Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Back to Work

A few weeks ago I posted my decision about being a stay at home mom. Then yesterday I got a call from the company I had sent in my resume to over a month ago. I set up an interview for this Thursday without discussing it with the hubs or even thinking about it. The minute I hung up I looked over at Gianna and burst into tears. I started thinking about not being home with her every day, missing all of her first's and doing that gave me a full blown anxiety attack. I could not calm down!

When I first stopped working due to the move I thought I would go crazy staying at home. Then Gianna came along and I knew I didn't want to go back to work. I have loved staying at home with her so much. It is amazing how she changes day by day and I love being able to stay home and experience that with her. She is such a happy baby that I worry about if daycare would change that. She is highly needy and loves having her mommy close. And I have no problem with that

Originally the hubs and I discussed me going back to work when she was a year old but since he will be deploying around then we decided that I wouldn't be going back. I feel that having the hubby gone constantly is enough for her to get used to. She needs one parent constant in her life and I want that to be me.

I know I'm probably stressing over nothing. I haven't even interviewed yet or been offered the job. But when I go in there I am going to be honest and explain that I am only looking for something part time and it would all depend on the child care I could set up.

After doing some more thinking about it the only reason I would be going back to work is for the paycheck. While things are a little tight now, we are managing just fine and sure the extra money would be nice but it is not a necessity. So why even go back? It's not like I'm going bored staying at home and am looking to get out of the house for a few hours every day. I'm not bored at all. I honestly don't even know where the time. I am constantly busy.

And I def don't want someone else raising my kid. I wanted a baby for a reason and that reason wasn't to put her in daycare so I could work all day and we could still have the same lifestyle we had before she came along. I just don't know what to do. Maybe I should just cancel the interview? Ugh I'm torn

As you can prolly tell I am stressing big time about this decision. I'm going to give myself another anxiety attack!


  1. Oh pretty girl!!! I grew up with a babysitter that is pretty much who I call my second mom. While I know it was hard for my mom to do when I was only 6 weeks old I know she doesnt regret it at all. They did it to give me the things I wanted in life and while your stuggling with it right now I know you won't regret it later. While your managing with your money now, just think of the things you can give her with just a little extra income!! She is only that age once so part time is perfectly okay!!!

  2. Only you will know what's best for your family and situation. Don't stress about your decision until after your interview. You'll know at that point what you should do.

    To be honest, I love having a full-time job and being a mom at the same time. Jade is as happy as ever at her daycare, and she loves playing with the other babies. When I stayed home with her over maternity leave, I had to hold her all the time and felt like she was a little needy too. However, I think she is one of the most self-sufficient babies in her class. She learns all kinds of things and really seems to have fun there. I was always a shy kid in school, so I'm glad she's having these social experiences now. Don't just assume that "daycare" means they'll be lying in a crib all day crying. That's my two cents! Everyone has to make their own decision about what's best for them and their family.