Thursday, August 26, 2010

Trying to Conceive

DISCLAIMER-This post is highly personal and brutally honest. If you are easily offended or do not care to read about my personal information then this post is not for you!!

I hesitated before writing this post. I was unsure whether or not to post about this topic.There are some people that read this blog that don't really need to know such personal details about my life and I'm sure some people who will get offended by what I write. But I started blogging as a way to keep a daily journal of my life as a wife and military spouse. So no topic is off limits to me. Here it goes

When the hubs and I were married the decision to have kids was up in the air. I knew I wanted children but wanted to wait until I was 30 before trying. M wasn't sure if he wanted any at all. However even though we were on the fence about children I loved celebrating my friend's pregnancies, babysitting their little ones and oohing and ahhing over baby clothes. When I started blogging I became addicted to infertility and pregnancy blogs, I cried along with those bloggers who lost their babies, suffered miscarriage after miscarriage or those that couldn't have children at all. However as much as I admired these womens' strength and courage I couldn't help but wander if I would go through IUI or IVF just to have a baby. Now doesn't this just make me sound terribly selfish. I swear I'm not. I just don't know if I would be strong enough to go through all that. I truly admire those women who have and are going through it. You are all amazing!

And before you write me off as selfish I'll prove to you that I'm not. I had a good friend who had problems conceiving. I watched every month as she peed on a stick hoping to see two lines instead of one. They never came. I watched as she would suffer through other friends baby showers trying so hard not to cry and when she went on vacation to an area with no internet or computer I logged into her fertility friend account and updated it with her temperature which she texted me every morning. I would then read her chart and text back if she was ovulating. I celebrated with this friend when she finally had a positive test by running out and buying her What to Expect When Your Expecting and buying a Mom to be and Dad to be card for both her and her hubby. So I do know how hard the struggle to conceive is

I didn't really know how hard it truly was until recently. In March when the hubs deployed I finished up my last pack of pills. I didn't bother buying more since hubby was going to be gone for a few months. Shortly after he deployed we agreed to start trying when he got back. I started taking prenatals and reading up on conceiving. I also started tracking my period and counting, trying to figure out when I ovulated. Even though I was off birth control I was regular for the first 3 months and had my cycle down to a T

However this past month my period was a few days off. No biggie. I adjusted and the hubs and I started trying the beginning of this month. I even have a fertility app on my phone which tracks my days and tells me when I'm most fertile and ovulating. Crazy I know

The day for my period to arrive came and went. Two days went by,then three,four and five. Nothing. I peed on four tests, all negative. Not too mention I was very sick the beginning of this week. I totally thought we nailed it on the head. However my hopes were dashed today at work. Even though I doubted getting pregnant the first month I was still disappointed. And when the tests were showing up negative by my period still wasn't there I was getting worried. How am I supposed to plan this next month if my period doesn't arrive. Or how can I continue trying to figure out days of ovulation when my period is off every month. I've been so frustrated the last week and a half.

The hubs and I also decided to only try for one more month before putting baby making on hold. Not because we are giving up but because of the army. We were set to PCS to Florida either next August or September. However we just found out that we could be moving as early as May. Plus the hubby deploys around Dec/Jan. So it would be the smartest thing to wait until after he gets back to resume trying. So one more month of Operation Babymaking and then we pull the plug

As much as this decision sucks I know it's the right thing to do. The last thing I want to do is be pregnant, trying to find us a house in florida and switching dr's halfway through a pregnancy. Not to mention the actual move itself. SO I plan on staying off BC, taking my prenatals and trying to read as much info I can on conceiving and pregnancy.

So to all of you out there, do any of you have any good book recommendations on either topic? Thanks!

Hope this wasn't information overload





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23 comments:

  1. I don't have any book recommendations, but this is what worked for me. When my husband and I decided we wanted to start trying for a baby, the first two months I was devestated when I wasn't pregnant. But I didn't want to drive myself crazy with trying to track my period and figure out when I was ovulating. So we just had sex every day that month. That was the trick and I got pregnant with my daughter! That is my advice, haha. Good luck on your journey!

