E's take on Mommy working out

Silly mommy worked out today. Who does she think she has to impress? I'm cute but all I'm concerned about are her boobs. You know what I'm saying! If those things go away how am I supposed to eat?

What's that. Oh mommy says she's getting ready for daddy to come home. Whatever that means. What does she have to get ready for? So you know what this woman called mommy did? She pretended I was a weight and did lunges, squats and bench presses. Then she got on her hands and knees and did these things called push ups. I got kisses out of it so I'm not complaining. Did I have fun. Sure what's not fun about watching a person jump around like a crazy person. or huff and puff about how out of shape she is. I just enjoyed watching my droll hit her face when she was lifting me up and down doing bench presses. I can't help it. I'm teething

Now Mommys passed out on the floor. Hello, Mommy? I'm hungry. Give me the boobs!

How do they do it

Some days when I log onto blogger, instagram, facebook and twitter I instantly get discouraged. I read blog posts that are amazing and insightful full of beautifully edited photos of children in adorable outfits.

I compare their posts to mine with their millions of followers and thousands of comments and get frustrated. The post I wrote that seemed so awesome the day before is full of spelling errors and my mindless rambling. The photos are from my iPhone and my kids are fully of snotty noses and stained clothes! I'm lucky to get one comment!

Then I look at the moms themselves in the pictures. Always with their hair curled perfectly, and dressed adorably trendy one day after popping out a baby. Of course the baby weight is all gone!

How do you do it! Some days I barely have time to brush my teeth or comb my hair. Forget working out. Neither kid naps at the same time and the only gym that offers childcare won't accept E until he is 6 months. And lets be honest. If both kids do nap at the same time I'm either scrambling to clean, do laundry or take a nap myself

And lets not talk about the crafty moms. The moms who put me to shame by always doing creative activities with their kids, or who think of all these cute goodie bags for every holiday to pass around to Giannas daycare class. Sigh. I'm lucky if I remember to buy a bag of chocolates to pass around to her class let alone label the bags with a cute tag

And then I wander why I put so much pressure on myself. I don't have to compare myself to anyone. I love reading blogs and following people on Instagram for the fun of it. Not to hold myself up to anyone's standards.

I will still wander how people find time to cram their days full of crafting, learning and play time with their kids while also working out and doing their hair and makeup! But I'm hoping once my husband gets home ill be that mom too!

Until them however the kids and I are hibernating at home, rocking it out in our pjs




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Ethan is 5 months

5 months. Where has the time gone. I think time goes by even faster with the second child. I can't believe how old my little man is already.

And while I love all stages of baby and toddlerhood the 5 month stage is one of my favorites. You are out of the newborn stage and have become more of a person. Your personality is starting to shine through and you are so active and alert.

Lets talk about your smile. Your smile melts my heart. It starts out slow and then spreads across your whole face. It's the most beautiful sight in the world. And you smile often. You have become such a happy baby. Your colic periods seem to be over and you are much more content. You love playing with your toys, especially if I'm right there by you and you love listening to and watching your sister

You are so vocal. You laugh, giggle, coo and growl. Yup growl. And You make these silly noisy that sound just like ET. It is hilarious though kinda creepy when you do that at 2am

You have great head control when on your tummy and can roll from back to front and front to back. You are starting to attempt the army crawl. You don't get very far but your trying very hard.

We tried rice cereal a few weeks ago and you didn't like it. I will attempt it again this week

You had your first double ear infection and are now teething. We are back to being up every two hours at night but other than that you are handling it well

You are such a sweet baby. In order to fall asleep you need this stuffed puppy that you grasp onto and snuggle up against or pull over your face. It is the sweetest thing. I hope you will always be my sweet boy. I know when you become a big, unruly teenager I will always envision the way you had to fall asleep either curled up against me with a fistful of my hair or snuggling with your blue puppy.

We are still co sleeping though you do fall asleep in your bassinett around 9 and sleep until 12 before waking up to eat. Then usually you get up around 4 and then 6. I was going to attempt to try and transition you to your crib before your daddy comes home but I'm just not ready yet.

