Thursday, May 31, 2012

Mom guilt

One of my favorite bloggers, Laura from Between the lines wrote her own post today about mom guilt. It's funny how you wake up in the morning ready to pour your feelings out into your blog only to read someone else dealing with the same issues you are. It helps to know you are not alone!

Gianna is teething and has been now for the past two weeks. And this time around its a nightmare. She is so fussy, whiny, clingy and bi polar.nyes bi polar. My sweet little girl has no idea what she wants. She gestures to be picked up, then arches to be put down. Then gestures again to be picked up. She's not eating anything besides her bottles and is refusing to take her naps. Yesterday I took her to the pool and she screamed the whole time. She finally fell asleep in the car ride home and transferred to her crib. I got to work cleaning and making myself lunch and 20 mins later someone was up and screaming. This lasted all day and night. Finally at 630 I picked her up and we went for a drive. After a half hour drive we returned home for bath time and bedtime. Finally I sat down and breathed a sigh of relief. Later as the hubs and I went to bed a flood broke and I started crying. I felt so bad for being so short tempered with her and losing my patience. I know she cant help it but she was driving me crazy

Then of course I got to thinking about when the baby comes and the pregnancy thus far. I still feel like Gianna is getting jipped of attention. With the constant nauseau, throwing up and low low blood pressure I'm always tired and in the mornings have to spend awhile on the couch before I feel up for doing anything. This makes me feel like the worst mom in the world. If it wasn't for bubble guppies I don't know hownid get through some mornings. Now I'm feeling a little better so I've been trying to spend as much one on one time with Gianna as I can but then I can't help thinking how in a few months she won't be the only child. I was planning on having another year to spoil my little girl until adding to our family.

And don't get me wrong. We are so excited to be having another baby. Estatic. My feelings have nothing to do with baby boy. Just that I feel bad for my daughter. Everyone says she will adjust and that her and her brother will be best friends and I shouldn't bear myself up. But it's so hard some days. I look at her sweet smile and think about how fast shes growing up and cry about how tired and impatient I've been lately.

But enough of a pity party. I'm going to get off my blog and spend all day at home with my lil girl, playing and snuggling and smothering her with kisses

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

1 comment:

  1. I agree - it's always a comfort to know you're not alone. aren't. Even people in different situations can feel what you are in different ways.

    Know that you're a great mom, and trust that. Because you are.