The hubs and I also had a long distance relationship starting from the day we met till the day we got married. Other than 2 weeks when he was on leave for Christmas we took turns flying back and forth between NC and WI every weekend. The week after our wedding was the longest time we had spent together consecutively.
We were married in Key West Florida on a Saturday and enjoyed two extra days down there before flying back to NC for a week. I had yet to move to NC since we only had a month left until M deployed so I planned on spending a week in NC, then M would fly back with me to WI for his week's leave and then I would come down the weekend he left. I remember flying back from Florida giddy with excitement about being husband and wife. Needless to say our first few days as newlyweds were rough.
M had to go back to work that week and even though he was scheduled for half days, it didn't really work out like that. The first day back M left for work and I was stuck in his apartment. I had no car and knew no one in NC and to make matter's worse M had a roommate who had a girlfriend and kid who were always over so it wasn't like I could make myself at home in the apartment. I spent my whole day laying around in M's room reading and napping. By the time he got home from work I was so bored. We also had no food in the house since we had flown in late the night before so when M walked in I jumped on him saying let's go eat, let's go do something. M had a different idea. He was tired and just wanted to stay in. When I mentioned how bored I was M snapped. I was told I could have done the laundry or made dinner while waiting for him to come home.
My immediate thoughts were, seriously we have been married 2 days and already your complaining about me not cooking and cleaning. This led to a huge argument and we went to bed angry. The next day I got up and was determined to be a good housewife. I did all of his laundry and walked the 3 blocks to the nearest grocery store where I stocked up on a week's worth of groceries. Too bad I had to push that cart all the way back in 85 degree heat up a hill. But I did it. I then planned to make a nice meal since M was going to be home early. I prepared the food and put it in 5 minutes before he was due home. An hour went by, then 2, then 3 and he still wasn't home. When he finally came home I waited for a big hug and kiss thanking me for all the wifely duties I had done that day. Instead I got a I'm tired. I want to take a nap. Ugh. I was frustrated. Once again we were in an argument instead of spending our night in bed like most newlyweds!
Eventually we resolved things and looking back I understand that now with the wedding being over, the stresses of an upcoming deployment were rearing their ugly head. Luckily we were able to enjoy the rest of my week in newly wedded bliss before enjoying another week together in WI. So when I saw my friends break out into an argument, I couldn't help but feel a little relieved that M and I weren't the only newlyweds that fought!
Thank you for this post!! I couldn't stop laughing, your first week of married life sounds just like mine! I also had no car and was sooo bored and walked a horribly long way to the grocery store to get stuff for dinner (even made 3 trips one day back and forth because we had no food in the house and I couldn't carry a lot at once)! And the hubby ended up working til 10 or 11 every night that week! So all the food went right from the stove into the fridge or freezer! Haha After that I stopped trying to cook hot dinners! :)
ReplyDeleteWhen you first get married it is so stressful, to not fight wouldn't be human! It's a time of so many changes. Luckily we can learn and grow from that and look back and feel happier than ever :)
ReplyDeleteWe got married in Key West too! My husband is Air Force, not Army, but he came home from work like that ALL the time as well. Our first couple weeks of marriage we were lucky enough to be on vacation with our families so it was enjoyable, but as soon as we got moved and settled in the stressful nights began. Right now he's actually on "swing shift" as he calls it and its helped with our stress levels SOO SOO much. I prefer to do stuff during the day with him, watch my shows at night without him complaining how much they suck, and we can both go to bed late together and sleep in together. Its pretty awesome. I'm not looking forward to the day he has to go back to regular hours!
ReplyDeleteI am glad to read we weren't the only ones!
ReplyDeleteYou don't know how relieved I am to know that so many couples were already fighting the first week the way that my hubby and I were. My husband also had a roommate, and one morning I got up super early determined to clean the entire house before the guys came home.I worked so incredibly hard on the house (I swear I cleaned the whole house with dishwashing soap). I was so excited for what I anticipated to be a wonderful surprise for them and big hugs for what a nice wifey I had been.. WRONG. It was like they didn't even notice. To top it all off they had stopped by the damn Jack In The Box on the way home and so graciously picked me up a chicken sandwich stuffed with lettuce and mayonnaise (2 of the only things that make me sickingly nauseas at the thought of) which led to me getting ruthlessly lectured about how I was an ungrateful bitch by his roommate.
ReplyDeleteI honestly just stared at them and started crying like a baby. BUT like I said it's nice to know that it doesn't mean my marriage is doomed for failure :) Whatever, perfection is so boring anyways :)