You love your pacifier! Thank god for that and you will also take a bottle. Which is something your oater did not do until she was 10 months old

At your last appt you weighed 16 pounds and was 23 inches long. You haven't gained any weight since your 2 month visit but are finally starting to lengthen out!

You are in size 3 diapers and 6-9 month clothes. All the 9 month summer clothes I bought I better start putting on you now since I'm a few months I think you will be up another size

Ethan, you are perfect in every way. You complete are little family more than I ever thought possible. This mom, who was terrified of having a boy can't wait to do all the fun boy stuff. Such as playing Legos, cars or trains. I can't wait to watch you play tee-ball and soccer and I can't wait to watch you grow. I love you more and more each day. That said however please don't be in a hurry to grow up!

I love you to the moon and back















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Finding time for yourself

Yesterday I wrote about selfishness and motherhood. How we can get caught up in the trap of putting our wants and needs before our children. As I continued to read further in the chapter of the book I quoted yesterday there was a section on finding time for yourself.

In order to give the best of ourselves to our children we need time for ourselves. When we feel refreshed, calm and happy we give that to our children.
Excerpt from Desperate:Hope for the mom who needs to breathe
" Day in and day out we give to our children, and it's a privilege to do so. I'm thankful for the opportunity to pour into my children, but when we choose to give the best of ourselves to them, we will need a break or we will  break. We will become desperate".
"I used to think me time, has selfish connotations but I think it's more selfish to go crazy and then to be fully alive for your children"
So Find a way to get out. Find your happy place, your soul filling and go."

This book was just what I needed to read. After throwing myself a pity party and lamenting on how I never get a break I needed to read about how being a parent requires work and sacrifice. I also needed to have confirmation that it is ok to want and need a break and to go out and get one. A refreshed mommy is a better mommy to her kids. So I am taking that break and going out tomorrow to get a massage and a hair cut which I haven't done in about a year. Then I can come home, refreshed and relaxed to by the mom that I want to be. Not a shell of a mom who wants to lay on the couch all day and do nothing!!

Selfishness and Motherhood

I am a selfish Mommy. This past week has been a rough one. Between two urgent care visits, a dr's visit, car repairs and lots to do around the house I have officially reached the end of my rope. The terrible 2's have arrived turning my sweet G into a monster who gets upset over anything and everything and my little man screams non-stop due to teething and a double ear infection. Yesterday as E screamed and screamed I contemplated walking out the front door and leaving. (I know that sounds extreme but my dad was in town so it's not like they would have been left alone) But in all seriousness I was beyond frustrated. And that frustration led to a pity party.

A pity party where I moaned and groaned about not having any "me"time. I complained about not having any time to read a book without listening to a toddler throw a tantrum over a cookie or hearing the baby wake up after just laying him down for a nap. I became jealous of my husband who I wished I could trade places with and I swore I was going to start looking for jobs because I didn't want to be a stay at home mom anymore.The whole day I spent irritated, frustrated, stressed out to the max hoping for some alone time on the couch so I could catch up on my reality tv and drink a glass of wine.

Motherhood is hard and parenting, actual parenting which requires you to be a present and active part in the training and teaching of your kids life is even harder. And some days I don't think I'm strong enough to do it. Some days all I want to do is lay on the couch and watch tv. And I know that as a mom of 2 under 2 that that is selfish

Don't get me wrong. I'm all for time away from the kids and believe that that time away makes me a better mom! And its good for the kiddos as well to have time away from me. But having days where I throw myself a pity party and ignore my kids so I can read a book or watch tv is a day wasted. A day which could have been full of fun activities with the kids and myself

Before I went to bed last night I opened up my book that my small group is reading since I am a week behind. The book is Desperate by Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson and it is amazing. Today's chapter spoke to me as it was all about selfishness and motherhood.

I came across this verse and quote from the book and was instantly humbled
"God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble"
                                                                                        James 4:6

The author goes on to say this
" The opposite of humility is pride. And it is my own pride that keeps me from doing the hard things and giving up myself for the sake of my children."