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  2. I actually thought this post was very honest. My hub and I have beeen trying as well we are getting stationed in Fort Carson,CO and I have been keeping track of my period and stuff like that but I have like 3 periods a year its crazy so its really hard for me to keep up when I don't get one for months lol. Good Luck girl I'll be praying ya'll.

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  3. I would recommend the book 'Fully Fertile' I really liked it. However after 10 months of unsuccessfully TTC I'm not too sure it's been helping. Good luck, I hope next cycle is your cycle!

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  4. It is definitely a very hard road to be on. My husband and I have tried to get pregnant for a year and a half now, after 3 miscarriages, 2 failed rounds of clomid, my emotions are getting the best of me, but I know I just need to be patient. Honestly the best advice I can give is to be patient, let your body relax, try not stress. I know not getting those 2 lines is disappointing but it will happen when its right (it has taken me a long time to get to that point). Sending lots of prayers your way and good luck on this journey!

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  5. The best advice I can give is to relax! Stop trying, stop tracking your fertility and obsessing over ovulation! Don't have deadlines or time lines. They are just added stress. You are young, you are healthy and there is no point to all that stuff except making you feel like a failure when it doesn't happen...like you miscalculated something, which is crazy! I know, it's easier said that done but it's true.

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  6. This is a tough road you are about to travel down. We successfully got pregnant the first month we tried; however, it ended in a devastating miscarriage. I had meltdown after meltdown before the next period came after the miscarriage. After we got pregnant the next cycle, the worry started. I called my doc after the first positive test and demanded recurring blood tests to track my hormone levels. I even went on progesterone (crazy pill!) for added help to save the pregnancy. Obviously it was a success since Connor is now here but even the pregnancy road was difficult. Er visit led to cardiologist finding a hole in my heart, to seeing a neurologist, to finding out I have a blood disorder (which explains the miscarriage), to seeing a hematologist thinking I would need to do injections each day.

    Long story short, whether you are pregnant or not, you will always stress and worry. Try not to for your sanity and enjoy this special time with your husband! It truly is a time when miracles can and do happen. Life really is amazing when trying to create a life. Enjoy!

    (Oh, book recommendations... I didn't do any fertility books but your pregnancy week by week is awesome! I now have your baby week by week and love it as well.)

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  7. I agree 100% with Birdie, making the baby is supposed to be FUN! Allow yourself to relax and have fun, it will happen!

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  8. I don't have big words of wisdom, but I just wanted to thank you for your honesty. It's so nice to read about real life, and it's brave of you.

    And good luck!

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  9. That is awesome you guys are starting to TTC!!!

    This is going to sound really gross, but I'm going to tell you anyway and I'll try my best to not be so crude about it.... BUT!

    Ya know when your va-j-j get the thick clear mucus right before or after your period? That is the best time to start getting down and dirty because that mucus helps keep the spermies in your hooha.

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  10. I don't know if anyone has mentioned it yet, but you should get the book Taking Charge of your Fertility. Seriously, it's the best thing I've read. I chart my cycles now and even only one month off BC, I know when I ovulated and the length of my cycle. I know the exact DAY I ovulated because of this. My husband is deployed, so we have to wait until he gets back to start trying, but luckily with this I can figure out when the best time is to have a baby. I think your issues with when you're ovulating and when your period is will be solved by reading this book. I promise!

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  11. I would def recommend taking charge of your fertility if you haven't already gotten that one. I really think it worked miracles for us. I do think it is awesome that you are being honest and blogging about this part of your life.

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  12. I don't have any suggestions for you, but thank you for this open and honest post. I enjoyed reading it, and although I'm a few years away from kids myself, I can understand where you're coming from.

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  13. I do recommend being aware of your body, you cycle, etc. But I also recommend not totally stressing yourself out either. I have known so many women who have tried for years, or have been told they will probably never conceive...once they stop thinking about it "BOOM!" they are pregnant.
    However, do be aware that depending on how long you were on BC and when you finally stopped taking BC it does take time for your body to completely cleanse itself of the hormones and go back to "normal."

