Mom guilt

One of my favorite bloggers, Laura from Between the lines wrote her own post today about mom guilt. It's funny how you wake up in the morning ready to pour your feelings out into your blog only to read someone else dealing with the same issues you are. It helps to know you are not alone!

Gianna is teething and has been now for the past two weeks. And this time around its a nightmare. She is so fussy, whiny, clingy and bi polar.nyes bi polar. My sweet little girl has no idea what she wants. She gestures to be picked up, then arches to be put down. Then gestures again to be picked up. She's not eating anything besides her bottles and is refusing to take her naps. Yesterday I took her to the pool and she screamed the whole time. She finally fell asleep in the car ride home and transferred to her crib. I got to work cleaning and making myself lunch and 20 mins later someone was up and screaming. This lasted all day and night. Finally at 630 I picked her up and we went for a drive. After a half hour drive we returned home for bath time and bedtime. Finally I sat down and breathed a sigh of relief. Later as the hubs and I went to bed a flood broke and I started crying. I felt so bad for being so short tempered with her and losing my patience. I know she cant help it but she was driving me crazy

Then of course I got to thinking about when the baby comes and the pregnancy thus far. I still feel like Gianna is getting jipped of attention. With the constant nauseau, throwing up and low low blood pressure I'm always tired and in the mornings have to spend awhile on the couch before I feel up for doing anything. This makes me feel like the worst mom in the world. If it wasn't for bubble guppies I don't know hownid get through some mornings. Now I'm feeling a little better so I've been trying to spend as much one on one time with Gianna as I can but then I can't help thinking how in a few months she won't be the only child. I was planning on having another year to spoil my little girl until adding to our family.

And don't get me wrong. We are so excited to be having another baby. Estatic. My feelings have nothing to do with baby boy. Just that I feel bad for my daughter. Everyone says she will adjust and that her and her brother will be best friends and I shouldn't bear myself up. But it's so hard some days. I look at her sweet smile and think about how fast shes growing up and cry about how tired and impatient I've been lately.

But enough of a pity party. I'm going to get off my blog and spend all day at home with my lil girl, playing and snuggling and smothering her with kisses

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Baby boy

Saturday we found out that we were expecting a baby boy. And I'm still in shock from the news

Going into the ultrasound I was so convinced it was another girl. I had the nursery all planned. Down to the purple/grey walls, and an accent wall with this amazing purple and black damask style wall paper that would go amazing with this gorgeous white furniture set I found at Ashley's. You could say I never factored in it could be a boy. Hubs too was convinced it was a girl.

While we were waiting for the ultrasound machine to warm up even the ultrasound tech commented that she thought it was a girl since its been her experience that when pregnancies are close together they are usually the same gender. I smirked and smiled ready to see our baby girl

After getting some great pics of our little one and seeing her move around in my belly we zoomed in on the gender. She pointed something out and asked of we knew what it was. When we said we didn't know she told us it wasn't a third leg and we were expecting a boy. I was shocked. M was speechless. We could not believe it.

After getting some more good pics of our little one off we went to target to buy baby boy some clothes. M was giddy as he found a star wars shirt and a bunch of other cute outfits. I couldn't help sneaking peeks at all the cute girly clothes and Tutus that were calling my name.

How am I going to raise a boy? I am such a girly girl and can easily envision signing up Gianna for ballet and attending her dance recitals. But a football game? Or soft ball? And dealing with a crazy kid running and jumping all over the house. What am I in for? My brother and hubby were joking that this kid is going to be Mr distructo. My husbands mini me.

And that makes me smile. Although Gianna is looking more and more like her daddy each day I can't wait to have another version of the hubs running around. I am excited to have two of each and while Gianna's a daddy's girl I know that baby boy will be a mommys boy. And when we are in the midst of an emotional temper tantrum from Gianna I will have one calm little boy to balance it out!


Here's a pic of my beautiful baby boy


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And it's a...

Boy!! I am so shocked that it turned out to be a boy. I could have sworn it was a girl. But there was no mistaking that third leg

Off to go buy our little boy his first outfit!


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