometimes the days leading up to the deployment are harder. You have this constant rush of ever changing emotions and as much as you want to push away the thought of him leaving, it's in the back of your mind at every minute. I am fortunate however that he will only be gone a few months

Two things I am really looking forward to when M leaves is
1. Sleeping in our bed..by myself!!! This may seem odd, especially since I hate sleeping alone and have a hard time falling asleep but after sharing a bed with a hubby and two 70+ labs I am excited to only have to share it with the dogs for awhile. With M home, the dogs sleep on my side of the bed, leaving me smushed up against them and M, while M has the whole other half to himself. Talk about back pain

2. I can't wait to watch tv until I fall asleep. While M was deployed the last time I fell asleep by watching movies. I love laying in bed with the tv on. Nothing can put me to sleep more. However, M hates falling asleep with the tv on so we never watch tv in bed.

So as silly as those two things sounds I figure it's better to look at the positive's of this upcoming deployment rather than the negatives.
After all, I'm an army wife. I can handle anything


  1. You are so right...you can handle it! And it is so much better to be looking at the positives and I think sleeping in your bed alone is a great positive :) I like sprawling out in my bed too haha!

    It is so hard to know that he is leaving because like you said every little thing bothers you and sets you off whether it be crying or anger or whatever! And all you want to really do is be happy and soak him in as much as you can, but it's just hard!

    You are strong and you've done it before. You can do it again. Let me know if you need anything or if you need someone to listen...you have been so helpful to me!

    P.S. I looooove Jodi Picoult books so I am very excited to hear your review of this one!

  2. Oh my gosh I LOVE Jodi Picoult, she has some amazing books. I agree with you about the days leading up to deployment they were definitely awful with mood swings and both of us struggling as I felt like I deserved attention as I was pregnant and he felt like he deserved it all because he was deploying. With us we are the complete opposite, mr soldier needs to fall asleep with the tv and i cant stand it so i am enjoying peace and quiet in the bedroom!

  3. We haven't gone through a deployment yet, but I can imagine how hard the time preparing for it will be. You sound like you have the most positive attitude possible... keep smiling!

    I'm so exicted to see Jodi Picoult has a new book out. Thanks for sharing, it's on my ever-growing list of books to read!

  4. I fall asleep with the tv on but have to set the sleep time so it does not wake me up later in the night.
    I love Jodi Picoult. I have read quite a few of her books. Her stories keep me interested and itching to find out what happens next!

  5. I also picked up that book today! I'm looking forward to finishing the other 15 that I have, but haven't read yet so I can start it.

    And I thought I had it bad with two cats in bed with me. Two 70+ labs? You win.

  6. I always sleep with the tv on...but like Jenn I always set the Sleep on it so it will go off after a whil and not wake me up! And definitely can't imagine 2 big pups in bed...it's hard enough with my 20 lb pup sometimes!

  7. I know you will miss your husband, but it's good that you are focusing on the positive. My husband usually gets home from work after I've already gone to bed, and I love having the bed to myself as I fall asleep (with the TV on too!).

  8. The pre-deployment stress is almost as bad, if not worse, than the actual deployment!! Hang in there!

  9. A new book by Jodi?!? I have to get to a bookstore pronto!!

  10. I love the last line... you CAN handle anything! I think I've used that before, I'm an Army girlfriend, I'm used to change... or something like that.

    I definitely don't miss the stress of the days leading up to P's deployment. I do miss having him here to cuddle with though! Hope that things go smoothly the next few days and you can enjoy your time while he's gone.

  11. I adore jodi picoult I read the 1st chapter of this book a few months back on her website and was so wrapped up in the move and bing on leave that I forgot it came out until I saw it at target yesterday and made my hubby buy it for me