At 520am we rolled into NC. It was a long 16 hour drive. We immediately unpacked the car and then passed out in our bed. Let me tell you how nice it was to not be sleeping on an air mattress or a couch. What isn't fun is the amount of laundry and cleaning along with grocery shopping that needs to be done before heading back to work tomorrow. But oh well that's the price of vacation
All in all we had a nice vacation although it wasn't what we quite had in mind. We both needed and wanted a relaxing vacation, time spent together since it had been so long since we had seen each other. However we had a total of 2 days out of 15 together. The rest was spent with family members and friends. It was so nice to be around our families and to be able to spend all the time we wanted with them but in a way being home increased our stress and anxiety level
When we first planned this trip four months ago we told our friends and family the dates we would be in town. Some called to set up plans, others didn't. We went into this trip agreeing that this trip wouldn't be a repeat of our Christmas vacation. That week home was spent running around trying to fit everyone in. We literally had breakfast, lunch and dinner plans with different people that whole week we were in town. We agreed that this trip unless people had made plans with us we weren't going to feel bad bout not seeing everyone. After all we just spent the last 4 months apart and needed time alone. I know it's important we see our family but M and I need time to ourselves. Especially since M will be busy in a training class for the next 3 months and deploying in 6.
Of course our plan didn't work. People became upset when we didn't see them, plans fell through or weren't made and drama ensued. This left M and I arguing with each other and debating about whether or not to cut short our trip to WI and just drive back to NC. And just like Christmas we spent our last few days in town trying to cram everyone.
It was almost relaxing to drive back to NC yesterday! I know it comes with the territory of living away from our family that when we come into town everyone wants a piece of us and for me I'm still not used to living away from my family and friends. I want to see every body and yet I get upset when the hubs and I don't spend time alone. M is used to living away as he's done it for 6 years longer than me so when it comes to seeing everyone he doesn't get to upset if we can't fit it all in. I on the other hand hate knowing that people feel left out when we couldn't see them. It's a constant struggle between family and my husband.
How do you all balance family and quality time with the hubby
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For my own family it is easy because they are on the other side of the world! however with Mr Soldiers family we struggle the whole time between wanting to see people and not wanting to share each other during our precious time off. I think it is an unavoidable problem with our lifetsyles
ReplyDeleteIt's even hard for us and my family lives 45 minutes away and Robbie's family is only 2 minutes away from us. Although we are so close, sometimes it's worse because they think that we should be at EVERYTHING! And we always have to split holidays so we are just constantly running around!
ReplyDeleteWe just don't worry about. We already know that when we go home his family is going to be very drama centered if we don't see everyone. It gets on our nerves so we usually just do a few big family dinners with them. My family is more relaxed about it so they aren't pushy about it. We also only go home once a year. We tell everyone that they are more than welcome to visit us, we have a spare room yet none of is family or friends have in the 6 years he's been in the Navy. It's pretty sad. My friends and family try every few years to see us, this way it balances everything out with visits. We due understand that not everyone has the money to travel, but we aren't loaded either so we don't think us going into debt to go home and then be pulled this way and that by family is fare. We had to put our foot down.
ReplyDeleteI wish you the best of luck with it all next time you go home!
Its hard. We had to lay out boundaries for his family. Mine is super good with being understanding and keeping space but his is more than overwhelming. Its definitely a touchy subject.
ReplyDeleteIt is hard. And as a military couple you want to spend more time with each other because you cherish the time you have together since you go for months not together. But your families want to see you too. J's family lives in Michigan and we go up once a year and spend a week to 10 days and we do the best we can. You will never please everyone.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to balance everything so we make it clear that we're here to visit immediate family for a few days and then throw a big barbeque inviting all friends and family and if they don't come or can't make I don't worry about it, we'll see them next time. You cant please everyone but you can keep your sanity!!
ReplyDeleteIt is so hard to try and cram seeing everyone into a short visit. I'm sorry that it caused such a hassle for you guys. But yay for being back home in your own bed.
ReplyDeleteIt can definitely be hard. I'm not married yet, but A and I did spent his entire R & R together. He flew home (his parent's) for his leave. I was already there. We spent a lot of the time with his family but also made sure that we got away for a couple days. While we were at his parents we had a birthday party for him so a lot of his friends and family came to that. Other than that, we didn't see much of anybody else. During our travels we got to home (for me) and saw my parents for breakfast and then headed back towards his parents. A lot of time seems to be spent traveling and I hope that this doesn't end up being the case in the future. I hope that you were at least able to relax a little and enjoy spending time together...even if other people were around!
ReplyDeleteAw girl I'm sorry it was a little stressful I feel that way when I went home to visit although when I went home I had people make plans with me then cancel the day of which had me stuck not doing anything which I would get so mad at but it's really hard exspecially when your married because you have both sides to go visit.
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