Birth Days

My cousin had her baby yesterday morning. She was induced Thursday  and as I awaited the news of her first babies arrival I couldn't help but feel a twinge of sadness. For I looked at my babies and quickly saw how fast they were growing up. Yet in some ways it feels like just yesterday that they were born. I know I will never forget either of their birth days

And while I never experienced actual labor, nor felt any sort of contraction what so ever, there are still certain moments of both of my kid's birthdays that I can still hear, see, and feel in my mind every time I look back


Waiting for Gianna's arrival

 Ethan will be here soon

I will never forget the anticipation and fear that went along with the birth of either of my children. Both of my kiddo's were scheduled c-sections but Gianna's was an emergency one done a week earlier than our scheduled date. I will never forget driving to our house, loading up the car with our hospital bags and thinking this is it. In a few hours we will be a family of 3. I think I shook the whole way to the hospital

I will never forget getting prepped for my surgery. The blood work, the iv, the nurse and anesthesiologist coming in to talk to me. The fear quickly setting in
But most importantly I will never forget the sound of my babies heartbeat over the monitor. The feel of their punches and kicks. Knowing that that day would be the last day I felt those things from the inside. I remember feeling my belly, cradling them from the inside silently telling them it's just you and me kid, forever.

I can still hear my baby's heart beat strong and solid over the heart rate monitors and I can remember watching the spiral of the machine as it monitored my baby's movement and my lack of contractions.

I remember walking into the operating room shaking with fear, laying on the table and praying to God for a quick and safe delivery. Hearing both my babies cry. I remember with Gianna I was so drugged up I remember thinking that someone really needed to get that baby out of my room and stop her crying. Then I realized she was mine and I was officially a mother

And I will never forget the moment both of my children were born. The pressure on my abdomen, the shouts of the Dr about the arrival of my son and daughter and the annoyance of not being able to see them above the blue curtain.

Finally the moment arrived when my husband brought our children over to me. That moment when I gazed on each of them for the first time. That moment of recognition that only a mother can have for her child. The one where you recognize them as a part of you, where love overwhelms you and you know that from that moment on you are changed forever

And I will never forget those days spent in the hospital with our newborn. days and nights full of pure bliss. Like it was us against the world. I never wanted those days to end. There is something so peaceful about those days in the hospital. Like nothing else matters but you and your new family. And truly nothing else does

Meeting Gianna for the first time

 Meeting Ethan for the first time

So congrats to my cousin. Your life is forever changed in the best way possible. And to my two children to whom I love more than life itself I leave you with this quote

" No one else will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all you're the only who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside