At my Mops meeting a few weeks ago we had a woman come talk to us about the game us mothers play. You know the one, the one where we compare ourselves to other mothers
I am so guilty of doing this. I am constantly comparing myself to other woman. And beating myself up about those comparisions. I feel guilty when a friend talks about how her family only eats raw fresh veggies for each meal while I think back on last night's dinner of Kraft mac and cheese. I walk into a friend's house for a playdate and wander where she hides all the toys and how she finds time to clean. I hate going into beautifully decorated homes and thinking back to my own living room which is decorated in family pictures. My guest bedroom is a mishmash of stuff and my guest bathroom is decorated in monkey's.
I have come to realize that there is always going to be a mom that is skinnier, prettier, healthier, craftier, godlier, more patient and so much more than I am. And some days that can really get me down. It is so easy to focus on what you wish you had or could do than to be thankful for or appreciate all the good things we do have
And don't get me started on how social media adds to my comparison game. I can spend hours on pinterest looking at beautifully decorated homes knowing that my house will never look that, nor will we have the money to buy a lot of the homes I pinned. Or it's so easy to log onto instagram or blogger and feel that other people lead more interesting and exciting lives than I do. All the while dressing in all the latest fashion and doing all these amazing things with their kids and then having the time to go home and fully edit all their amazing pictures they took
So while we were talking about all of this within my discussion group the speaker made two very valid points. She said that instead of focusing on what others have in comparison to us we should put a positive spin on it.
Instead of focusing on one woman's amazing house and getting down about it we should realize that maybe cleaning and organizing is her gift and that is something that comes easy to her. Or the mom who feeds her kids five course organic meals, that that is her gift. She loves making healthy meals for her family and it is important to her. And all the crafts that that crafty mom does with her kids were things that she thought up of on her own. That is her gift
And instead of getting down on ourselves about not being the crafty, organized, skinny mom we should realize that we all are different and unique and our gifts are all different and unique.
I have been really trying to focus on that instead of getting down on myself when around other people who have a gift I don't excel at. At mops for instance since I am on the steering team I have to bring food a lot of times to the meeting. Well I am not a fan of cooking, let alone for large crowds so I usually end up at the drunkin donuts drive through line while other moms make these amazing breakfast casseroles. Some days I let that nagging voice get me down about my crappy donuts as compared to a breakfast casserole but now i am more accepting and understanding of my gift as compared to others
I may not be as crafty, skinny, or pretty as others.My kids may eat mac and cheese and hot dogs more than I'd like and I may use the tv as a babysitter while I set about cleaning my house since I do stink at organizing and maintaining schedule but that's me and I'm ok with that. My gifts are not going to be the same as others.
But how boring would this world be if we were all the same. I am learning more and more to appreciate my differences and to not get down on myself about things I lack or think I lack in comparison to others. I feel as I continue on my journey as a mom I get more comfortable within myself and learn to love myself alittle more each day.