The hubs and I went out to dinner with a newly married couple last night. They had just gotten married and she just moved to NC last week. During dinner she was asking me how easy it was to make friends in town, what things they are to do, etc, etc. I thought back to my first few days as a milspouse and all the misconceptions I brought along with me
M deployed after we were married and I stayed in WI with my family. So I missed out on all the spouse's activities that went on when I was away. I communicated only with the FRG leader through email or phone calls but that was about it. So when M came back and I finally moved down to NC I was very excited to "officially" be a military spouse.
I am not afraid to admit I thought life as a military wife would be just like an episode of army wives. I expected a big welcome when we rolled up to our apartment with all M's friend's and their wives. We would immediately hit it off and be life long besties. That didn't happen. Only one guy in M's unit was married and since he took a different position once he got back from his deployment there was no corresponding FRG. No outlet for me to make friends. We also lived off post that made it a little difficult to meet people
Even with no FRG or other wives in the unit, I was not deterred. I just knew finding milie besties would be easy. I had read about and heard about all the get together's various unit's put on. Bake sales, cook out's, friday night girl's nights. Wrong again. Most of the event's put on by M's unit were kid friendly. Since we don't have kids(yet) we didn't attend. Scratch that idea
So I turned to facebook and myspace. I met a group of girls on myspace who had planned a get together at a local restaurant. I went and found I had nothing in common with these girls. I was the oldest one by years and was snubbed because I worked.(I know this is not always the case, I'm just relaying my experience with the first group of girl's I met down here) I was told point blank that my place was at home with my husband
So back to facebook I went. I made a few friends in my apt complex and also met a few more girls off facebook. Finally I thought I had a good group of friends. Nope, that group was nothing more than a high school clique. With girls pulling their husband's rank, talking behind others backs, one day being mad at so and so and the other day being her best friend.I couldn't take it. It was drama filled and overwhelming. At 26 I was way to old for that.
Luckily I did end up meeting a great group of friends. Our hubby's have all worked together in the past so the guys and us girls all get along. We joke we are each others adopted families and already have plans for holiday celebrations.
I have adjusted to life here in NC living in a military town and have made great friends. Thinking back I have to laugh at how naive and innocent I was when moving here. Military life wife is not like an episode of army wives thought I wouldn't trade if for the world!