The Murphy's law of deployments basically means that the minute your husband leaves everything that can go wrong will go wrong. And then some. It's summed up quite nicely by this picture
This deployment has honestly been one of the worst. Not because of how much I missed my husband, or how hard it is to hear the kids crying for their dad, or because I'm lonely, or because the husband and I aren't communicating properly. But because it has been just one thing after the other. As I called my dad the other day and had a emotional break down I jokingly said I was one mental breakdown away from a mental breakdown.
Being an army wife is hard. Raising kids alone is exhausting and frustrating. Doing it all alone with no family nearby on top of dealing with the house and all the other stuff that us wives do is beyond hard sometimes. And Murphy doesn't make it any better
Just when I thought things were picking up something else would happen. Last week I literally woke up to a new issue every day. And because I love to document so I can look back and read about how hard I thought deployments were I thought I'd write a little list
- We made it through a tornado. On our own and luckily only suffered minor damage to our fence, grill, playhouse and yard
- I bought Gianna a little purse from the dollar section of the store as a reward for good behavior. On our return home she went in her room to play with it. When I entered her room I saw she had colored all her walls with the markers I didn't know came inside the purse
- Ethan grabbed one of the above markers and decorated his room and the hallways
- we all caught a massive stomach bug and let's just say I went through a large thing of tide, and a jumbo box of diapers and wipes in two days
- the smoke alarms in the house all started beeping randomly. Even after the batteries were changed and they were unplugged with the wall. Leaving my dogs terrified of being in the house alone
- The router died so we no longer have internet. Or Netflix or anything like that
- the dogs dug massive holes around our freshly sodded backyard. It's so bad but our air conditioner that you can see the underground poles and wires. I've had to rig up a fence outta the kids toys
- storm number 2 made us lose our second pool of the summer and broke our patio table
- upon returning home from the store the other night with dinner I placed said dinner on the counter only to come inside after getting the kids out of the car to find the dinner eaten by the dogs
- the kids fighting and crying has gone from cute to kind of funny to some what annoying to down right irritating
- Yestersay I thought we made it through the day unscathed. I had to volunteer at church and afterwards some friends and I took the kids to the park. I treated them to McDonald's after that and we finally headed home at 9. Way after bedtime but I had two exhausted kids that I couldn't wait to put to sleep. I was thinking that it was a really good day until my phone beeped. My friends daughter has lice. And they were just over at our house.
It was in that moment that I felt utterly defeated. I don't think I can handle anything more on my plate. I should have a husband home here to help me with all this. Luckily a good friend lives across the street from me. She isn't married and has no kids. Plus she works at a school so I know she'd know what to do. I intended for her to come and stay at my House to watch my sleeping kids while I ran to Walgreens. She ended up going to walgreens for me. And gave us all lice checks since I had no idea what to look for. Luckily we were given the all clear although I'm still washing all the bedding, blankets, washable toys and treating the kid hair just in case.
But as far as this deployment goes I wave the white flag. I'm tired, exhausted, stressed and overwhelmed
The most frustrating part of it is the fact that my husband doesn't understand. Take this pix
So true. I thjnk my husband thinks I'm exaggerating when I tell him about what's been going on at home. During the tornado he called to check on his car. His car. Not his wife and kids crammed in the laundry room but his car. And since he's never spent more than a few hours alone with the kids by himself he has no clue what it's like to be with them all day everyday. To him I spend my day going to the park or hanging out with friends on play dates and then finish out the day watching disney movies. What's so hard about that? So clueless
But while this post may sound like constant complaint after complaint it's really not meant to be. I know things could be so much worse. Despite all the things that have broken or gone wrong we are all healthy and happy and that's what really matters. Compared to a friend whose two year old just had major heart surgery or the little girl in my Sunday school class that has cancer I am grateful that although Murphy has struck, it has been minor little things. And I thank god every day for that. Because despite it all I am beyond blessed
Although the day after the husband gets home I am heading for the beach. Alone. And staying until after the kids go to her. Army life is so romantic isn't it!
I have so much respect for military moms doing it alone! My husband is a firefighter and works 24 hour shifts and while I can handle those shifts, when he works a 48, I sometimes LOSE MY MIND. He went back to work a few days after my son was born and those first few weeks were the WORST. He was the same way - he hadn't spent more than a couple of hours alone with our son until the last few weeks when he started being a SAHD part time. He hasn't left the house for more than a trip to the post office. I'm hoping he now understands what it's like!
ReplyDeleteHere's hoping he can come home on time! And make sure you take a few day trip alone when he's on his redeployment block leave to give him the full parenting experience.
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