Mom guilt

One of my favorite bloggers, Laura from Between the lines wrote her own post today about mom guilt. It's funny how you wake up in the morning ready to pour your feelings out into your blog only to read someone else dealing with the same issues you are. It helps to know you are not alone!

Gianna is teething and has been now for the past two weeks. And this time around its a nightmare. She is so fussy, whiny, clingy and bi polar.nyes bi polar. My sweet little girl has no idea what she wants. She gestures to be picked up, then arches to be put down. Then gestures again to be picked up. She's not eating anything besides her bottles and is refusing to take her naps. Yesterday I took her to the pool and she screamed the whole time. She finally fell asleep in the car ride home and transferred to her crib. I got to work cleaning and making myself lunch and 20 mins later someone was up and screaming. This lasted all day and night. Finally at 630 I picked her up and we went for a drive. After a half hour drive we returned home for bath time and bedtime. Finally I sat down and breathed a sigh of relief. Later as the hubs and I went to bed a flood broke and I started crying. I felt so bad for being so short tempered with her and losing my patience. I know she cant help it but she was driving me crazy

Then of course I got to thinking about when the baby comes and the pregnancy thus far. I still feel like Gianna is getting jipped of attention. With the constant nauseau, throwing up and low low blood pressure I'm always tired and in the mornings have to spend awhile on the couch before I feel up for doing anything. This makes me feel like the worst mom in the world. If it wasn't for bubble guppies I don't know hownid get through some mornings. Now I'm feeling a little better so I've been trying to spend as much one on one time with Gianna as I can but then I can't help thinking how in a few months she won't be the only child. I was planning on having another year to spoil my little girl until adding to our family.

And don't get me wrong. We are so excited to be having another baby. Estatic. My feelings have nothing to do with baby boy. Just that I feel bad for my daughter. Everyone says she will adjust and that her and her brother will be best friends and I shouldn't bear myself up. But it's so hard some days. I look at her sweet smile and think about how fast shes growing up and cry about how tired and impatient I've been lately.

But enough of a pity party. I'm going to get off my blog and spend all day at home with my lil girl, playing and snuggling and smothering her with kisses

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Baby boy

Saturday we found out that we were expecting a baby boy. And I'm still in shock from the news

Going into the ultrasound I was so convinced it was another girl. I had the nursery all planned. Down to the purple/grey walls, and an accent wall with this amazing purple and black damask style wall paper that would go amazing with this gorgeous white furniture set I found at Ashley's. You could say I never factored in it could be a boy. Hubs too was convinced it was a girl.

While we were waiting for the ultrasound machine to warm up even the ultrasound tech commented that she thought it was a girl since its been her experience that when pregnancies are close together they are usually the same gender. I smirked and smiled ready to see our baby girl

After getting some great pics of our little one and seeing her move around in my belly we zoomed in on the gender. She pointed something out and asked of we knew what it was. When we said we didn't know she told us it wasn't a third leg and we were expecting a boy. I was shocked. M was speechless. We could not believe it.

After getting some more good pics of our little one off we went to target to buy baby boy some clothes. M was giddy as he found a star wars shirt and a bunch of other cute outfits. I couldn't help sneaking peeks at all the cute girly clothes and Tutus that were calling my name.

How am I going to raise a boy? I am such a girly girl and can easily envision signing up Gianna for ballet and attending her dance recitals. But a football game? Or soft ball? And dealing with a crazy kid running and jumping all over the house. What am I in for? My brother and hubby were joking that this kid is going to be Mr distructo. My husbands mini me.

And that makes me smile. Although Gianna is looking more and more like her daddy each day I can't wait to have another version of the hubs running around. I am excited to have two of each and while Gianna's a daddy's girl I know that baby boy will be a mommys boy. And when we are in the midst of an emotional temper tantrum from Gianna I will have one calm little boy to balance it out!


Here's a pic of my beautiful baby boy


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And it's a...

Boy!! I am so shocked that it turned out to be a boy. I could have sworn it was a girl. But there was no mistaking that third leg

Off to go buy our little boy his first outfit!


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Baby Led

When Gianna was born we did many things others felt we shouldn't. Such as co-sleeping, nursing on demand, rocking and nursing her to sleep and following her schedule instead of putting her on one. A few months ago I even had friends sit me down to "talk" to me about what I was doing wrong with Gianna.

Let's just say I haven't talked to them much since then. For one I've learned that parenting is trial and error. There are a million ways to do things, some right, some wrong and at the end of the day you had to do whatever works for you. Not what works for someone else. And I've come to the conclusion that when babies are ready to do something they will do it on their own.

