And after she was born I couldn't imagine life getting any better. Gianna was a sweet baby from day one. She loved to be held and cuddled. I indulged every second of it and secretly loved when Gianna preferred myself over the hubby. Even after he came home from this past deployment I grinned every time she chose laying with me over him
And then one day out of the blue things changed. Gianna started asking for daddy all the time, choosing him over me and preferring to be with the hubs over myself. I'm not going to lie I was devastated. Every time she asked for him over me, or broke away from me to go lay with him it felt like I had been punched right in the gut. I'd look at them, cuddled together and have to blink back tears. ( I know, I know. how dramatic of me) But it felt like rejection. It was hard not to take personally. I'd sit and rack my brain and wander what I did. What was wrong. Was our relationship changed from here on out. Would it always be like this, her preferring the hubs over me. And was this a glimpse of what the teenage years would bring. Endless rounds of battling it out, her thinking I was always wrong, uncool and annoying(Sorry mom for doing that to you) and running to her dad for comfort.
Even since the hubs left last week she is still on daddy mode. And when asked for a hug or kiss I more thna likely to be met with a no than what I asked for. I also know that for the next few years at least, every time the husband leaves I will be her punching bag so to speak. I realize that right now she is acting out and taking everything out on me because she is too little to fully understand what is going on. All she knows is that daddy is gone. And this go round she is struggling to deal with it and figure it out. So what is a toddler to do but act out, be defiant and take it all out on mommy.
These last few days I have struggled. I have taken it personally, cried, worried, stressed and wandered what I was going to do to fix it. And then I happened to be browsing on Pinterest(shocker) and came across this
As a mom it is sometimes hard not to react personally. Especially because we know that our time with our children is so fleeting. Every step they take, word they speak and year that passes by brings us one year closer to their adulthood. I know my mom still looks at me like I'm her baby and I can only imagine that I will do the same when Gianna is a 29 year old mother of 2.
Besides, I do also know that this was true for me and will possibly be true for Gianan
Here's to all the mother daughter relationships out there!