Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Whose wedding is it anyway!

When the hubs and I broke the news that we were engaged my parents were less than thrilled. They had a list of reasons why we shouldn't get married. Although I was 24 they thought I was too young, my dad was convinced M was only marrying because married soldiers make more money(the 100 bucks I added to M's paycheck isn't alot Dad) and they thought we were being foolish and rushing into things.

I understand now they were just being protective of me but at the time it was very irritating. Especially since my parents and I had had many of conversations about my wedding a few years past. I remember waking up one morning after a friends wedding. I had been a bridesmaid and my parents had attended this wedding as my friendship with this girl goes way back. My parents commented on how beautiful her wedding was and then my dad dropped the bomb that since they helped pay for college I would be on my own for my wedding. Both mom and dad then laughed and said that knowing me I'd call them one day from some airport to let them know I eloped with a guy I had known for a few months

If only they knew then how true their words were. I was always a spontaneous sort of person. I randomly made last minute decisions and did everything at the spur of the moment. I wasn't reckless, didn't engage in bad behavior and def guarded my heart carefully. I was cautious when entering relationships and was never one to date a guy just to have someone in my life. However I knew what I was looking for and when I met M I knew he was the one. Since I knew it was a given that we would get married their wasn't any point in dragging out our engagement especially since M was deploying soon.

So back to my parents reaction. I think throughout the whole engagement they tried to change my mind. Especially once we told them the way we planned on getting married. My strict catholic parents were against our destination wedding. My dad wanted us to get married in Wisconsin at our church. But we were paying for our wedding and M isn't particularly religious so we stuck with our original plan of a destination wedding.

My dad's mom also wasn't thrilled and once again thought we were rushing Into it. She refused to come to my wedding stating it was because she was afraid to fly. My dad offered to drive her and my grandpa down to Florida but she refused that too.

Eventually my parents came around and the love M to death. They know how happy we are and still comment on how they loved our wedding. My grandma on the other hand refuses to talk about it. She never asked to look at pictures and when M deploys constantly tells other people that she doesn't feel bad for me since I should have known what I got myself into

So when my cousin became engaged I knew my grandma would focus only on Stephs wedding and turn it into the wedding of the century. My grandma fussed over this wedding like crazy. Anytime I called it was all she could talk about. Your cousin is going to be a beautiful bride, this wedding is going to be amazing, my first granddaughter to get married. Umm actually I was grandma, thanks for remembering

What's even funnier is that my cousin got engaged to a guy from england. When he goes home to visit his family Steph does not go with him leaving my grandma to tell everyone how she doesn't know how my cousin can be apart from her fiancé and how hard it is for her. Ugh my grandma can be so frustrating

And my poor cousin, whom I love to death had to deal with my grandma constantly trying to plan her wedding. I must admit that as we got ready for her big day it was hard watching my grandma get so teary eyed and emotional when she couldn't even be present at mine. But I held my tongue, shed a few tears in the bathroom and celebrated my cousins wedding.

And although my grandma didn't come to my wedding and at times she is overbearing and rude, i know she would do anything for me. I think deep down she feels bad about not coming to my wedding but she will never bring it up. And I choose to not bear a grudge. After all M and I got married the way we wanted to. At the end of the day a wedding is about a couple starting their new life together and that's all that really matters!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone


  1. Sometimes family make the wedding planning more frustrating than it needs to be! I have my unfortunate stories too, but hey - as long as we are all happy at the end of the day, then you are right - best not to bear grudges.

  2. Some people will never change! At least you have a great husband and a good life together.

  3. My wedding had quite a few family fights, especially when my Gran said they may not be able to fly out to see me get married because my older cousin was "possibly" graduating from Uni. of Texas... You got to love families!

    At least you were able to enjoy your cousins wedding, and remembered that your wedding was awesome because it was all yours!

  4. I know EXACTLY how you feel... the story of my wedding is still to painful to share.

  5. That sounds a lot like my story. My family was not for our short engagement, but like y'all, we had a deployment leering in the near future, and he wanted to be able to take care of me & our dogs while he was gone. In the end, we decided to elope, & not tell our families b/c it was becoming so ridiculous. We've confessed to most of them, but as of right now my very catholic grandparents dont know we've been married (for a year this month) but they think we're getting married next week on our anniversary & we'll be having a wedding in my home state to make them all happy.

  6. Oooh, I think I would have to have a serious chat with grandma, that would drive me nuts!

  7. Oh my gosh, I can't believe your grandma! That is so sad! Good for you for being so strong at your cousins wedding, that would have made me crazy!

  8. Aww I'm sorry you had to deal with that kind of family drama. We had tons of it too before our wedding and everyone (except my family) thought it was insane to get married at 19. Especially when one is heading off to war.

    But you are so right...a wedding is just the START of a marriage. It should be a beautiful day but if its less than perfect that's alright. The marriage is what counts :)

    I hope you guys are having a blast!

  9. Oh family drama... we all have it don't we! I'm glad you're staying positive =)

  10. Wow! You are a strong and FORGIVING woman to not keep a grudge. I'm sure your Grandma sees that and may be upset with herself.