Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Please control your children!
You know that joke, I love kids, just not other people's kids. Well that is totally true!
Okay I'm kidding but sometimes it's true. All of my friends here in town and toddlers or grade school age kids. My best friend has a newborn but she lives a half hour away so we are unable to get together as often as we'd like. I spend alot of time with my friend who has a three year old and while that worked out great before Gianna was born now things are different.
They spend a lot of time at my house and while I don't mind I feel like I'm constantly patenting the three year old.
Yesterday she was over and I caught her climbing on top of Gianna's bouncer while Gianna was in. After repeatedly telling her no she continued whole throwing a ball in Gianna's face. I tries so hard to stay calm but I was aggravated. My friend did nothing
Instances like this happen alot when we get together. One day the three year old smeared cupcakes all over my tv, broke my Christmas decoration and kept sliding across my coffee table like it was a toy. Again all while my friend did nothing
I feel like I'm constantly saying no, don't touch, please don't pick up Gianna constantly. And my friend gets mad at me for doing that. She's constantly reminding me that one day I'll have a toddler and will need to be more patient!!
Another friend of mine also has two toddlers who act the same. They first met Gianna when she was a few days old. My friends toddlers found their way to Gianna's room and crawled into her crib and played unbeknownst to me. I found them and Gianna's crib bumbers torn and ripped from her crib. Did I mention her crib set was 300 dollars
Another time when out with those kids the little girl licked her hands and rubbed them all over Gianna saying she needed a bath. I grabbed Gianna and indeed gave her one.
While I know that I'm prolly paranoid and anxious when others come around my baby, it's hard not to be.
I was talking with a girl I met today who also has a baby Gianna's age and she was saying the same thing. All her friends have older kids and she hates how they act around her baby.
Is this normal? Do I need to lighten up? Anyone else experience this
I do truly love kids. Hell I want three more. I just don't like the way kids can be around babies. Correction I don't like how parents just let their kids run wild and not parent them!
I remember as a kid if I did something wrong all I'd need was the look from my mom and I knew I was in trouble. None of this having moms friend tell me to stop doing something repeatedly while mom did nothing
Ok I'm done venting. And I swear I'm not a horrible person. I can tell my friend is a little irritated when I tell her child to stop doing something but in my defense it is things she shouldn't be doing
Advice?
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Well, toddlers will touch EVERYTHING. They are curious little beasts and its a fine line of letting them learn or break everything in sight. I always picked it up to show my son and let him touch with 1 finger. It was normally enough to kill the curiosity but sometimes he needed 5 or 6 reminders. Don't touch that please!!! You'll find yourself saying that A LOT more when Gianna is a toddler. I do NOT let my 3 1/2 yr old misbehave anywhere. I am always attentive to what he is doing or touching and I expect my guests to do the same. My BFF is so oblivious to her kids misbehavior sometimes that I often say something before she does and then she does something about it. But it seems like its only because I said something first and she gets embarrassed. Its certainly not ok to let kids act that way in public or friends houses. I think its important we teach them to be respectful as early as possible.
ReplyDeleteEven though I don't have children yet, I agree with you. Your friend needs to understand that yes her child is a toddler but it is your home and it should be respected.
ReplyDeleteAmen to Jen! I too don't have children, yet, but it really can't be that difficult to control your child! If it is, maybe you should get a sitter before visiting friends! Wow. It usually strikes me as laziness, and then pisses me off.
ReplyDeleteYou're not over sensitive or paranoid. Continue to be a good parent to your child. Maybe you'll rub off on your friends
I have toddlers. They touch everything. However, at someone else's house I do not allow them to touch the baby much less climb on them. Nor do I allow them to break the other person's thing. I personally would not bring my toddler to someone's house that only had a baby. There would not be toys there to play with and the house would not be toddler proof. Maybe you could suggest that you hang out at your friend's house or at a mall playground or something?
ReplyDeleteI notice now that my kids are older if my friends bring their toddlers here they just expect me to want "baby time" so they do nothing. Which in turns makes me do everything-ummm sorry I have 4 children already- no thanks. I usually say after about the second time when I see a pattern forming to the parent " excuse me so &so please know that I don't like thta being touched could you s=ask your child name do not play with it"- thanks. Usually it only takes me saying something one time directly to the parent to catch their attention to stop a behavior. Ihave even been known not to invite certain friends over anymore if I know the kids must come. You can do playdates outside your house-in a public place. This I've found really makes the parents have to be more responsible for their own kids.
ReplyDeleteToddler or no - children shouldn't act that way in other people's houses! It's one thing for them to misbehave in their own home and get away with it and another for them to do it in someone else's home. I'd be MORTIFIED if my kids ever did some of the things you described {and the first one isn't even here yet!}. I think that Amanda's approach would probably work best - just address the issue with the parent instead of trying to parent someone else's child in front of them. And then if it continues anyway, just don't have them over to your house.
ReplyDeleteI would be so embarrased if my 2 year old did that to a baby (I have a two year old and a 5 month old). I understand you don't catch everything but I would of told my child no the first time and watch him to make sure he didnt do it again. I don't think you are being silly at all, I would be the same way. And to your friend who says you will have a toddler one day and understand, um no...I have both a baby and a toddler and that behavior would not fly with me.
ReplyDelete