Before having kids I was a parenting expert. I was so self righteous in thinking that parenting was easy and that it was all the parents fault when kids behaved a certain way. Well I am here to tell you that that is not the case and I am eating my words. So for fun here is a list of things I swore I'd never do
1. I swore that my kids would never throw tantrums in public and would always be well behaved. Ha! What a joke that is. Today in fact I was the mom of two kids who ran like crazy people up and down the aisles and hid under the clothing racks. Sigh. No amount of bribery, pleading, or snacks would keep them in the cart of near me. So we ended up leaving. Shopping with toddlers is no joke
2. My kids would never sleep with me. Since my toddler refuses to sleep in her own room I have an extra person in my bed every night. We have tried everything. Nothing works. She is terrified of her room. We've rearranged things, converted it into a big girl room and have it full of her favorite toys. She refuses to sleep in there for more than a few hours and even then she has to have the lights on and the door open. Once she turns 16 I'm sure she will no longer want to sleep with us
3. My kids will never snack and always eat healthy meals. That one I don't do too bad on. The kids eat what the husband and I eat for dinner and they love all fruits and vegetable. We don't do desert so they think ice cream, cupcakes and brownies are saved for special occasions. Snacking however is another story. They are always hungry and while they will snack on fruit I go through an insane amount of goldfish, cheese it's and ritz. Ethan loves them when he is teething and I do try to limit but sometimes I find myself handing out crackers by the handful just to keep them quiet!
I also hate making breakfast. I despise it. I am not a morning person and with the kids getting up at 6 the last thing I have energy for is making breakfast. Needless to say frozen waffles and applesauce pouches are easy. Not necessarily healthy but it gets the job done
4.I will never be the mom in sweat pants Well that is me on a daily basis. The mom in Sweat pants. I usually put on a cute outfit when I have places to go but the moment I get home I change into my sweatpants. This usually happens before the husband comes home. Poor guy Yesterday he mentioned that I had on the same pair of pants for the past 10 days. He's wrong. I have at least 10 pairs of black leggings and swap them out every few days but I get his point. It's just easier to be in comfy clothes while taking care of the kids. Anytime I do have on something cute it gets puked on, spit up on, colored on or dirty in some other way. At least when I go back to work in the fall I wil have a reason to wear "adult" clothes again
5. I will have structured, organized days with the kids Again that's a laugh. My days are anything but structured. I take that back, when it comes to eating, naps bedtimes and outings those usually occur at the same time every day. But aside from that I go with the flow. I tend to let the kids dictate our day. I've tried breaking our day into times set aside for reading, music, etc but it never works out. The kids don't have the attention span to sit still longer than a few second and their constant fighting makes me give up. So I let the kids chose what they want to do and go from there
6. I swore I would always be the fun mom, The mom that plays with her kids Here is one thing that I swore I would do but it hasn't been as easy as I thought. It's hard to sit down and fully engage with your kids when you can see the towering pile of clean laundry sitting on your couch waiting to be folded, or the dirty dishes are in the kitchen calling your name and the dog hair is visibly noticeable on the floor. It's a daily battle between being intentional with the kids and making myself keep up the house. And let's be honest, sometimes playing with the kids is not fun. Some days Gianna wants me to play with her, other days she wants nothing to do with me. I never seem to get the days right. And Ethan just wants me sitting by him at all times, though no actually interacting with him. And when I try to read or sing with them they get into it with each other. By the time they are pushing and screaming at each other I find the laundry doesn't look half bad. Then when I'm folding the laundry the mom guilt creeps in. It's a constant battle
7. I'd never compare myself to other mom's I never remember my mom comparing herself to other moms and I think without social media it was easy not to. Now you log onto facebook, instagram, blogger and pinterest and see all these other mom's that are better dressed than you, skinnier than you, throw better birthday parties and can cook anything without the need of a recipe. It's so easy to feel like a failure and that is something I work on at all times. I'm learning to let things go and focus on my family and myself only but some days that is really hard
8. My kids will never watch tv I have done all the reading out there that talks about how bad screen time is for children under the age of 2. I swore my kids would not watch tv and if they did it would only be for a half hour a day. Well as a mom of 2 with my husband always gone the tv is my lifesaver. Not my babysitter, although it is nice to turn it on so I can make dinner or squeeze in a shower but it truly is a sanity saver. When the kids have fought with each other all day, have refused to take naps, are cranky and whiny some days tv is the only thing I can do to give myself a break. And on those days I go beyond my half hour limit. Some times it can stretch to much more. Usually enough time to watch a whole Disney movie.
9. I will never bribe or negotiate with my kids I swore up and down that bribing and getting into a power struggle over something with my kiddo's would be the last thing I'd do. Along with time out's and counting to 3. And all those things I do on a daily basis. Especially with my strong willed daughter whom is bothered by nothing. Not even the promise of a toy if she behaves. But other times bribing and promising things are the only way I can accomplish something or ensure that Gianna doesn't slap or push her brother for the 50th time that day
10. I will never get frustrated or annoyed with my children Before having kids of my own I used to get irritated with friends who were constantly annoyed with their kids. You chose to have them, why have them if they are so annoying to you. Or the mom's who post on facebook how they need a break. Everyone knows that when you have kids your life changes forever. Deal with it. How wrong I was. You do need a break and your kids need a break from you. Since I'm with my kids 24/7 it is easy to get frustrated with them. I am finding that if I designate nap time or some part of the day for a little time to myself I am more patient with my kids
11. I will never yell at my kids out of anger Lately with Gianna doing more things to try to get out attention I am finding myself going from zero to boiling within seconds. Usually it's because she doesn't listen when I tell her something over and over and especially when it comes to her smacking her brother after just being told not to. Then I find myself in a rage screaming at my toddler who just looks at me like I've gone off the deep end. It's true what they say. You love your kids more than anything but they can frustrate you more than anything
12. My kids will share and be nice to others I am working hard on this one. When it comes to being nice to other kids there is no question, they will be or we are leaving. When it comes to sharing I have my doubts. Some items are favorites and I feel like my kid shouldn't have to share them. And when it comes to each other I can tell them to share and get along until I am blue in the face. Now I sit back and let them go at it. I can't solve all of their problems. They are siblings for the rest of their lives and they have to learn to get along with each other. So now I don't get involved unless one of the kids is crying hysterically or blood is involved(That luckily hasn't happened)
Ahh kids. They are constantly making you question and think through everything you do and don't do. And things I value as important when it comes to parenting are always changing! I have learned though to swear I won't do something. I usually find the things I vowed never to do I end up doing. God has a funny sense of humor