I was warned Gianna would never go to sleep on her own and that if we weren't careful we'd have a toddler sleeping with us. So when Gianna turned 9 months I was determined to have her sleeping in her crib and through the night. Up until this point she was still sleeping with me and nursing every two hours. I thought it would take weeks for her to sleep in her crib. Nope after three days Gianna was sleeping in her crib and sleeping through the night. It was heaven!

The next thing on my to do list with Gianna was to start to wean. So I bought some formula and started giving it to her in both. Kettles and silly cups. She also started eating 3 full meals a day which helped in the weaning process. Gianna loved the formula I bought and now begs for her "baba's". I still try to nurse but Gianna wants nothing to do with that anymore. Instead my "boobies" have become her new toys which she likes to play with and bite. Not fun for me. So bottles she gets. Although I will say I'm so glad we breastfed for as long as we did. Formula is expensive and we go through it like crazy. Baby number 2 will def be breastfed as well

Pacifiers and thumb sucking. Never an issue! One less habit for me to break

It is amazing how less and less of a baby Gianna is and how more and more of a toddler she's becoming. It's funny to me how some people bash attachment parenting and insist those kids will be needy,clingy, and dependent. Nothing could be further from the truth with Gianna. This girl is as independent and fearless as they come. It's sad in a way since she needs me less and less but its so much fun watching her grow and explore the world around her.

These past 10 months have been crazy, amazing, terrifying, exhausting and the best ten months of my life. I think I did pretty good during my first few months of motherhood and my advice to new moms or moms to be is don't sweat it. Everything is a learning process that takes a lot to trial and error. Don't let others tear oh down because your not doing something the way they did. That just puts more stress on you. Just like your parenting style may be different, your baby is different from their child as well. So good luck and enjoy it. For babies grow up way to fast

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My First mother's Day

My husband surprised me with my mother's day gift a week early. The previous Sunday after coming home from a friends baby shower the hubby asked me to get him some blank cd's from our guest room/office. When I walked over to our desk there sat a iPad! I have been wanting one forever. He even got me a bright pink cover. That man knows me so well. So for mother's day I wasn't expecting much since he already went so above and beyond. I was wrong again. Friday night the hubs allowed me to rent a total chick flick to celebrate Mother's day weekend. Woohoo. Saturday he woke up with Gianna( who gets up at 530) allowing me to sleep in until 8. Afterward he made me French toast. It was so yummy. After breakfast we packed up and headed out for a day of window shopping. I was even told I could pick out a new Marc jacobs bag or a coach purse but I didn't. I'll save that for another day lol After shopping we went out for a yummy lunch right on the beach. I couldn't ask for a more perfect day. That night we had dinner with friends and headed home. Sunday the hubs got up with the baby again and we had plans to go to the beach but it was storming like crazy here. There were even a few water sprouts and tornadoes along the coast so we decided not to venture to the beach. Instead we had a lazy day at home, hung up our pictures so our new house feels like home and he ended the night giving Gianna a bath and entertaining her while I watched(sobbed) during the series finale of Deesperate Housewives. My little family spoiled me so much. The bar is set pretty high for fathers day. And as nice as the iPad and family day out was, I am so blessed without any of those things I have an amazing husband. One who always puts his family first. He tells me everyday that I'm beautiful and a great mom and he himself is an amazing dad. My daughter just lights up anytime he enters the room and seeing them play together melts my heart. And Gianna. She herself is gift enough. She has taught me how to love someone unconditionally. The last 10 months have truly been the best time of my life. I love being her mom and every day with her gets better and better. I can't imagine my life without her. And last I am blessed to be carrying another baby. I can't wait to meet this little one and introduce her to her big sister. I can't thank god enough for all he has given me. I hope everyone had an amazing mither's day

Boy or Girl?

Saturday we have a 3D ultrasound scheduled. I cannot wait to find out if we are having a boy or girl. I thought it would be fun to look up old wives tales and try to predict what I am having!

1. The Chinese gender prediction chart.
According to this chart I am having another girl. It was right with Gianna so we shall see if it's accurate this time

2. Baby's heartbeat.
140+ = Girl
Below= Boy
At our first few appts it was in the 150's. Last appt it was 140. So according to this girl.