"You and I, we love our children to the core of our beings. We would die for them. But for some reason we have a hard time putting away our books, our computers or crafts in order to serve them, train them, encourage them and fill their souls with life. Every day"

"Choosing to enter into the mundane with our children, who see playing ponies as anything but ordinary is a sacrifice of love. Choosing to enter into a project that will turn into a training session is a sacrifice of love. We will have to choose patience and kindness over frustration and giving up. We'll have to choose to take time to train and teach and perhaps discipline. The choosing to engage means choosing to do the hard work of loving through our actions."

Reading this chapter  humbled me. I had been so caught up in how every day is spent cleaning, running errands, changing diapers and taking care of the kids, leaving with me with no time to myself that I forgot how important it is to just live in the moment with your kiddos. That engaging with them, teaching them, and playing with them is showing them love. And although I may want to sit down and read a book, playing tea party with my daughter is so much more important. In a few short years she will be in school and I will have all the time in the world to read a book. I know when that day comes I will look back upon this one and wish I could have this day back. So here's to living in the moment with my kids, spending as much time with them as possible, engaging fully and pushing my book to the side until they've gone to bed.

Saw it, Pinned it, Completed

I am not the craftiest of people and although I can get ideas in my head of how I want a room to look, it's hard for me to pull it all together. Thank god for pinterest because if it weren't for some project's I found on there I'd probably have bare walls throughout the house! I worked on a few pinterest projects the past few weeks and finished them this weekend. I have to do all my projects when I have family in town otherwise trying to complete anything while taking care of both kiddo's is impossible.

One project I had been wanting to work on was our front entryway. It's a huge wall and we had one small picture hanging. I found this idea on pinterest

This girl's blog is amazing. Click on the picture to be taken to the direct link or click HERE to be taken to her awesome blog House of Rose!

Here is my entryway

I just need to replace that table and then I will be happy with the finished product

Another project I had been wanting to do was for Ethan's room. It was so easy to decorate Gianna's room in everything pink, princessy, frilly and girly but for some reason I had a hard time decorating Ethan's room. I wanted something bold, lots of primary colors, yet that didn't involve a theme. Something he could grow into. And then I stumbled across this on another one of my favorite blogs Vintage Pretty Pearl

E's finished product

I think it turned out great. It adds just enough color to his room and will be something that we can keep up for awhile

Any pinterest or blog ideas you found and tried out?

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That's 15 bucks for the month. I can't wait toget our first box


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My First's

I saw a couple bloggers doing this and enjoyed reading their posts so I thought I'd do the same

1.  First thing you do when you wake up in the morning

Use the bathroom, check my email and log onto facebook, instagram, pinterest and blogger to do some quick catch up. Then I hop into the shower and try to get ready for the day before the kiddo's awake.

2.  First thing you do when you get home from work

I don't work anymore. But usually I plan all our activities in the morning so when they are over I get the kids home and while they nap I change into comfy clothes and read or watch tv depending on if I'm all caught up with my laundry or cleaning

3.  First kiss

Was with Adam D in 8th grade. My first "real"boyfriend I guess you could say. If any relationship under the age of 16 is real hehe!

4. First home

I grew up in Milwaukee, Wi where my whole family lived but my first home would be the first apartment the hubs and I rented in Fayetteville, NC, Our first official house though we bought in Crestview, Fl

5.  First car

A Cutlass Oldsmobile. It had an electronic dashboard and no working air conditioning. I loved it!

6.  First car accident/ traffic violation

Hmm my first speeding ticket was in the summer of 08. I had been out at a picnic with friends and wasn't feeling good so I headed home. I was in too much of a hurry and was doing 25 over. Opps

7.  First thing you wanted to be when you grew up

A teacher! I played school for hours with my friends as a kid

8.  First choice beverage

Coffee with lots of creamer.

9.  First choice dessert

red velvet cheesecake.

10.  First choice of restaurant

A yummy surf and turf restaurant.

11. First song that comes to mind

You are my sunshine! I sing that every day to my kiddo's

12.  First major purchase

Our first house.

13.  First job

Carhop at A&W rootbeer.

14.  First time you flew on a plane

April 2002 heading to Arizona and Las Vegas for choir tour ! 

