Motherhood

Motherhood can be exhausting, frustrating, tiring, tedious, boring and  more. But on most days I truly believe being a mom is all rainbow and unicorns. Words can not describe what it truly means to be a  mom and there are some moments that just make your mommy heart swell. It's those moments that make you realize that the sleepless nights, long days and endless cleaning and refereeing toddlers  truly worth it all.

There is something about the holiday season that just brings up a rush of such moments. But more often than not, it's the little everyday moments that matter the most. The other day I went for my usual walk with the kids. Ethan in the stroller and Gianna walking around in dreamworld, pointing everything out to me. Moon, tree, door, Nana's house, you name it. Then she stops, walks next to the stroller, look up at me and goes,  I love you mom.
I couldn't even respond for I had tears rolling down my cheeks. Of course Gianna has said I love you before but it has always been when she's about to get in trouble or in response to me saying it to her. This was the first time she said it and truly meant it. The first time she wasn't prompted to say it. My heart swelled. Anything that had happened that day just washed away and I wished I could have stayed in that moment forever

One of the saddest parts about being a mom is that your kids grow up and time goes by so fast. Of course you don't want them to grow up but at the same time it is amazing watching them grow and change. This was so evident when we went to the pumpkin patch this year. I drove up to the pumpkin patch and experienced such a strong feeling a deja vu that when I looked over at Gianna I was surprised to see my 2 year old instead of the baby I had pictured in my head. I can remember taking a baby Gianna to the pumpkin patch for the first time and then last year  a little Gianna, barely walking along while I struggled to heave my very pregnant self into the wagon for the wagon ride. Now this year I have two adorable toddlers. They amaze me every day and it is still shocking how they change so quickly. I know next year when I take them back to the pumpkin patch or any other holiday activity we engage in year after year I will always be reminded of the first time I did those activities with them and be shocked when I realize how big my children have grown in a year

I wander if my parents do the same thing. If as they go through their daily routine do they stop and remember what it was like with two kids underfoot. Messing up the house or making so much noise they couldn't take it. I wander if when they look at me with  my kids if they still see the little girl in pigtails playing with her baby dolls. And I wander if they wish they could go back in time and do it all over again

I want to hang onto these moments as much as I can for really life is about making memories and making things count with the ones you love. And I can't wait to continue making new memories with my children. And as much as I wish I could slow down time or relieve Ethan or Gianna's baby years I would miss out on all the growing up they do and the amazing ride that makes up motherhood of watching your children grow