Since becoming a mom I've noticed a slight change in friendships that were established pre-baby.
When I was pregnant with Gianna, my two closest friends and I still hung out constantly. We met for girl's nights out, had weekly BBQ's with our hubbies and talked constantly. Since having Gianna things have changed.
Gone are the girls nights out, the frequent phone conversations and our weekly get together's. True some of this is due to distance. We all live about 40 mins apart in here in Fl but that doesn't change the fact that the change hurts any less. When one girl in the group got pregnant as well I was so excited. I couldn't wait for baby play dates and having a friend to meet up at the park with. But her experience with motherhood was a lot different than mine and not what I had envisioned.
Moving to a small military town also added to the feelings of loneliness. Living here some days is like being back in high school with the cliques and cattiness. One day so and so hates this person, the next day they are best friends. Keeping up with it all makes my head spin and like I did in high school I chose to distance myself. I can't stand drama and catty girls and if that means hanging out at the house by myself with baby girl to avoid it all I do not care
Don't get me wrong. I have plenty of friends here in Fl and am starting to learn that quality over quantity is what's important. Since becoming a mom I've noticed slight changes in how I view things as well and have become more picky about who I let into my life and around my daughter. I am after all her first role model and I want to be a good one. I also am fortunate to have many blogger friends that I text or email on a daily basis. Can you all move by me so we can hang out please! I swear I tell my blogger friends more than I do my friends here in town. Funny how that works out. And if I tell my husband one more time "My blogger friend this..." He is going to scream. He just doesn't get it
I have joined a few mommy groups which have been great and I know that when Gianna gets older and starts participating in school and sports activities I will meet more people that way.
Until then I plan on enjoying all my time with Gianna and hanging out with my close girlfriends. Because even though weekly girls nights may be outta the cards, monthly one's aren't
Have any of you noticed your change in friendships? What has been your experience
I don't think any of our husbands get the bloggy friends. Mine doesn't, but he tries. He has also realized that I've actually made real life friends when those bloggy friends have moved to our duty station or vice versa. As far as friendships, lots of people don't get the parenting thing if they haven't been there. Those that try to understand and are still there are the true friends. Sorry to say, but the rest get weeded out with life. I still deal with this. You'll make the mommy friends. They'll be the ones that you only socialize with if your kids are along, but that's ok too.
ReplyDeleteMy husband is also in the military and I have found the same thing with the wives. And yes I have found established friendships start to change over time. It hurts, but have faith that they will come back. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteI'm definitely in the 'my husband doesn't get the blog friends' boat. I'm also in the 'I hate the high school BS found in a lot of people who are way too old for it' boat.
ReplyDeleteI just went through something similar, and let me just say that I feel SO much better no longer being friends with those people. I have enough to deal with, I don't want a replay of high school.
I don't have kids, but I'm happy to hang out after we get to FL (we just found out we're going there after his korea tour).