Hello everyone! Sorry I've been MIA. It has been a crazy week. It's been so nice to have the hubby home and to get settled back in our routine. However it's been a rough week at work and needless to say I am so ready for a vacation which happens to start on Tuesday!! YAY! Two whole weeks of bliss with the hubby
Now on to something personal. Right before the husband deployed, a week before to be exact I was supposed to start a new form of birth control. The nuva ring to be exact. All my friends warned me that it was hard to put in at first and many needed the help of their hubby's. SO instead of trying the ring I decided to just go off birth control during the deployment. Just in case I had problems getting the ring in or out. I would have been mortified if I wouldn't have been able to do so. It's not like I could call a friend to come help me put it in and I couldn't imagine how embarassed I would be if I went to the Dr and explained I needed her to take the ring out for me
Anyway during the middle of the deployment M and I decided to start to try for a family once he got back. However in the last few weeks I had decided that I wanted to wait. I don't know why. I'm more or less just afraid of pregnancy and delivery and all that can go wrong. I am ready for kids and I know M is too. I just wanted to wait.
My monthly friend was due 5 days ago. It had not appeared this morning. As someone who charts and is always regular I was concerned. I highly doubted I was pregnant especially since the hubby had just come home last week. But then the hypochondriac in me kicked in and I started convincing myself I was one of those freaks of nature that get pregnant a few days before her friend is set to begin. My mom convinced me it was due to stress but I don't by that. Since the hubby has come home I've been the least stressed in a long time. So then I started worrying about why I wasn't getting in. I also wasn't sure if now that all traces of my birth contril were outta my system my cycle was starting to change.
The hubby was thrilled. He wants a kid so bad and I think was secretly upset when I changed me mind. Today he was telling the dogs that in 9 months they would have a baby brother or sister. You know men, they pay no attention to the exact way or time a woman can get pregnant. But they way he talked about it was so cute.
I on the other hand was petrified. I wasn't ready, I'm afraid to get pregnant, there's no turning back. So this morning off I went to target to buy a pregnancy test, I rushed home to pee on a stick and anxiously waited keeping my fingers crossed that it said not pregnant. When the not pregnant sign appeared instead of being happy I burst into tears. Who would have thought that deep down I was hoping it would say yes. I swallowed up my disappointment and threw away the test.
A short time later my friend appeared. How random is that. I think that this is God's way of showing me that we are ready. I picked up my phone, texted my hubby and said Ok, I'm ready. His response, Be serious. I replied that I was. I could feel his excitement through the phone. So once again we have decided to start for our family
Was anyone as indecisive as me? I swear I change my mind daily!!!