Saturday, February 12, 2011

A Paranoid Preggo

I have been trying to write this post for the last few days but was afraid to put it all out there, for fear of sounding crazy lol. But here it goes

To say this week has been horrible is an understatement. I am so tired of being sick and alone. I caught that cold/flu bug that is going around and it has been awful. From what I hear people are out of work everywhere and this strain lasts for a week if not longer. There was even a statement issued on the news and an article in the newspaper from the hospital off post telling people that if they have a cold/cough not to come in. My mom wanted me to go in and be seen but for what I wasn't sure. Obviously being pregnant there isn't much I can take and even if I wasn't I never take cold medicine because it makes me feel weird. I def didn't want to take something and feel even worse.Also waiting in the waiting room somewhere probably would have made me even sicker. So I took tylenol and stuck to all natural remedies. My cough has lessened some, my fever is gone and I feel slightly better, though in between throwing up, diarrhea and lack of appetite I lost ten pounds in three days. That freaked me out. Yesterday I was at my breaking point

I was a hysterical mess thinking that with me being sick I have somehow hurt the baby. I'm terrified that monday when I go in for my 16 week appt that something will be wrong with the baby. I have friend's who are a few weeks behind me that already are feeling the baby move. Granted it's their 2nd or 3rd kid so I hear that's common but still I was freaking out.

I've always dealt with anxiety but I've noticed that since M has been gone it's at an all time high. I'm terrified about everything. I'm afraid to be alone and I want M home. I honestly feel as if I am depressed or something and I know I shouldn't be. I'm so excited about the baby and to be pregnant. I'm just terrified that something will be wrong the baby. That I did something to hurt the baby.

I'm trying to keep myself busy and occupied but that's hard. Especially when your cooped up in your house for three days.

But I'm trying to stay positive and can only pray that me and the baby will feel better soon

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14 comments:

  1. When I was pregnant I didn't feel the baby move until at least 20 weeks, and I think it was even later than that. Don't worry, its not going to help anything!

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  2. Oh sweetie I am sorry you have been so sick. Everyone in my family has it too and I have been avoiding everyone. I know its way hard! You and I both have our husbands deployed durning our first pregnancys, and it does get so hard to relax sometimes.
    Do your best. I usually take long showers or do a little shopping. I also get my toes done about every 2 weeks.
    I read in my book that women on their 2nd pregnancys (or more) feel it sooner. I just barelly started feeling Ev this week, but I am 2 weeks ahead. Believe me when you feel it you'll love it!!

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  3. Oh Katie, this is so hard. Being pregnant can be stressful even when life is going perfectly. When our husbands are deployed everything seems so much harder. I have dealt with short seperations during pregnancy but never a full deployment; so I can't say that I understand completely what you are going through, I can only imagine.

    Keep your head up, that baby in there is going to be just fine. You are quite obviously going to be a fantastic mother.

    Now, here's something else. There is no medical proof of this and no scientific background but I have found that in talking to other moms and even in my own pregnancies (4) that the harder the mother has it; the healthier the baby. I know that sounds silly but it seems to almost always be the case.

    The baby will always take the nutrients he needs to thrive from you. For example, say between the two of you you need 5 calcium (I'm making up numbers here)... you need 5, you consume only 4... the baby takes the 3 that he needs and you are left with 1 for yourself. In a case like this maybe you'll wind up with a few cavities, brittle hair, etc. But the important thing is that the baby is getting what he needs to be healthy.

    So, stop worrying, you are having a rough pregnancy, but that just means that that baby in there is doing really well. Again, no medical proof of this, just something I've picked up on over the years talking to other moms. I hope this makes you feel better.

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  4. I'm sorry to hear about your anxiety :( It sucks he can't be there to help or your mom can't be there. I hope things get better, and I bet everything will be perfect with the little one.
    xoxo

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  5. Firstly, I'm really sorry you're sick. I caught the nasty cold going around as well and it sucks that we can't take anything to feel better! It's totally kicking my butt... I hope you begin to feel better REAL soon!
    Secondly, don't worry about the baby not moving yet. I didn't feel anything until well after 20 weeks! As hard as it is, all pregnancies are different and you try not to compare it to other people's, I'm sure everything is fine with your little one :)
    Thirddd anxiety is TOTALLY normal. There's SO much change going on with our bodies and in our minds that I'll find myself easily getting overwhelmed and breaking down way more than normal. If you ever want to talk to someone or bounce ideas off of me, please feel free to email me: legallybride@hotmail.com. Obviously I'm not saying I know everything but we're going through this at the same time and maybe I've experienced or felt something you may feel :) xo

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  6. Pregnancy anxiety is TOTALLY normal. I think I was terrified for 99% of my pregnancy with M. And having to deal with illness is the worst when you are pregnant and alone! I am sure the baby is doing fine, but I know if will be a relief to get confirmation at your appointment!

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  7. I didn't feel my first baby move till 18 or 19 weeks. And I was also super sick with him. I had strep and bronchitis and had to be on antibiotics, and he was born happy and healthy. I had the worst stomach flu of my life when I was 7 weeks pregnant with my second baby and he ended up perfect too. Hang in there!

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  8. I hope you feel better soon. I have never been pregnant so I can't really say anything...

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  9. I lost 25lbs in my first 19 weeks of pregnancy. I couldn't eat anything except pringles and cereal. Everything else made me sick. Couldn't drink water either. But, baby was fine. Somehow still got the nutrients he needed. Normally what you crave is what the baby needs. But don't worry too much. It's normal to be paranoid. After having a miscarriage with my first I was sooo nervous about this one but he turned out huge and healthy!

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  10. awww...it's gonna be okay. The fact that you are so worked up and worried about the safety of your baby is an indication of you being a great mom. You are going into protective gear. I'm sure the insecurities are at a high without your solid rock of a husband around. I know I feel that way when mine's gone too. I didn't feel my daughter kick till a few weeks later than my other friends at that time of their pregnancies. Everybody's different. Don't panic until there's definitely something to panic about. I got sick at the beginning of my pregnancy and lost 8 pounds and my baby was fine. Just do the very best you can to take care of your baby. Nobody can ask any more of you than that :)

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  11. I have an award for you over at my blog!

    http://mommymandymusings.blogspot.com/2011/02/second-blog-award.html

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  12. So sorry that you're going through this! I hope your appointment went well today and that your mind can be at ease.

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  13. I found your blog from another blog and I'm now following you. I am also pregnant (30 weeks) with a deployed hubby, and going through this cold/flu thing and have been for about a week now, it is not fun.

    16 weeks is very early to feel movement, I didn't feel anything until about 20 weeks and most people who feel anything before 18 weeks mistake it for gas bubbles, so don't fret!

    I hope your appointment went well and if you need another prego to vent to, let me know!

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  14. This is my first pregnancy too and I didn't start to feel the baby until just last week (and that was at 20 weeks), everyone says it's different so I wouldn't stress too much about not feeling it move. Once you start to feel it, it never stops lol. Hope you're doing well!!

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