A few months ago I picked up the book Faith Deployed by Jocelyn Green. I had many people recommend it to me and I also am a fan of her on facebook along with following the Faith Deployed blog. However I didn't actually start reading the book until today. With anxiety setting in regarding worrying about when the hubby will be home and just dealing with the day to day stresses of life, I felt a need to reflect and take time to myself
Now for those of you that know me, you know I rarely do this. I am always on the go. I work 12-13 hour days and spend my nights either running errands, cleaning or making plans with friends so that I am never actually alone. Tonight was probably the first night in a long time that I didn't have any plans and even still I didn't get home till 7:00 since I worked late today. Many people would probably think that getting home at 7 is late but for me the 4-5 hours until bedtime seemed endless
Even my hubby has commented on the fact that I never take time out to relax. I set endless tasks for myself and only give myself a day to complete them, beating myself up until they are finished. If you read my post on my anxiety and high bp you can understand that all I am doing is making myself sick
So tonight, after I cleaned my house from top to bottom and indulged in a glass of wine I decided to crack open the book Faith deployed. And what amazed me the most is how God finds ways to speak to you. Sometimes you have to look and listen very hard to hear what God is saying to you and sometimes he just slaps you upside the head. The very first page was about the Gift of Solitude and how many people keep themselves so busy that they cast solitude aside. Even though I was avoiding my loneliness I was casting time away to reflect and be present with God. And I agreed with everything the author had wrote. I did cast away time for myself, I did try to avoid my feelings and loneliness and I did cast God away. And for what. High blood pressure, stress and anxiety. Something needs to change and that starts now. Thank you God for the wake up call!
And for those military spouses out there that haven't picked up this book, I highly recommend it.