The day has finally come. During the week I told you all that I would be having a guest blogger. Amber from the Survival Guide of the Young, Fabulous and Newlywed is writing today's post on my blog. Since my link tab isn't working her website is http://fabulousyoungandnewlywed.blogspot.com/. Be sure to check it out. She is an amazing write, one of my favorite blogger friends and has am awesome blog. This post is one I think you all will like. Amber is candid, honest and open and I love her for that. So enjoy!!!
Hello to Katie’s readers! I asked Katie last week if she would do a guest post on my blog today and she returned the favor by asking me to do the same.
As I thought about what to write, I wondered what Katie’s readers might be interested in. After looking over Katie’s followers, I realize that many of you are army/navy/marine wives. I love reading blogs of the wives of military men. Both of my grandfathers, an uncle and now my brother have served in a branch of the armed forces – so I have experienced first hand the toll deployments and time away from loved ones can take on a family.
I read your postings about how much you miss your husbands, how stressful managing a home without your partner can be, how nervous your are for an upcoming deployment, etc. and I think about how easily my life could have been just like yours. You see Steven, my hubby, wanted to join the Marines 3 months before we were married. The company joined right out of college experienced a huge downsize, and as he was one of the most recent hires – he was the first to let go. After a few days of researching his employment options, he approached me about his desire to serve his country. He had researched how to become and officer and the details concerning boot camp and deployments. He wanted to talk with a recruiter about seriously joining and wanted my opinion.
To say that I didn’t exactly handle the situation well would be an understatement. I pitched a fit! I told him that if he joined, I would call off the engagement. We were getting married in 3 months! We had just graduated from college! I loved Charlotte. I loved the friends we had in Charlotte. I loved my job. I did not even want to think about the possibility of moving – especially if that meant my soon-to-be husband would be joining the military and leaving me for months on end.
Steven handled my fit with an astonishing amount of grace. He understood my concerns and promised never to mention it again. He soon took a sales job with my company and we moved ahead with our wedding plans.
Looking back on the situation, I wish I could back in time and strangle my 22-year-old self. How selfish was I? What – it’s okay for other women’s fiancés and husbands to risk their lives – just not mine?? I claim to be patriotic but I wasn’t willing to sacrifice my own wishes for the betterment of our country? My happiness was ultimately more important than Steven’s desire to heed a calling in his life. I forced him to stay where I wanted him to and I can honestly say it is the only regret I have in my 25 years on this earth. Not a day goes by that I don’t wish I had agreed and supported him . It’s so hard to realize how truly self centered I was - I am getting emotional right now just writing these words. He has never mentioned a word of it. I know he would never hold it over my head or make me feel bad about it. I have since apologized profusely for my childish demands. I have made it more than apparent that if he still wants to join, I will quit my job and follow him anywhere. And I truly mean it. I would sell our home, quit my job, leave our friends and family and follow him wherever the service might take him – just as long as he felt fulfilled in his work. I am so ashamed of how I acted back then and if I could, I would take it back in an instant. But for better or worse – this is our life now and we are still happy. But I know that Steven will always feel like he let himself down somehow – and that breaks my heart.
So I read your blogs about upcoming deployments, time away from your men, days with no word from them and ultimately your prayers that they are safe – and I am moved by your ability to keep your head up. Thank-you so much for the sacrifice you have made to be a military wife. I have said it before on my blog, but I really do think that the families of our troops deserve just as much praise and thanks as the troops themselves.
I have such admiration for a military wife. I admire her courage – her ability to stand on her own and love her husband even though they may be thousands of miles away. I admire her faith – her ability to believe that everything will be okay despite staggering odds. I admire her strength – her ability to forge ahead with day-to-day life and accomplish goals and dreams of her own – mothers who raise children as if they were a single parent – new brides who create a home for a husband who will not be home for months on end.
Thank you again to all the military wives who may be reading this. Please know that there is someone out there who prays for you and your family daily and is ever so grateful for the sacrifice and commitment you have made.