Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Some may say she's a Dreamer


Where do I begin with this child. I love this girl with all my heart but these toddler years are no joke. Every day something happens that has me questioning her, myself, my parenting, you name it! I have bookshelf upon bookshelf of parenting books in my search to find a how to manual but one hasn't even come close.

For the most part Gianna is an amazing child. She is intelligent, hysterical, loving, caring, and generous. But she is stubborn and a horrible listener. And she always acts as if in a dream land. During story time, while the other kids are sitting nicely by their moms Gianna is up walking around the room. NOt being loud or disruptive, just hanging out. At boo at the zoo, Gianna was miles ahead of my dad and I, walking off in her own little world. When we go for walks she is always lagging behind, picking up leaves, playing in the sand, etc. She only wants to do what she wants to do when she wants to. Not when someone else asks her to. It is so frustrating

 As I've seeked out advice or have been offered it I am told differing viewpoints on a daily basis. I need to be more structure with her, more consistent, hold her up to a higher standard, clearly express my expectations and views, talk to her like an adult and so on and so forth. They all make my head spin!

Could I be more structured, of course! Could I be more consistent, yes! Should I hold her to a higher standard. Sure! But where do you draw the line. At what point am I making excuses for her or just factoring in that she is only 2.

Let's be honest. I could be more structured and consistent. But with a dad that is always coming and going Gianna also needs to be go with the flow. And I try to hold her to a higher standard but at the end of the day she is only 2. I don't know what standard is too high. I try and make my rules consistent and firm but that isn't always easy. I try and reason with her like she can fully understand me but that is easier said than done. If she is horrible at listening how can I get through to her in the first place. And is this all something she will grow out of?

So many thoughts on parenting this one lately that while researching strong willed children I came upon the description of a dreamer child

 Your child may be a sensitive dreamer if: he forgets to follow instructions, no matter how clear and simple, she craves praise and positive attention, yet refuses to conform to what's expected, he tells more than his share of fibs and tall tales. If you recognize these actions in your child, you know the frustration of turning to parenting experts for advice only to find the systems don't work, the rules don't stick and strong boundary setting makes the situation worse. The creative-sensitive dreamer is not the strong-willed child. Get this book and learn how to parent your special needs child who is principle -oriented rather than rule-oriented, highly creative, overly sensitive and frustrated at a world that fails to live up to the ideal.
Excerpt from HERE

In all the parenting books and personality quizzes I took on Gianna the only area she ever comes across as strong willed is in the stubborness category. I was shocked when I read this description of this dreamer child and of how much it sounds like Gianna. I of course ordered the book that the excerpt was taken from and am anxiously awaiting it's arrival. Maybe it will have some clear examples of the best way to discipline and be consistent with her. And who knows, maybe her listening and being unruly will just be a phase but I figure it never hurts to learn as much about your children and do what you can to truly understand them


  1. She is a precious growing girl and she will be such a free spirited and strong willed person but that is what makes her unique and special. :)

  2. This is a really interesting (and sometimes difficult to deal with) concept. I feel like this could describe my little man, who seems to math to the beat of his own drummer. Thanks for sharing- I will have to check it out!