When I found out I was pregnant again when my baby girl was barely 7 months old I was beyond shocked. When I found out we were having a boy I was slightly disappointed. I mean I could raise a girl. It took no effort to envision my little girl in a pink leotard and tutu dancing in her first ballet recital. Or having mommy daughter dates that consisted of shopping and pedicures. And later on dress shopping for life's major events such as prom or her wedding.
What was I supposed to do with a boy. I am not a sports person, in fact I hardly tolerate football and boy clothes just did not have the same appeal to me as frilly skirts and onesies for baby girls
I admit I moped and sulked until about 27 weeks. Everytime we saw little one on the monitor I secretly wished his P had turned into a V. It hadn't. Of course this whole time I realized it wasn't the fact that I was having a boy that bothered me. It was the fact that I was afraid of raising a boy. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to relate to him and would have a closer bond with Gianna than I do him.i was terrified of loving her more than him and of playing favorites the rest of my kids lives
I shouldn't have worried. The moment I finally got excited about having a little man was during a shopping trip to carters. I went crazy filling my cart up with onesies decorated with footballs, monkeys, puppies and anchors. I, who once refused to buy my son anything with a monkey on it started an a session with sick monkeys and anything jungle theme related. I had a blast finding bedding for his room and cracked up finding Star Wars theme decor to go along with the bedding I picked
Now I find myself getting excited buying football pacifiers or train sets for my little man. Yesterday I declared we had too many princess movies and not enough boy movies so today I'm off to pick up movies for my little man
And as far as relating too or loving him less. Impossible. He made me so complete. In ways I never thought possible. I look at my little family and feel so blessed. His addition to our family has made my heart whole.
I now can easily envision hours spent building blocks and playing trains with E. and later on taking him to football or soccer practice and being that obnoxious soccer mom. Van and all.
I am so blessed.
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