15.  First real "big girl" job

Office Assistant at the Police Dept. Loved that job

What are some of your firsts?

My strong willed child

Lately the need for discipline fort toddler has become evident. G is def at the age where she tests her limits and boundaries. And I'm afraid to say not much works as regards to disciplining her.

Her new favorite thing to do is throw fake tantrums. Those I always ignore and they end pretty quickly. It's the every day behavior that I'm struggling with. At this stage it's hard to know how much she comprehends and understands although I'm probably not giving her enough credit.

When we go for walks she loves to run off which obviously is dangerous. And when I go get her after she runs away she continues to keep going. It's a game to her. Calling her name, asking her to come back or even a gentle swat on the butt don't work. She has starting ignoring me and will cover her ears or eyes as if to say I can't see or hear you Mama

Every toddler book says to speak gently to your children, speak so they can understand you. Calmly give directions.

I do all that. It doesn't work. When g has her mind set on something no one will tell her what to do

Any advice mamas. Any good toddler books out there you recommend. I'm getting very nervous for the summer when we are out and about and I'm dealing with a mobile baby and a toddler who doesn't listen!


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Are we there yet

It feels like the end of this deployment is dragging. I am so ready this to be over and for my husband to be home. Deployments with kids are a whole different ball game. Busy and isolating at the same time. Before kids I worked and filled up my schedule with work and lots of girls nights with friends. And when the deployment was over life picked up where it left off. Sure the hubby may have needed a few days to relax and reintegrate but I went about my life as usual and it was no big deal.

With the end of this deployment approaching I'm getting nervous and anxious. The hubs left before G turned 1 years old. Sure he was only back in Nc for a course but he was still gone for 4 months. Then he came home for two weeks when she was 16 months and left. He will come home to a full blown toddler. When he asks about her he asks if shesays much, or if her legs are still chunky and the size clothes she is wearing. It makes me sad because he has missed so much of her life. She is talking, and walking up a storm. Long gone is the baby he left behind and in her place is a tall, skinny, independent toddler

And E. The hubs was luckily home for the birth but left when E was two days old. He came home when E was a month and left 2 weeks after that. He will come home much older baby. He missed E's newborn stage, the first time E found his hand and started sucking, the first time he rolled over. All of the first's he missed of his son. It's heartbreaking

Most days I don't stop and think about what my husband goes through. Sure I know deployments are hard but when I'm caught up in sick babies and running the house at home it's hard to not be jealous that he has more free time than I do! All I can envision when he gets home is help around the house and the occasional break for me but I've never stopped and really thought about what it will be like for him to come home.

At church tonight my small group was discussing this very topic. All us military wives were talking about how hard it is to relinquish control to our husbands when they got home. How hard it was to change our daily routine to re-accomodate our spouses and how we expect them to walk in the door immediately and start helping around the house and picking up the slack on things they haven't been able to do since they've been gone. We also moaned and groaned about how our husbands will probably just sit and play video games leaving us to still care for the kids with the added mess of their laundry and shit everywhere while they nagged us about letting them relax since they've been off in a war zone for months.

One woman stood up and told us to stop and put ourself in our husbands shoes. She stated that she is active duty and deploys frequently. That it is her husband who stays home with the kids. And that every time she leaves she knows it will be hard to come home. For not only do we change when our spouses are away, they change as well. They leave families and friends whose lives continue like normal when they are gone. They come home to memories and events missed and a new family routine in place that doesn't involve them. She said its devastating to come home to children who barely remember you, or who are afraid to come by you since they've sensed you've changed. She explained to us about sleepless nights spent sitting in her darkened living room where she felt utterly alone and she told us that after they come home we still need to be strong. We need to be the rock of our families and let our husbands adjust. No matter how much we want to nag them to take out the garbage or to spend time as a family. We need to let them breath. She also brought up the fact that it is not about us as wives anymore. It is more about the kids and it is important to let the kids bond with their dad and vice versa.

I was instantly humbled after hearing this woman talk. How many times does my husband call and I complain about my day. How many times do I tell him that he has no idea what to expect, how different life is with 2 kid's under 2. How many times do I email him about how I can't wait until he's home so I can take a shower, or read a book uninterrupted. And how many times do I stop and think about what it will be like to come home to 2 kids that don't know you. Never. I am so consumed with my own stresses and anxiety that I deal with during deployments that I never stop and think about his.

