Thursday, February 18, 2010
I started reading the book Committed and decided to write a little book review about it. Just to clarify I have not finished reading this book so my review is only based on what I have read so far
This book was written by Elizabeth Gilbert who also wrote Eat, Pray Love. I have yet to read that book and am interested in reading that book after I finish Committed. Eat, Pray Love is about the author's divorce and her journey around the world as she tries to find herself after the divorce.
This book is set after her divorce. She has found love with an Australian citizen who does business within the U.S. The two make a pact never to marry and devote their relationship to traveling and not tying each other down with the so called constraints of marriage.
On a trip back to the U.S. her boyfriend was detained and deported. They were told he couldn't return unless they got married. Of course they hadn't wanted to get married so this threw a wrench in their plans. They end up agreeing to get married and as they travel again all over the world until her bf can get a visa to the US she explores the history of marriage. Let me just state that she is neither an anthropologist nor a sociologist so her studies are not scientifically validated. Her interviews of the various cultures and their thoughts on marriage are her own opinions and biases.
I am now on page 70 of the book and am struggling to get through the rest. For one I disagree with most of what she says throughout the book.For one she constantly states she is against marriage. But she is only against marriage because she had been through a divorce. There are no other reasons besides her divorce that validates her reason to be against marriage. She then goes on to proved biased opinions about gay marriage, christian marriage and marriages within the western world
One of her statements is that since people started choosing who they wanted to marry, divorces have increased since these people are so quick to end the marriage at the first sign of trouble. I agree that within the last few years, divorces have risen around the world, people are choosing to marry later and have children later. However I believe this has alot to do with how society as a whole is changing. I also disliked her statements about christian marriage. She claims that Jesus didn't want people to get married. That they actually shouldn't marry. They should give up their spouses and their option to marry and follow him instead. Now my opinion about her beliefs may be biased also but I disliked the way she discredited christian marriage continuing on to say that christian marriage wasn't recognized for the first few centuries of Christianity and was only estalished by the church after many of years. The worst claim was that people get married in the church to create a false sense that their marriage is destined by God and will withstand the test of time
Again I am only on page 70 and my opinions are based off of her opinions so I'm probably not the best judge of reference for this book
I think why I disagree the most about this book is that she constantly is claiming that love is fickle, marriage based on love don't last and that people are constantly falling in and out of love. To some extent I do agree but what I would like to argue with her one is this..
Love isn't going to make a marriage work. Passion isn't going to make a marriage work. Money isn't going to make one work. There is not one thing alone that will ensure a marriage will last in relation to other's. Marriage takes work. It takes love, honesty, trust, committment and a desire to make the marriage last no matter what happens. If you enter a marriage and base it off one of those components, no wander the marriage will not last. Lot's of people end marriages because the going gets tough. You can't do that. Both partner's need to be committed to the marriage and making it last. Marriages have their good days and bad. Both people have to learn to grow together. SO I feel that it isn't love alone that will make a marriage work. Love plays a big role in marriages. Most of us get married because we fall in love with that one special person. We may have been in love before but for some reason, something about our spouses just felt right. We then base our love and marriage of other variables and grow together. That to me is what makes a marriage work
So for all the marriage bashing that she does, I feel that the only reason she is doing so is because she had a marriage that didn't last. There is no other reason than that
Hope this makes sense. I had so many thoughts reading this book that I couldn't keep them all straight!!! I had so many points I wanted to make and to discuss with others. Have any of you read this book? What are your thoughts?