A Glimpse into my future

After four and a half years of being a military spouse I've sort of become used to the fact that my husband is always coming and going. Don't get me wrong I hate when he leaves and miss him terribly everyday but I've learned to stay busy and get involved in things to make the time he's gone go by fast

Since having Gianna I feel it's been easier to deal with him being gone. She keeps me so busy during the day that I barely have time to take a shower, let alone think about missing the hubby until she goes to sleep at night.

Granted he's only been in training schools this past year so I am able to talk to him very night and I know he is safe. Maybe if he was deployed it would be a little harder but I think we have handled the separation well.

Until today that is. The hubs was able to come home for the weekend after previously being told he'd be unable to come home. And we made the most of the two days he was here. Gianna loved having her daddy home. She was in constant show off mode and watching her snuggle with her daddy every night melted my heart. I know how hard it is for him to be away. Both him and her needed the time together. Especially since the next time he comes home we will be a family of 4!

The past few times the hubs has left Gianna didn't really know what was going on. Today though was different. Hubby had been holding her saying goodbye and the minute he put her down she flipped out. Screaming hysterically and grabbing at his legs. He picked her up again and held her for a few more minutes. Then put her down only to have her freak out again. At this point both G, M and I were on tears. She did not want her daddy to go. Again he put her down and started for the door. She followed and I picked her up so he was able to leave. I don't know what was worse watching my daughter cry and reach for her dad or seeing the hubs leaving in tears.

I scooped up Gianna and carried her to the couch where she finally fell asleep in my arms. After about an hour she woke up and immediately started walking around the house calling out for her daddy. She won't put down the bear he made her for her birthday and she looks for him every time I open a door in the house or leave the room

I know that as time goes on his comings and goings will get harder and harder. Especially on the kids. It will be a few years before they are able to comprehend what is going on and until then all they know is that daddy is leaving. And as hard as it is I have to stay strong for them and the hubs.

I shed a few tears during Gianna's nap time but now I have to be strong for her. So off I go to give her lots of extra hugs and kisses today hoping to ease he transition until she sees her daddy again




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