And the woman is right. It's not about me anymore. It's about the kids. So if my husband wants to sit and play video games I'm not going to worry about it. As long as he isn't doing it when the kids are awake. And for all the piles of laundry and crap that will clutter our house I will let it go because as long as my husband is bonding with our kids, that is all that matters. And although it may be weeks before I get my nice long shower I will smile just listening to my daughter call out Daddy and to have my husband respond to her where weeks before she was met with silence

Bye Bye Reader

What am I going to do now that google reader is going away. Follow all my favorite blogs on bloglovin of course. I hope you all will continue to follow me as well.

Click here to go to my direct link
Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Giveaway Winner

Announcing the Earth's best  veggie puree giveaway winner....Murdock's Mama! You are the lucky winner. Email me your mailing address and I will get your goodies out to you!

And sorry it took me so long to post. Once again my daughter is sick with a double ear infection. This makes it her 3rd in less than 2 months. I had an evaluation for her ears scheduled for April 1 to get tubes possibly put in but her dr squeezed me infor an eval tomm. At this point her chronic ear infections are def not good for her hearing and her delay in speech probably has something to do with all these ear infections as well. Thanks for being patient with me!

The final countdown

The official countdown has begun! We are in the final stretch of this deployment. The hubs homecoming is still a few weeks away possibly months but the end is in sight. And boy am I ready for him to come home. I have an entire list compiled here of why my husband needs to come home. And now!

1. Whose my daddy. I took Gianna to open gym at the gymnastics place in town Friday. Normally it's a bunch of moms and their toddlers but it was a three day weekend here for all the army guys. Gianna followed all the guys around begging to be picked up. If a guy was playing with his daughter Gianna would run and try to get involved. It broke my heart. I know she misses her daddy terribly

2. My son needs a man in his life. Between swinging on Gianna's purple swing, playing tea party with his sister and watching sophia the first over and over on the Disney channel my little man is craving some man time. He def needs his daddy home!

3. I am so sick of coming home to an empty house. I detest it. There are days I pull up to my house and sit in my driveway prolonging the inevitable.

4. Mommy time- this mom needs some alone time. Not necessarily to go out and do anything outrageous but I would love to be able to shave both legs at once. Or to take a shower longer than five minutes.

5. I'm sick of doing house projects by myself. My husband wants the back splash done in our kitchen. He said it could wait until he got home. Now he wants it done before. I have been to lowes every day buying samples of tile and emailing him pictures. He seems to think its easy to go shopping with two babies. Ha! I'm ready to just grab some random tile off the shelf, get it done and tough crap if the hubs doesn't like it. J/k I don't want to waste money on something the husband won't like

6. Shopping- I can't wait to go shopping alone. Or at least have help when I have errands to run. Loading two kids up in a shopping cart doesn't leave much room for groceries. And a toddler throwing a temper tantrum in the store is a quick way to put me in a bad mood. I think one of the first thing my husband should do when he gets home is take both kids to run errands. I'm sure then he won't be so quick to bring up the fact that staying home with the kids is easy

7. I am super excited for us to finally be a family and to start creating memories as a family of four. I took the kids for a walk today and all of our neighbors were out grilling with their husbands and kids. I just want my husband to be home so we can enjoy normal day to day activities with each other

There are a million more things on my list about why I want him home but those are the main ones. I just have to keep forging ahead and counting down the days. We are ready for him. The kids welcome home outfits have arrived, the welcome home banner ordered and delivered and operation sexy mommy is in place. We love and miss you babe


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While you were gone

I like to keep busy during deployments. It helps the time go by quickly. Somewhat at least. And while some of the activities we do are big milestones for the kids, such as first trip to the zoo or first Christmas, it's the every day stuff that really matters. And like little kids tend to do, mine are growing up quickly. I thought I'd share some of my favorite pics from these past few months that the hubby has been gone.

