Survival Mode

After my hubby told me he was going to deploy in two weeks, I was sad at first and then started to prepare myself for his upcoming deployment. Facing a deployment is like going through the stages of grief. Anger, sadness, denial and a whole assortment of other feelings all rush up at once. After I got used to the idea that he was deploying I told myself that it was time to pull up my big girl panties and move on. What I did was shut myself off to my hubby completely. After coming home from work everyday this week I kept myself as busy as possible. I cooked, cleaned and did whatever else there was that needed to be done, everything that is but spend time with my hubby. After I was done with all that, I would lose myself in a book. Everything M said or did annoyed me and I wanted to be left alone. When I was alone however all I did was cry. Driving to work was the worst because every time I heard a song that reminded me of M I would lose it. All I pictured in my head was the moment when I would have to drop M off at the airport and say goodbye. I hate goodbye's.
At night, laying in bed I would turn away from M when I should have been cuddling with him as much as possible. I also used every excuse to get mad at M. Somehow I assumed he should know how I was feeling even though I had been cold and distant all week. Finally, M told me that I needed to stop pushing him away and enjoy these next two weeks.
Just when I finally started doing that we got the news he may not be deploying. You would expect me to have been jumping for job but instead I was mad. After preparing myself emotionally and mentally I had adjusted to the fact that M was leaving. Now he was staying. Talk about a play of emotions. M is upset to. They keep giving him the run around and he just wants to know what is going on. In a way he is upset he is not deploying. I don't blame him. I can understand his emotions too. I am not getting my hopes up yet that he is staying here for sure but only time will tell. Sometimes that army drives me crazy!!

On another note, I forgot to pass on the Glamorous Blog award to a fellow blogger.


I present this award to Hailey at Destined for Royalty. Her blog is awesome so be sure to check it out. The rules for this award are as follows

Instructions

1.
Thank the person who gave it to you.
2.
Link the person who gave it to you.
3.
Keep it going and give it to whomever you would like.
4.
Answer this...If money were not an issue what would be the top three things on your wish list?

I will keep taking people's questions until Monday and will be answering them by next week tuesday or wednesday so continue to ask away

Also remember tomorrow I am having a guest blogger. Amber is one of my absolute favorite bloggers to read. She is honest, down to earth and a truly sweet person. I look forward to what she has to say in her blogs and am honored she is going to write a post for my blog so stop by tomorrow and check it out

Hope everyone is having a great night!