Light at the End of the Tunnell

This past week has been beyond stressful. At many times during the day I had to control myself from literally having an emotional break down. I hardly talked to the hubby and have spent my nights waiting for the phone to ring. This causes me to not sleep or have nightmares when I do and I can barely get out of bed in the mornings to go to work.

Besides stressing out about not hearing from the hubs, I had a huge exam coming up this week. Since friday I have been studying for this exam non stop. As I've mentioned in the past I work Saturday's all day from 8-3 leaving class and homework till sunday's. I seriously dread the weekends. It has been months since I've had a free day to myself. By Monday I was ready to say screw studying, I don't care if I pass the exam. Since this is for my career and the class a stipulation for my job, failing the exam wasn't an option. So I studied and studied. I should mention that I am the world's worst test taker. I over analyze questions and think too much and therefore put down wrong answers. I knew that with the pressure of this exam that I was going to have to work at not over analyzing everything. So starting Friday, I didn't allow myself to watch any tv, answer any phone calls that weren't work related after 4pm and forced myself to study all night long. I was going to ace this exam come friday and be done with school officially.

I studied all night last night and went to bed feeling overwhelmed. I didn't hear from the hubby which once again increased my anxiety and once again I found myself forcing myself to go to work this morning. Well along the way to work I got stuck in traffic, putting me fifteen minutes late. I was driving in a 45 zone and not paying attention to the signs. Since it was 8:15, I thought I was out of the school zone and even if I wasn't that the zone hours ended at 8am. So down the street I go doing a nice and fast 52. Well I look in my rearview mirror and see not one but two cop cars with flashing lights chasing me down the street. I immediately pull over to the right side of the road, which I thought you were supposed to do. At least that's law in Wisconsin. Well the cop pulls out his blow horn and starts yelling at me to pull in the middle lane. How embarassing. So here I am in the middle lane of traffic, with two cop cars behind me. All for speeding. So the first officer comes out of his car and I hand him my license and registration. I give him my age and DOB and he tells me I was going 52 in a school zone. Then he turns and off he goes to his car. Well he comes back to my car about 5 minutes later telling me that I am not giving him enough information and that my date of birth isn't on my license. As someone with a bachelor's in criminal justice and many family member's on the police force back home I had to restrain myself from asking the cop where he got his degree. Because on my license the DOB is highlighted and printed in big red bold words. So I point it out to him and he still doesn't see it and says I need to start giving him information. I calmly point it out again, he writes it down and hands me my citation. Explaining that I don't have to go to court for this incident. Well as I'm driving away I look at the price of my ticket. $30.00 for the violation and $130.00 for court costs putting me at whopping $160.00. I guess here in NC you have to pay court costs even if you don't have to go to court and if I were to take it to court or hire a lawyer I'd only lose the ticket fee and still have to pay the court costs. Awesome

So off I go, crying and blubbering on my way to work. I whip out my iphone and email my hubby a very mature message explaining that I got a speeding ticket and that if he's going to be mad at me to not call. I know, how awful am I .

Well after my first client I had a huge break and headed home to calm down and study some more. As I was studying the information, I realized I wasn't retaining anything and that the more I studied the more confused I was going to get. So I called up the learning center where I was getting my exam proctored and moved my test appt from friday to today. I didn't think I was going to pass at all. I was so nervous. The test consisted of 180 multiple choice questions and in order to pass the class I needed a 70%.

Well an hour later, I was finished and received my score. An 85%! I passed!! I have my life back! I can now relax on the weekends, spend time with friends and not have to worry about studying or taking exams. This will be the first time I'm not in school since preschool. No joke.

Now I am off to have a glass of wine, read a little bit of Behind the Blue Star Banner by Michelle Cuthrell and sit back and watch season 2 of Army Wives!

Oh and friday, in place of taking my test I am treating myself to a hair appointment. Life is good. Now I am just awaiting a call from the hubby and my day will be complete