The big 29

I turned 29 on the 26th. I can't believe I have only one year left until I am 30! I feel like it was just yesterday that I turned 21
My brother and his girlfriend watched the kiddo's so I could go out to my favorite restaurant down in Destin with my girlfriends. It was amazing to go out to dinner without having to worry about a screaming toddler or having to nurse a baby while eating. The 3 dollar martini's were also a plus! The only thing that could have made my night better was if the hubby were home. Oh well, hopefully he will be home next year as I celebrate the big 30

My pink ombre birthday cake my bro's girlfriend made for me. (We ran out of frosting and couldn't finish decorating it!)

Baby bro and I

 My amazing girlfriends! This past year has been amazing. Here's to an even better one. A year full of my husband coming home and creating lasting memories with our kiddos'

Earth's best veggie purees and a giveaway!

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4 months!

How can it be that my little man is 4 months old. It seems like just yesterday I was feeling him kick and move in my belly. In fact or was this time last year that I found out I was unexpectedly expecting. Although another baby so close in age to Gianna wasn't in my plans it was def Gods plan and now I can't imagine my life without my two sweet blessings.

Ethan has become such a happy, smiley, content baby. Gone are the screaming fits for hours on end at night and he has gotten better with being put down. Of course he still likes to be held the majority of the time but he also likes his swing, bouncy chair and play mat. He has started reaching for his toys and is able to grab them and put them in his mouth. He loves holding something close to his face, especially a blanket.
He rolls over and has started to scoot when placed on the floor. He does amazing at tummy time and loves to look around at everything in front of him

Gianna makes him laugh and smile like no one else can. Of course she's usually doing something like stealing his pacifier or trying to sit on top of him but he finds it hysterical.

He is a pretty good sleeper at night. We are still co-sleeping but he usually only wakes up once or twice. He is still exclusively breastfeeding thought I will be starting him on oatmeal in a few weeks. I can't believe it's time to start introducing foods!

He is 15.9 pounds and 23 inches long. He is in 6-9 month clothes and size 3 diapers. He is a big boy!

My favorite time of day with him is after Gianna has gone to bed. I lay with him on the couch and its as if he knows he has me all to himself. He just turns and stares at me, making the cutest faces and noises all while holding my hand or a chuck of hair which is how he will eventually fall asleep.

I love you little man but if possibly please stop growing. Your growing up so fast
















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Taking it all in

There are certain moments in life I wish I could bottle up forever. Moments that I wish I could bottle up and save for a later day. Moments that I can revisit and relive over and over. Moments that pictures or blog posts don't do justice

Since I've had kids these moments occur more and more. Every day I am aware of how fast my kids are growing up! I wish I could slow down time, hit the pause button and savor them just a little longer. These are some of my recent moments

Holding my friends newborn baby the other day and smelling that awesome baby smell immediately took me back to the day each of my kids were born. Those days spent in the hospital with each kid were magical. It was like life didn't exist outside of our hospital room. My baby, myself and the husband were the only people that mattered. Nothing else was as important. Some days I wish I could pack us and return to that bubble. I will never forget the way each of my kids smelled, or the way they for perfectly in my arms and how amazing it was to sit and rock them for hours. I will treasure that memory always

Another moment occurred yesterday. Since it was my brother and his girlfriends last day in town we took the kids to the zoo. The first time I took Gianna to the zoo she was 9 months old and had no idea what was going on. This time was a whole other ball game. I didn't bring the stroller and she loved her newfound sense of independence running from exhibit to exhibit. It was hilarious watching her walk past a huge giraffe to chase a small bird instead. And the sight of her peering over the fences to see Into the animals cages was a sight to remember. But the moment that seeped into my heart the most was watching my independent little toddler run ahead of me on the trail, the pitter patter of her feet saying Look at me, I'm doing this all on my own and the smile on her face that showed off her excitement. And every few steps, my big girl would stop, look back at me as if to say Are you still there mom, are you watching me and after verifying that I was, she'd scamper off again


And everyday I look at my baby boy who is not really a baby anymore and I realize the saying is true. Time goes by faster with each kid and while I wish I could slow it down and keep them little forever I'm enjoying the ride of motherhood

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