3. Sweets vs Salt
If your craving sweet food they say it's a girl. Salty for a boy. Last pregnancy I craved sweets. This one I am still so sick anything I keep down is a miracle but my cravings are more on the sweet side. So girl again

4. High vs low
If your capturing high is a girl. Low it's a boy. I'm not really showing yet so my bump is still low. One for a boy

5. The Mayan chart( lets hope this is wrong since then I might have to give credit to their 2012 predictions)
If both the age of conception and year conceived is even or odd it's a girl. If one is even and one is odd it's a boy. I was 27 at the time baby was conceived so that makes one odd and one even. Boy

6. Pimples!!!
If you are breaking out like crazy it's a girl. If not its a boy. I broke out like crazy with Gianna but haven't had one pimple so far. So boy I guess! Though I had a friend who broke out horribly and she had a boy

7. The wedding ring trick
Put your ring on a string and hold it above your belly. If it swings back and forth it's a girl. In a circle boy. It swung back and forth so girl again

8. Sick as a dog
Sick= girl. No sickness= boy
I was and am horribly sick. Nauseous all day. It's awful so once again it's a girl

So that's 5 for a girl and 3 for a boy

In all honesty I could care less. I mean I would love love a girl. I never had a sister and although I was close to my brother I always envied my two cousins who def had a close sisterly bond. Not to mention we are fully set for clothes
However we have a boys name and bedding set all picked out if pea it is a boy. And we can't agree on anything if it's another girl.
So Saturday we shall see

Weigh in and let me know what y'all think we are having


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What do you buy a 1 year old

We are celebrating Gianna's birthday at the end of next month and while I have all the decorations bought, the cake designed and her one year pictures scheduled I for the life of me can not decide what to get her present wise

I want to make it special but at the end of the day what sort of meaningful gift can you give a one year old. We bought her a necklace but she prolly won't be wearing that for awhile along with this cute little pearl bracelet that again will be awhile before she wears

Then I picked up a fisher price little people set and that's as far as I've gotten. I have no clue what else to get her. I want to get her things she can grow with along with being educational but I'm stumped

What did y'all get your little ones on their big first birthday.


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Letting Go

When Gianna was first born the thought of leaving her with a babysitter or putting her in child care was out of the question. After working at my hometown's police department for a few years I heard way too many horror stories that I became paranoid for life. I do have a good friend that will watch Gianna from time to time but as Gianna gets older I think it would be better for her to be in her own environment. Especially now that separation anxiety has really started to set in.
So I've been considering drop in care or hiring a baby sitter. No day cares in town have any openings for a child under 12 months even for there drop in or part time programs. So I think the baby sitter is the best route. And that usually means a teenager. Which makes me so nervous. But I started baby sitting when I was 12 and continued to do so until I was 21. So I need to ease up and start looking for a baby sitter. I know some of you are thinking why does a SAHM need a baby sitter. I will tell you why. With baby number two on the way I have been so sick. Some morning I plop Gianna in her bouncer and turn on bubble guppies for a few hours while I try to relax in between running to the bathroom. And when it comes time to cleaning the house that's outta the question. Gianna loves any type of cord and follows me around pulling on them. And running errands has become a nightmare. No matter how tight I strap her in this child is a little Houdini. She gets outta anything. I'll be pushing the cart and all of a sudden she's standing up almost falling out. And it would be nice to have someone watch Gianna when I go to my dr apps. I have to be seen every two weeks now and between the half hour drive it takes to get there, the 30 mins or so I have to wait to be seen and then the drive home Gianna is a mess. So a little extra help would be nice
I'm not talking every day. Maybe once a week at most. And for only two or three hours at a time. I think this will really help Gianna to.
So mommies any thoughts on hiring a babysitter. Especially a teenaged one. What should I be looking for. What questions should I ask? Thanks for your help
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My Co-Parent

With the hubby constantly coming and going more often than not I play the role of single Mom. And while that comes with the territory of being a army wife sometimes it's hard to do everything all by myself.

Luckily I have my co-parent. My best friend Amber. Our husbands have been on the same team for awhile now but Amber and I didn't start hanging out until we both moved down here to Fl. After Gianna was born she was always stopping by bringing me coffee and visiting which was much needed during those first few weeks of sleepless days and nights. And since our husbands are usually gone at the same time we always get together for dinner or play dates with the kids to help combat the loneliness and boredom that can settle in when your husband is always gone. In fact Amber has been the one to come with me all my er trips with Gianna and I watched her kids when she miscarried this past fall. We even have a rule that if we don't hear from each other in a 24 hour period that we go over to one another's houses and check to make sure everything is ok. With our husbands always gone and our families thousands of miles away it's nice to have a friend I can count on. We now jokingly call each other our co-parents and our husbands jokingly refer to us as the same

