Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Babies and Marriage

Babies def change a marriage. Some for the worse, some for the better but whichever is the case things change. You bring home a wonderful little bundle of joy who needs constant attention and of course things get put on the back burner. A clean house, clean laundry and your way of doing things. This also includes time spent with your spouse. After Gianna finally falls asleep it's not long before the hubs goes to bed since he has to get up early. And with him being gone so much it's hard to fit in any quality time for the two of us. I know that will eventually change so I'm not worried about it. What I am worried about is a discussion we had the other day

I asked him to help out more. Gianna is a very needy baby. She has to be held. All day long. Putting her down results in screaming and naps are a thing of the past. (Apparently I was the same way as a baby, sorry mom and dad)And while I sound like I'm complaining about this I'm not. I love every moment spent with her. I love cuddling with her all day and playing with her especially now as she is starting to explore toys, and doing new things like sitting in her bumbo and playing in her jumperoo propped by pillows and blankets. I wouldn't have it any other way

But sometimes it is frustrating when the hubby breezes home from work and plops on the couch wanting to relax when I'm covered in baby puke, haven't showered yet for the day and the house is a disaster. So yesterday we had a little tit about how he would love to stay home while I work and how it must be nice to do nothing all day, followed by me yelling at how he does nothing at home and blah blah blah. We have since rationally discussed all this and have apologize for each being so testy with each other. Hey 4 hours of sleep a night will make anyone crabby.

But tonight as I was reading the book Brain Rules for Baby by John Medina I came across the chapter about how relationships and happy marriages impact your baby and I died laughing when I read this and had to share it with y'all

" If my husband tells me one more time that he needs to rest because he worked all day I will throw all his clothes on he front lawn, kick his car into neutral and watch it roll away and sell all of his precios sports stuff on ebay for a dollar. And then I'll kill him. He seriously doesn't get it. Yes he worked all day but he worked with English speaking, potty trained and fully capable adults"

"He didnt have to change their diapers, give them naps and clean their lunch from the wall. He didn't have to count to ten to calm himself, he didn't have to watch Barney 303 times and he didn't have to pop his boob out 6 times to feed a hungry baby and I know he didn't have peanut butter and jelly crust for lunch. He did get two 15 minute breaks to stroll, an hour break to hit the gym and a 1 hour train ride home to read or nap"

"So maybe I don't get a paycheck, maybe I stay in my sweatpants most of the day, maybe I only shower every 2 or 3 days, maybe I get to play with our kids all day. I still work a hell of a lot harder in one hour than he does all day. SO take your paycheck, stick it in the bank and let me go get a freakin pedicure once a month without hearing you say Maybe if you got a job,, and had your own money"

Ha typing this up I am still laughing. I even read it aloud to the hubby over the phone since he is gone for the week and we both had a good laugh. Probably because this sounded like the conversation we had during our little tift.

And while having a baby is an adjustment and our marriage will need to adjust with it, I think it's a good sign that we can have little arguments, get frustrated but then talk and work it out, later on having a good laugh about it all!


  1. Love this post! Since having the new baby, we are getting used to the balance all over again. Although with 2, my husband is forced to help because we have to tag team. But I think sometimes they don't understand how tiring and frustrating it is to stay home. They think its a breeze. I would argue my husband has way more time to himself! He got to go the gym, he got to eat lunch without juggling a baby and he probably got to go to the bathroom without someone screaming at him!

  2. This is so funny! I don't have a baby yet, but I can just imagine all of the future arguments we're going to have. It's nice to know it's normal!

  3. Love that quote! We went through the same thing. My husband finally got the point when he woke up one morning to me giving him the death stare. Haha You definitely need to make sure you get some "me" time though, even if it's a quick trip to Starbucks alone. It will make you feel so much better.

  4. Oh the joys of marriage and family!

    those made me giggle.

    p.s. i have a giveaway going on, gianna would LOVE to win some hairbows i'm sure :)

  5. This is to funny! I will be getting that book when the time comes! I'm so nervous, in 19 weeks we'll have baby here.. But someone will be missing, my husband. He will be deployed. So when he does eventually come home we'll have our schedule already and everything already in order... Then it'll get shaken up again.. I don't look forward to the arguments of trying to start an entire new life together.. With No transition. He leaves with a wife and comes home to a baby and wife.. Oh geeze!

  6. So true. The balance is hard. It got easier for me though as my daughter got more independent.