Friday, March 15, 2013

My strong willed child

Lately the need for discipline fort toddler has become evident. G is def at the age where she tests her limits and boundaries. And I'm afraid to say not much works as regards to disciplining her.

Her new favorite thing to do is throw fake tantrums. Those I always ignore and they end pretty quickly. It's the every day behavior that I'm struggling with. At this stage it's hard to know how much she comprehends and understands although I'm probably not giving her enough credit.

When we go for walks she loves to run off which obviously is dangerous. And when I go get her after she runs away she continues to keep going. It's a game to her. Calling her name, asking her to come back or even a gentle swat on the butt don't work. She has starting ignoring me and will cover her ears or eyes as if to say I can't see or hear you Mama

Every toddler book says to speak gently to your children, speak so they can understand you. Calmly give directions.

I do all that. It doesn't work. When g has her mind set on something no one will tell her what to do

Any advice mamas. Any good toddler books out there you recommend. I'm getting very nervous for the summer when we are out and about and I'm dealing with a mobile baby and a toddler who doesn't listen!

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  1. I have a feeling I will go through this too with my little Emma. She is about to be one and is already testing us.

  2. Umm my child is doing the same! It must be the July baby thing lol. I usually talk to her just like you and it doesn't work and to me it seems like I'm talking to a brick wall, but we are trying and I think they are just learning. But I can understand so much! I get so frustrated when she has a very naughty day. I have time out for those days that she doesn't want to listen to me.

  3. avrie is testing me too, its so the age and keeping calm is key!

  4. I tried everything with Madison and finally one thing worked. When she clearly defies me and doesn't listen I warn her I will take a toy away until she is good. If she messes up after that warning I take a toy and put it away out of sight. There is tears at first but she has learnt that good girls get toys and play time and when she is Gd she gets excited to get the toy back, its like going to the toy store Haha!

  5. Taking away Delia's beloved Rosie doll has been the biggest help for us. I give her one warning and if she continues, Rosie goes. Lately, she'll still defy us and we just put her in time out over and over and over and over until she stays and is able to tell us what she did wrong. Consistency is key and following through is huge. I realize when I start to get slack and warn Delia over and over, she picks up on that and will defydefydefy. It's awful. right now, she's throwing the biggest tantrum of her life.

  6. I have to agree with Danielle.... Consistency and following through will be the best thing you can do. It's totally normal at this age for her to be testing you. (And I know how frustrating that is.) Try a visual/sticker chart, set up a special reward for a certain length of time for good behavior. That worked wonders with my son when he was about this age. Taking away a favorite toy, and explaining why, and then how she can earn it back is another thing I've found helpful. My daughter is almost two now, and she's starting to do the same things G is, so I'm about to start Round 2, so I totally "feel you".

    Oh, and another one... as un-fun and inconvenient as it is... if you are out, and it's not something you absolutely have to stay out and do... when she starts running off, and your warnings for good behavior aren't heeded by her, pick up and go home. Period. (A max of two warnings.... 3 means you go home.) Being out and doing fun stuff is a reward. Start taking that away, and she'll realize that if she wants to go to the park, she needs to listen and be on her best. It'll take some time, but you'll all get there. Hang in there, mama! =)

  7. Yes, I am very familiar with this. My daughter, Rebecca, is 4 yrs old and is VERY strong-willed. I still struggle with her to this day. I am very laid-back with discipline which is most of the reason she is so naughty. She knows she can get away with it. But I am with you on the fact that talking to a strong-willed child, DOES NOT WORK. Read the book, "The strong-willed child". It's an amazing book! Follow through is key and teaching consequences. Taking things away and stopping the behavior as soon as she does it. You have to show her you're in charge, not her.