Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Guest Blogger-Mrs M from Diapers, Dogs and Deployments

Hello everyone!

I am excited to have Mrs M from Diapers, Dogs and Deployments as my guest blogger for the day. Since baby girl came earlier than expected it is nice to have some guest posts set up for y'all. And this is one I'm sure a lot of you can relate to. Mrs M is also a military spouse and new mom.

First of all, I would love to congratulate Katie and her husband on the arrival of their daughter! Enjoy every moment and take lots of pictures, it flies by way too fast.

I'm Amanda (or Mrs. M) and I blog over at Diapers, Dogs and Deployments. I'm the wife of a Marine and mommy to our three month old, JR and our two year old pitbull mix, Jethro. I'm a SAHM currently and I enjoy horseback riding, scrapbooking, photography and couponing! We're stationed in California until next year when my husband reaches EAS and we plan to move back east. I blog about my adventures in being a mom, a military spouse and everything in between. Sometimes I come off as snarky or sarcastic, I'm pretty opinionated, but I have my lovers and my haters.

Katie asked me to blog about being a new mom and a milspouse. We all (well most of us) know how hard it is being a milspouse. Crazy schedules, training, and deployments. The household duties of cooking, cleaning, managing the finances and trying to keep up with everything all while attempting to hold yourself together.

When you throw babies in the mix, things go from crazy to chaotic!

My husband deployed to Afghanistan in August of last year. Five days after he left, I got a big fat positive on a pregnancy test. I was overjoyed and overcome with sadness all at the same time. We were trying for a baby, but after a miscarriage just a month before, I was unsure how to feel. I was also sad because my husband was in the middle of the desert and not here to share this moment with me. I told no one until I spoke to him, he had to be the first to know. He was happy and excited at first, but as the deployment dragged on, he seemed to regress and wasn't really happy anymore. He was happy, but he was upset that he wasn't there to experience any of it.

Being pregnant alone was hard, but I handled it. I went to my appointments, and made a point to share anything I could with my husband. I went as far as buying a fetal heart monitor so I could record the heartbeat and send it to him. I mailed him ultrasound pictures, anything to make him feel closer, feel more connected. My husband was expected home in January, so I convinced my doctor to delay our anatomy scan until he got home, and she agreed. Well once January rolled around, he was not coming home yet, and the doctor said that it would be unsafe to wait any longer (I was 26 weeks along) so I had the scan, but had the doctor write the sex of the baby on a piece of paper and put it in an envelope. I had to go take my glucose test after and my husband called while I was waiting to have my blood drawn and said he wanted to know and to open the envelope. We then found out we had a son. He was completely overjoyed and jumped back on the daddy bandwagon.

My husband arrived home when I was 30 weeks pregnant and it was incredible, it was like he never left. Almost 8 weeks to the day later, my water broke and 12 hours later, we welcomed our son, JR to our lives.

If you're a milspouse with kids, you know that when the baby comes and your husband is home, they get 10 days of leave to spend with you and the baby. Well, after those 10 days, you're on your own again!

Three weeks after my son was born, my husband was sent into the field, and it was so overwhelming for me. I was used to having someone around, at least for the moral support and someone to talk to, whereas when it was just the two of us, a field op was like a vacation for me!

Being a SAHM has been hard for me, I feel trapped and like I'm going in circles, or going nowhere. I'm slowly warming up to it, but it's been hard. Dealing with everything that goes along with being the wife of a service member is even harder when you have to make sure dinner is made, the bills are paid and the diapers are changed!

My husband works long hours, and even though he comes home every night, and we have no more deployments in our future, sometimes I still feel like a single mom. Don't get me wrong, my husband is an incredible father. He helps out so much with JR. He always makes it a point to play with JR and to help out as much as he can when he gets home, but with his crazy schedule that changes twelve times a day, it's hard to make plans, or to stay sane sometimes.

As moms and milspouses, there is a lot on our plates, but I am strong believer that God never gives us more than we can handle. Somehow, at the end of the day, my husband is fed, my son is happy and my house looks at least halfway decent, even though I had to skip my shower to make sure it all happened.

I feel incredibly lucky and blessed to have my family, and no matter how hard things get, know that this too, will pass and in the end, it's always worth it!

Thanks again for sharing Amanda! I love your honesty and advice! Be sure to head on over to her blog. It is super cute

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