    Good luck on your journey.

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  14. Hey!! I really enjoy your blog, and I wanted to pass on an award to you!!

    www.armydogs.blogspot.com

    I am so new to this, sorry if I am going about it the wrong way :-)

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  15. Sorry to hear about a no go this month, make sure you have folic acid in your diet at the time you conceive, its very important!! I hope you can find the right resources and ways to keep you positive ... When god knows its time, he will bless you with a child!

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  16. I honestly am probably not the best person to comment as we got pregnant without even deciding it was the time but I love you honesty and I want to follow you guys on your journey. I think I am along the thought line that it is good to know what your body is doing but not to obsess over it. My mum had IVF for 9 years, she finally had my brother from this and then 18 months later she got pregnant naturally and had my other brother. The Drs put it down to the fact that she was relaxed and having a baby wasn't her sole focus any more! Everything will happen when the time is right.

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  17. I too would recommend Taking Charge of your Fertility. I also wanted to wish you the best of luck.

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  18. What an honest post! I so appreciate that. I don't have any recommendations, but I do know that God will give you guys a baby when the time is right. The best advice I have ever heard about TTC is that it happens when you are relaxed and not constantly worrying about getting pregnant.

    I totally agree with you though. I always worry that when we do decide to start trying for a baby that I won't be able to do it naturally! Crazy, I know!

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  19. Hi there. I'm a new follower of your blog. I understand how hard TTC is. My husband and I have been battling infertility for over 3 years now. I've been on fertility drugs for the past year now and was recently diagnosed with PCOS. I'm also a miscarriage survivor and we're currently still trying for our first miracle baby. I'd also recommend "Taking Charge of your Fertility". It's a great book. Good luck with your journey!

    www.notjustanarmywife.blogspot.com

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  20. I love open and hoenst posts. And this is your blog. You should be allowed to write on whatever your heart desires. :) After 2 IVF's I no more about TTC than I ever dreamed I would know. The first book I read when it wasn't happening as quickly as I thought it should was Taking Charge of Your Fertility. I'm sure if you've been reading fertility blogs for some time you've heard of that book. :) If you ever have any questions, you are welcome to ask! :)

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  21. There's nothing wrong with your decision. As a military spouse and now pregnant lady, I assure you, TTC sends you with mixed emotions! I was told by two doctors that I may not be able to get pregnant. I'm only 23, was 22 at the time. I had surgery to remove endometriosis last October. I decided to stop taking my BC before the surgery so that my cycles could get "normal". I never really had normal cycles before (even on BC) and always thought I was late, but figured with cycles ranging anywhere from 30-47 days something else might be wrong. We decided to "try" on the weekends that I got to see my then fiance so that we'd have a headstart because I didn't want to risk not being able to conceive if I waited til I was married for X amount of years. After 2 months the doctor's said I may not be ovulating so I went right out to the store and bought an ovulation kit. I had about 2 books on fertility and kept a fertility journal which I kept records of my temperature every morning as soon as I woke up. I did all that fun stuff. My second cycle came around and I got pregnant. I probably would have been more discouraged had I not bought the ovulation kits to be honest. I wouldn't know when to "try"! Don't get discouraged though. I think I've read that the average TTC couple takes 4 months to get pregnant. You shouldn't be concerned unless you've been trying for a year in most cases.

    I know you haven't been trying long, but whatever decision you make will be good for you. You aren't selfish for feeling the way you do about IVF and stuff like that. Its a decision that people make based on what they want in life. For some people creating a family is the most important thing and for others a career and happy husband is. Everyone's different. Good luck!!!

    PS - sorry this was SUPER long!

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  22. Keep your head up Katie! It will happen and no the Army doesn't help that much. I have found that if you stress and worry about it it doesn't happen but the minute you let go - it happens! What does your husband do in the army?

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