Yesterday Amber and I had gone to a friends baby shower. We had driven together since we were unsure as to where the shower was located. M kept Gianna for me and Amber had her two kiddos with her since her husband is outta town

On the 15 minute drive back to ambers house after the shower her three year old fell sleep. When we arrived at Amber's I got in my car and started to drive away. Amber who had been getting Jaelee outta her car seat ran to the road and motioned for me to stop. As I got outta the car she told me to look at Jaelee. Poor thing was covered in hives everywhere. So off to the er we went. When the dr entered the triage room he looked at both Amber and I and addressed us by saying "oh you must be the Schmidt's. It was hysterical. This guy thought we were a lesbian couple! We would have corrected him but having to restrain a terrified three year old while she got a shot of Benadryl and steroids wasn't the right time. And of course while amber comforted her daughter afterwards I was the one the dr went over the paperwork with further making him believe I was the mother or father lol. Luckily Jaelee was fine and it turned out to be a reaction to something. Nothing major. So we all got a good laugh out of it. Our husbands thought it was hilarious! I guess that what co parents and good friends are for

Hope everyone had a great weekend!

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Flying with a baby

Before baby number two makes its appearance I thought I should take a trip home to visit my family and friends. Because there is no way I will be flying or driving anywhere with two kids under two for quite awhile. So family if your reading this this means that y'all are more than welcome to come visit us anytime or during any holiday but we won't be coming home!

So in a few weeks I will be heading back to Wisconsin to visit everyone. I must admit I'm not exactly looking forward to the visit. It's always hectic trying to cram in seeing everyone in a weeks time. It's certainly never a vacation and since the hubs isn't coming it will be just Gianna and I. The thought of flying with a 10 month old is enough to send me into a panic. I'm hoping that during my layover I can have one of this carts drive us to our next gate. Will they do that lol?

So mommies any advice for flying with a baby. There arent too many toys Gianna is into that I'll be able to take on the plane and she hates sitting still. Shes such a squirmer. So any advice or tips at all is much appreciated

All in all I'm looking forward to seeing my family. Especially my grandparents since all they ask about is when they will be able to see Gianna again. My grandpa is having a very serious surgery in a few weeks so I really want to spend a lot of time with him. Gianna is the light of his life and I know it will mean alot for him to see her.
I just hope that despite having to see a lot of people in so little of time I still will be able to relax. I'm sure once the flight is over I'll be much more relaxed already!


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Diaper Bag Help

Now that baby # 2 is on the way I am looking for a new diaper bag. When I found out I was expecting with Gianna I might have gone a little crazy on the diaper bags. I have two vera bradley diaper bags

And while super cute don't really hold that much stuff. I do end up using it when we go to the beach because the bag is easily washable and the inside liner is easy to wipe or rinse out. But for storage wise it's not really practical I splurged on a Timi and Leslie Diaper bag because what Mom doesn't want the same diaper bag that Jessica Alba and Victoria Beckham have!

However while trendy and huge, everything just gets dumped in and I usually end up having to dumping everything out just to find what I'm searching for. So this bag is retired to my closet I do love my 31 Organizing utility tote and use that as my daily diaper bag

All the pocket's make everything easily accessible and organized but it's not the most stylish or fashionable bag when you and the hubs have the baby with you and want to go out for a nice lunch or dinner. I know that's not important but I still want to feel cute and fashionable regardless of that fact that I'm a mom. Especially when you love bags and purses as much as I do I also have a coach diaper bag

And while I love it it doesn't zip up all the way which drives me crazy So ladies I need your help. I need a diaper bag that will hold enough for two yet looks like a designer bag. I love petunia pickle bottom bags, though haven't seen one in person since no store in the area sells them but I love the look of them

So ladies tell me. What is your favorite diaper bag. I need your help!

Gianna's 1st Trip to the Zoo

Two weekend's ago my SIL,mom, Gianna and I headed to the zoo. I loved the zoo as a kid and couldn't wait to take Gianna. While it certainly was a fun experience I must admit I was spoiled with the Milwaukee County Zoo. That zoo is huge and can literally take all day to walk through. The zoo here took 45 minutes to walk through and there weren't many animals. But it was still a fun experience for my family to share with Gianna and that in itself is priceless. One funny moment was the monkey's. There was one that was swinging from branch to branch in his cage screaming at the top of his lungs. Gianna took one look at him and started screaming. She had been happily sitting in her stroller taking it all in and after that she had to be held. Not going to lie it was pretty hysterical

For mother's Day I think we are going to check out the Marine park in Panama City. So that's another first for Gianna and a new experience to look forward to