I got my first job when I was 15 and by the time I was in college, besides taking a full course load I worked 2 pretty much full time jobs. I've always been the sort of person that likes to be kept busy and I usually thrive on having a full schedule. I hate opening up my calendar and seeing a day without an activity or something to do
When I became a stay at home mom I vowed to never be one of those moms who did nothing all day and who never left their house. ( I soon learned that there is no such things as a SAHM who does nothing all day, regardless if she leaves the house or not). But still I filled up Gianna and mine's schedule with play dates, story time, music class, epen gyym etc etc so that we always were out and about doing things. I convinced myself that we were spending quality time engaging in those activites and that staying at home all day meant I was lazy.
Staying busy also helps the time pass when the husband is gone. He knows of my incessant need to fill our schedule up that when he was able to come home on weekends he would beg me not to make plans or map out every minute of our day. To me relaxing on the couch all day is not spending time with each other or the kids
Howver I now have two children. Venturing out of the house is more difficult than before. Even simple things like playdates gave become a nightmare. I can't fully give G my attention since E is always crying and begging to be held, and when I do put E down he screams. With him being sick these last few weeks he has become even more clingy and I've been staying at home more. Plus all our weekly activities have been put on hold until next week due to the holiday season
And... I don't miss any of our activities. Sure I miss my friends, but they still come over and we hang out while the kids play or we set up coffee dates one day a week. For the first time in a long time I don't have my whole week crammed with activities. And I love it. It's so nice to just get caught up on housework, not feel pressured to be one place at one time and another place at another time. If I don't want to shower and get dressed I don't have to and if I don't want to clean the house one day I can push it off to the next, The kids are less anxious when we are home and I spend plenty of quality time doing nothing with them. Gianna loves to be at home with me, showing me her toys and cuddling with me on the couch and E is so happy and smiley when we aren't rushing from place to place. I even have started to read again. I've read two books in a week. That is a record for me and I feel less stressed in general.
Next week when all our activities resume I may consider dropping some. Sure I love my mommy and me group but who is the one benefiting from it. Gianna or myself. Sadly I think it is myself. Gianna gets plenty of social interaction that cutting one play group a week isn't going to matter at all. And if I do plan or schedule activities I am only going to schedule them for the morning or early afternoon. After noon that becomes full family time. The only exception being the small group I signed up for at church which is every wednesday night. That will be the only night during the week that we are out, and I will leave that morning free for the kids and myself.
I am enjoying just relaxing at home and spending the time with my kids. Plus I get more mommy time when I'm not out running errands and taxing kids from playdate to playgroup. And as for the messy house, the kids and I are too busy making memories. That load of laundry can wait!