Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Before I had Kids

Before I had kids, I was the perfect parent. I knew that when my own kids entered the world they would sleep through the night from early on, never talk back or act up in public and never would I ever be a stay at home mom. Since everyone knows stay at home moms are lazy and do nothing all day

Oh if I could go back in time and slap myself in the face. I am now, proudly a stay at home mom. My kids still barely sleep through the night and Gianna loves to act out in public. Especially when at the grocery store. Slinging blueberries across Walmart while we stand in the checkout line has become her new favorite thing to do.

 But while I have become less judgetmental and more understanding since having kids society has not. On a daily basis I encounter parenting experts. Those who feel the need to comment on or about my parenting skills. What I find funny is half of these people don't have kids of their own. I thought I would write about some things I have dealt with since becoming a parent

Behavior in Public- It's easy to take a newborn somewhere. You strap them in their car seat and you have about a 3 hour window to take them and get something done. Forget about it when you have a newborn and a toddler. My toddler has now entered the age of No, tantrums and the terrible 2's. For the most part she is well behaved in public but she has her moments. The other day while at a friends house Gianna was exhibiting her skill of using the word No. M was playing with her in the yard and she didn't want to come inside. Of course my friend commented on how I was teaching her to listen like her middle school student's listen. I ignored it and changed the subject.

Then this friend brought up church and how kids in church are so annoying. Now I used to go to the catholic church here in town but family friendly it was not. I would take G who would spit up on me the minute we entered the building and of course start screaming. So I'd spend the entire church service in the back of the church avoiding death glares. OF course this church had no nursery or a Mommy room so I had no other option. I stopped going after two of those visits and now attend a church which is family friendly and also provides childcare. This friend went on and on about how parent's need to slap their children or spank them to stop them from acting up. I politely said that that doesn't always work. That could make the kids act out even more, or start throwing a tantrum or what not. But my friend insisted spanking would work and that that if you don't spank you have horribly behaved children. I ended the conversation right there

What do you do all day? I get this question a lot since becoming a stay at home mom. And it's one I always wandered before I had kids. But the truth is I don't know how people who work and have kids do it. Major props to y'all. Sure some days I am super mom. I get up, make the kids a fabulous breakfast, head off to the park for a playdate, go grocery shopping, run errands, clean, do laundry and make dinner. Other days I have a fussy teething baby and a tantruming toddler and I declare it pajama day and we do nothing but laze around all day. And I'm fine with that. All that matters is that my kids are getting the love and attention they deserve. If that means cuddles on the couch all day I'm ok with that. I've learned to stop putting so much pressure on myself to do it all

One upping Isn't it funny how when you get a group of moms together everything becomes a competition. Like whose kids walked first, or talks in complete sentences or reads before the age of 3. Every kid develops differently and I've had to learn to not compare my kids to other kiddos. And trust me thats really hard!

At the end of the day you have to do what works for you regarding you and your family. Now when I see fussy, screaming kids at the store I think that they must have missed nap time or are over stimulated.  Irritable kids at restaurants just make me laugh because at the end of the day, aren't we the parents at fault for expecting them to sit still for over an hour, Crabby kids at church don't bother me because their family is taking the time to teach them about God and to incorporate them into a church family, stay at home and working mom's are all amazing and have it hard no matter the way you look at it and tantruming toddler's are just a part of my every day life. I pick my battles and provide structure and support the best way I know how.

Have any of you encountered any of these experiences?


  1. I'm a working mom and wish I were a SAHM. When I'm home on weekends, it's awesome. During the week, I am exhausted. Who am I kidding, everyday I am exhausted. People don't realize all the chasing around you have to do. People without kids or who have nannies are convinced you just sit the kid wherever and they just stay. Uh no. You have to play with them, teach them things, show them things, etc.

  2. I'm not a mom yet but I get the question of what do I do all day since I stay home. Gets really old after a while.

  3. Oh my goodness! Everything you said is exactly how I used to feel before I had my baby. He'll be 4 months next week and if I do one chore a day and shower I'm proud of myself. ha! I give working parents a TON of credit! You have to love unwanted advice.. sometimes things just don't work let's face it! Your kids are super cute...good luck!

  4. its amazing what other people will bring up and the actually discuss OPENLY the rights and wrongs of bringing children up in this world.

    the church thing drives me CRAZY! kids NEED church, why is it bad if they are there and being a kid. i just dont get it.

    and i TOTALLY get the days where we are ON TOP OF THE WORLD EVERYTHING gets done and then the days where we dont give a care in the world, we spend it sitting on the floor all days playing games and singing songs. :)

    great post friend!